What Life Could Have Been
by Luna-GrrrBack023
Summary: When 13 year old Beauxbatons student Elise Silvestri transfers to Hogwarts, she doesn't expect life to be much different. How will her life change when she meets some mischievous boys on the train? Marauders-HP books era. Sirius/OFC, please R&R.
1. Moving

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: My first crack at a Harry Potter fic. I've read all the books many times and I'm really sorry if I don't have something right. Feel free to tell me though. Enjoy.**

JK owns Harry Potter, I own the books.

**Moving**

The catch of Elise's trunk snapped shut. She was all packed and just awaited her parents return. They were in London readying the house. Elise heard the fireplace flare up, announcing their arrival and she dragged her trunk downstairs to meet them.

Mr. and Mrs. Silvestri stepped out of the fireplace looking very pleased with themselves.

"Ellie, dear, we're back and we're ready to move. Are you all packed?" her father called up the stairs. He jumped back as her trunk slid down the stairs towards him.

"Yes, Papa. I'm ready," she said, setting her owl's cage on top of her trunk and shouldering her backpack.

Her father took a green drawstring bag out of his pocket and tossed some Floo powder into the fireplace, which immediately flared up green flames. "Be of help to your mother Ellie," he said, before stepping into the flames and shouting "Number 15 Paddington Lane" and disappearing.

Elise and her mother worked the rest of the morning, moving furniture, boxes and trunks into the fireplace and shouting "Number 15 Paddington Lane". Around noon they had everything moved to their new house in London. Mr. Silvestri joined them and they had one last meal. After lunch the family went outside and said goodbye to the little French village they had called home for so many years. Finally all three went back to the living room and stepped into the fireplace and shouted "Number 15 Paddington Lane". There was a flare of green flames and they were gone.

* * *

Elise stepped out of the fireplace of Number 15 Paddington Lane in London and looked around at her new home. Everything was still packed but she could see a little garden out back and she heard her dog Circe barking. The walls were a pale yellow color making the house feel warm and inviting. 

"What do you think sweetie?" her mother asked.

"I like it. It feels like home."

"I'm glad you like it," her father said "Will you go feed Circe while we unpack?"

Elise went to the backyard and sat next to her dog, which licked her in greeting. She filled her dish with food and went back inside. Everything was unpacked and ready to live in.

"Imagine taking days to move in. I can't understand how Muggles live without magic," her father said, looking around.

"Peter," Mrs. Silvestri called, entering from the kitchen "Peter her letter just arrived." She was waving a think envelope in her hand. She handed it to Elise and watched her open it. The first sheet of paper said_: "Dear Ms. Silvestri, We are pleased to inform you that have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Included are a list of books and supplies you will need for your third year. I, Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, will be arriving at your home around noon on July 19 to work out the details of your transfer. Congratulations and have a good summer. Albus Dumbledore."_ The rest of the envelope contained the supplies list, school rules, and the materials covered in the first and second year.

"July 19 is this Friday isn't it, Mother? Elise asked.

"Yes it is. But let us worry about that. Why don't we go pick out your room and unpack. You can take Genevieve to the attic room; it's the perfect owlry. Then we can take a walk around our new neighborhood."

"Can I take Circe?"

"Of course you can."


	2. Sorted

**What Life Could Have Been**

JK owns Harry Potter.

**Sorted**

There was a popping noise and the doorbell rang. Elise ran down the stairs and opened the door. A tall old wizard in purple robes stood there, smiling at her. He had an old hat under his arm.

"Are you Professor Dumbledore?" Elise asked.

"I am indeed Ms. Silvestri. May I come in?"

"Of course, sorry," she said, stepping aside.

"Who is it Ellie?" her mother called from the kitchen.

"It's Professor Dumbledore, Mother. It's July 19, remember?"

He mother came into the living room, wiping her hands on her apron.

"How silly of me. Yes, of course I remember. Good day Albus, I trust you've been well." They shook hands.

"Yes, very well Georgiana. You?"

"I'm great. Please have a seat, I've just made tea. Ellie can you fetch your father?"

Elise ran up the stairs and knocked on her father's study door.

"Papa, Professor Dumbledore's just arrived and Mother's made the tea."

The door opened and her father appeared.

"Thank you. Let's not keep him waiting then."

* * *

The worn old hat dropped over Elise's eyes and a voice spoke in her ear. This was all very strange to her. 

"Ah a transfer. I don't get one of those very often. Where do you belong, let's see. A good heart, a strong mind, ooh and what's this? Loyalty, fierce loyalty to your friends. There's no doubt then, you belong in Gryffindor."

The last word had been said out loud because her parents exclaimed in happiness. Her father pulled off the hat.

"Well done Ellie. I myself was in Gryffindor when I was at school," he said, smiling.

"Splendid," Dumbledore said "Now that's out of the way you need to pick the classes you'll take. The required ones of course but as a third year you have some new options open to you. You can take two or three if you think you're up to it. Let's see, Muggle Studies, Arithmancy, Ancient Runes, Care of Magical Creature, and Divination are your choices."

"Uh, I'll take Arithmancy, Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures."

"You sure that's not too much honey?" her mother asked with concern.

"Well I can always drop one if it's too much, right?"

"Yes, of course you can but I don't think you'll have any trouble. Beauxbatons is usually ahead of Hogwarts by a term or two. Well, I'd say we're all done here. Enjoy the rest of your summer. If you have any questions just drop me an owl."

They all went to the door where Dumbledore bid them another farewell, turned on the spot and disapparated.

"He's a little strange isn't he?" Elise asked.

"Strange but brilliant," her father said "Now let's get your list and take a trip to Diagon Alley."


	3. The Hogwarts Express

**What Life Could Have Been**

JK still owns Harry Potter

**The Hogwarts Express**

Elise sat in a compartment looking out the window watching the other students say their last goodbyes. Her parents had arrived early just in case. They had shown her how the platform worked and explained everything there was to know about the Hogwarts Express. They had found her a compartment and helped her stow her trunk and Genevieve, her owl. Then they had each kissed her on the cheek, left the train and disapparated.

The clock tolled eleven and there was a last minute rush to get on the train. The platform quickly emptied as the students poured onto the train. Parents waved goodbye and then the train started to move and they were out of sight around the corner. Elise returned to the book in her lap, _Les Misérables_ by Victor Hugo. The train was full of laughter and greetings now. It made Elise a little sad to be sitting alone but she'd had this book since she was ten and it was just as good as a friend to her.

There was a commotion in the corridor. A pale faced black haired boy ran past her compartment.

"Get him James," a voice yelled as two more boys streaked past, chasing the first.

A brown haired boy stopped near the door of her compartment and called to the first two, "Don't do anything too stupid". He was followed by a short blond boy.

"Just find us a compartment Rem," a voice answered back.

The brown haired boy shook his head and told the blond boy to "go keep an eye on those two". The short boy quickly followed the first three. Now the brown haired boy was the only one left. He looked into Elise's compartment and saw it was mostly empty. He slowly slide the door open.

"Uh, hi, would you mind if my friends and I joined you? We can't find a compartment." he asked.

"Go ahead."

"Thanks."

He moved four trunks into the compartment and two caged owls. Then he took a seat opposite Elise.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Elise Silvestri," she answered, still reading.

"I don't recognize you, what year are you?"

"Third."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"What house?"

"Gryffindor."

"Really? Me too. But I've never seen you before. Do you know Lily, Alice or Jane?"

Elise had stopped reading her book now.

"No I don't. Who are you?"

"Remus Lupin, I'm a third year Gryffindor just like you. But I've never seen you before."

"I transferred. I lived in France two months ago, don't I have an accent?"

"Yes you do but I didn't recognize it till you said so. Anyway, nice to meet you Elise," he said, extending a hand. She shook it.

"Sorry I'm not very talkative. I'm a little nervous. I don't know anyone or anything here. It's all a little overwhelming."

"Oh don't worry about that," he said "Between the four of us, me and those three idiots you saw run by, we'll get you straightened out. And I'm sure the girls will have something to say too. You'll probably meet them later."

Elise smiled and returned to her book. There was another commotion outside as the "three idiots" returned, grinning. Elise closed her book, knowing now she had friends and it was no longer needed.

"You got him good Sirius", the short blond boy said, with admiration.

"Snivellius had it coming, that's for sure," a tall boy with messy black hair agreed.

"Had what coming?" Remus asked.

"Don't worry yourself Rem; just stick to your books. Hey, who's this?" a boy with longer black hair asked.

They had just noticed Elise watching them curiously.

Remus sighed. "James, Sirius, Peter. I'd like you all to meet Elise Silvestri. Elise this is James Potter," he pointed to the messy haired boy "Sirius Black," he pointed to the boy with longer black hair "and Peter Pettigrew" he pointed to the short blond boy.

"Hello," she said.

"What year and house are you?" James asked. Sirius was watching her closely and Peter was still grinning.

"Third year Gryffindor, just like you apparently."

"You can't be, I've never seen you before," Sirius said.

"If you'd let me finish you'd know that I transferred from Beauxbatons, my family just moved from France."

"You don't look French," James said.

"My parents are English, they lived in France. I was born there so I have a bit of an accent. It all makes perfect sense to me. And I don't see what the problem is. I was sorted by the Sorting Hat just like you. It put me in Gryffindor. End of story right?"

"No need to get your wand in a knot, I was just curious," James said defensively.

"It's okay. I'm not angry I'm just a little nervous. We just moved a month ago and I don't know anyone."

"You know us," Peter said.

Elise smiled. "Yes I do. And it's very nice to meet you all, even if you are a bit inquisitive."

"You wanna play some Exploding Snap?" Peter asked.

They all sat down to a game of Exploding Snap which dragged on and on and on. Soon the sky grew dark and they knew it was time to change into their school uniforms. The four boys waited in the corridor and let Elise have the compartment to change first and then she did the same. While she waited she felt people looking at her. Everyone who went by did a double take. One red headed girl was about to say something when the compartment door opened and Elise stepped gratefully back inside.

"Everyone was staring at me," she said.

"You're a new face and not a first year, of course they were," James said.

The train began to slow and the whistle blew, signaling to the students that it was almost time to get off.

"Leave your trunk; it'll get taken up when we're at dinner."

The five trooped out of the train towards the waiting carriages, which Elise observed were horseless. James seemed to be lagging behind, looking for something.

"Get James into a carriage before he finds Lily," Remus whispered to Sirius, who grabbed James by the arm and pulled him to the nearest carriage which they all piled into.

When they were on their way up to the castle Elise asked, "Who's this Lily I keep hearing about? Is she bad?"

Sirius snorted. "James fancies her but she hates his guts. He can't seem to understand though. She's not bad, doesn't like me much, on account of James I suspect. She can stand Remus because he prefers books to pranks."

"Sirius someday pranks will get you in a lot of trouble and on that day you'll see the sense in me reading."

Sirius waved away Remus' remark as the carriages came to a stop. He hopped out and offered Elise a hand which she took as she gazed in awe up at the castle.

"Oh my," she said "It's a lot bigger than I expected. Is it hard to get to class on time?"

Sirius laughed. "That'll be the least of your worries, believe me."

Walking through the great doors side by side with her new friends Elise felt right at home.


	4. The Welcome Feast

**What Life Could Have Been**

JK owns Harry Potter, I own the books. Still.

**The Welcome Feast**

As soon as they entered the castle James went after the unseen Lily.

"He'll be back soon, probably with a red welt on his face too, she likes to slap him," Sirius said rolling his eyes.

But James came back quickly and with no slap marks on his face. Sirius raised an eyebrow and said nothing. James had a surly look on his face. Apparently he hadn't seen Lily just then; he hadn't seen her on the train either. Remus patted him on the back.

"Don't worry mate, you'll see her in the common room after dinner for sure," Sirius said putting his arm around Elise's shoulder. Elise blushed and said nothing. Both actions went unnoticed until someone behind them shouted at him.

"Black, what poor girl are you harassing now?" a girl's voice called.

James' head snapped around. So did the rest of the groups', though much less dramatically. Lily Evans was giving Sirius a disapproving look and ignoring James entirely.

"I beg your pardon Evans, I'm not harassing anyone. Now why don't you give Potter here a good snog so he can get over you?" Sirius said and promptly turned around and continued with Elise towards the Great Hall, Remus and Peter quickly following. James looked at Lily hopefully for a moment before deciding better and joining the others. Lily, however, was watching the girl, not recognizing her face but recognizing her uniform in Gryffindor colors. She looked their age too.

"I thought you said you liked her okay Sirius," Elise said.

"Yeah well she can get on my nerves sometimes. Thinks that I aim to break the heart of every girl I talk too just because I didn't go with her friend Jane. She likes to overreact."

She looked at Remus who was smiling to himself.

"Remus?"

"Oh nothing. Let's get good seats; I want to watch the sorting."

Remus found seats halfway up the long Gryffindor table that suited everyone and had a good view of the high table. James and Peter sat on one side, the side opposite Lily of course, and Elise sat between Sirius and Remus on the other side. She saw Lily sitting a little way down the table and craning her neck to get a look at her. She turned the other way, not knowing what to think of her yet.

Elise half heartedly watched the sorting. Sirius' younger brother went to Slytherin, which appeared to be the sworn enemy of Gryffindor. She had a lot of questions that needed answering.

She was very surprised when the tables suddenly filled with food but was too hungry to care much. The feast was wonderful and apart from Lily no one seemed to take any interest in her. She talked with the four boys and learned a lot of useful things about secret passages and Slytherins.

After the feast and the singing of the school song the students poured out of the Great Hall and into the rest of the castle, eager to great other friends and get to their dormitories.

"Remember, the Gryffindor common room is behind the portrait of the fat lady in the pink dress on the seventh floor. The password changes but right now it's Amortentia," Remus told her as they climbed the many moving staircases.

"Black! You never answered my question."

"Go away Evans, we're not harassing anyone," Sirius replied irritably.

Lily fell into step next to Remus. "Can't. I'm going the same place as you," she said as James moved between Elise and Remus. "Potter I'm not going to speak to you. Who is she Black?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and walked ahead of them.

"We're really not bothering her Lily," Peter said timidly.

"Yes, they're no bother," Elise finally said.

"Who are you anyway?" Lily asked, not exactly politely.

"Elise Silvestri and I've transferred here from Beauxbatons. I'm a third year Gryffindor. Hope that's not a problem."

Lily was taken aback. "Oh no, not at all...sorry. It's just I don't entirely trust...well Black and Potter. You see, my friend Jane—."

"Yes, we told her about that the first time you yelled at us," Sirius yelled back at her.

"Really? Well—."

"Oh look, the common room, just in time. Amortentia."

The Fat Lady's portrait swung forward to reveal and cozy looking room in the Gryffindor colors of red and gold. There was a large fire place and many different things to sit on. Two staircases led up to what Elise guessed were the dormitories. She had no idea what to do. A tall stern looking witch in green entered right behind them and solved that problem for her.

"You're Miss Silvestri I presume?" she asked.

"Yes ma'am."

"I am Minerva McGonagall, your head of house," she informed Elise. "Gryffindors, this is Elise Silvestri. She's just transferred here from Beauxbatons. I trust you'll all make her feel at home. Don't stay up too late now. You've class tomorrow."

With that she marched right back out of the portrait hole. Elise felt awkward with everyone staring at her. Some people came and introduced themselves, others just looked at her. Finally Lily led her over to a table where two other girls sat.

"Elise, this is Jane and Alice. They're third year too."

"Nice to meet you," Elise said.

"You too," Jane said, shaking her hand.

"Would you like to sit down? We were doing our horoscopes," Alice offered.

"Thank you."

Much later when everyone was in bed Elise lay awake thinking of everything that had happened that day. She was certain that her classes would be just as interesting here as they were at Beauxbatons and the people she'd met were very nice. All in all, it hadn't been a bad day. What would tomorrow have in store for her?


	5. Moonlit Secrets

**What Life Could Have Been**

JKR owns them, I'm just having a bit of fun.

**Moonlit Secrets**

Elise sat on a window seat in the girls' dormitory overlooking the school grounds. Dinner was starting any minute but she was almost finished with this letter and she had promised her parents she would write in a few weeks to tell them how she was settling in. She had much to write about after three very full weeks but Genevieve was up to the task. She signed her name and rolled the long scroll of parchment up.

Out on the grounds movement caught her eye. Two cloaked figures hurried across the grounds to the Whomping Willow, a fearsome tree that the students had been warned to stay away from. The taller figure raised its wand, shouted an incantation and the tree stilled. Then both figures disappeared behind the tree. Many minutes later the taller figure reappeared and returned to the castle in the gathering dark. The figure that hadn't reappeared looked like it had been wearing a school uniform. What was a student doing with the Whomping Willow? It was all very strange. Elise headed down to dinner; she'd be late if she puzzled over it any longer and James and Sirius knew so much about the castle that they were bound to have an answer for her.

"Saved you a seat," Sirius called as she approached them at the Gryffindor table.

"Thanks. Sirius, do you know what...wait, where's Remus?" she asked, looking around the table.

James shrugged. "Dunno, but he didn't look to good in Herbology did he? Maybe he had an allergic reaction."

"I hope he's okay. Anyway, do you know anything about the Whomping Willow? I was watching it from the dormitory," Elise asked.

"I know it was planted the year we started but I don't know why. Why don't you ask Sprout next lesson?" James offered.

She nodded, helping herself to some food.

After dinner the four of them stopped by the Hospital Wing to see if Remus was indeed sick. When they asked Madame Pomfrey, the witch in charge, turned them away very abruptly, not even answering their question. Sirius muttered angrily under his breath as they returned to Gryffindor tower.

"Oh, quit. Next time you get jinxed, who'll fix you up?"

"Shut up James."

Remus wasn't in the boys' dormitory when they got back either. Elise went to bed that night worried for her friend.

Remus wasn't in classes the next day either. Elise was beginning to worry but neither James nor Sirius seemed to be very concerned. Apparently Remus had gotten spontaneously ill before but always reappeared in good health. He turned up in Potions that afternoon and after an initial "You okay mate?" nothing more was said on the matter.

After the third strange occurrence Elise began to notice a pattern in Remus's disappearances, and the pattern shocked her; he was always sick during the full moon. She was sure there could be many explanations and her theory was probably wrong but she couldn't help but wonder if there was more to Remus Lupin than met the eye. James and Sirius hadn't said anything to her about it. Either they didn't trust her or Remus didn't trust them.

One night while they were sitting in the common room doing homework, unlike the ruffians playing Exploding Snap very loudly across the room, Elise got up the courage to ask Remus the question that had been nagging at her for quite some time.

"Remus?" He looked up from his Transfiguration homework. "I've been meaning to ask," She cast a wary glance over at the Exploding Snap extravaganza and lowered her voice to a whisper, "where does the Whomping Willow go and why do you go down there every month?"

A fleeting look of panic flashed across Remus's face. Elise looked over to make sure James and Sirius were still occupied. "Ellie, what're you on about?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Oh don't pretend you don't know. You've been missing for five full moons in a row, and there've only been five so far." His face fell.

"So you figured it out. Where you spying on me?" An accusatory tone lingered in his voice.

"No! I saw the first time when I was finishing a letter and was late for dinner. Sirius told me not to worry, that you were gone all the time, but I was worried and...I'm sorry Remus. I swear _I_ won't tell anyone, but I really think _you _should tell them." She indicated James, Sirius, and Peter. Remus didn't seem to like her suggestion.

"Ellie, I think it's just better I keep it to myself."

"But Remus, I've only known you for a couple of months and I don't mind. If they've been you're friends for three years and would turn away from you because of this, then they're not worth it. I won't tell and I won't say anything more but think about it. Secrets can destroy relationships; I've seen it happen." She returned her attention to her Charms homework and nothing more was said on the subject.

When the third-years began werewolves in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Elise was sure the whole secret was going to come out. James and Sirius were too clever for their own good, and unfortunately they didn't put their brains towards their lessons like she and Remus were apt to do; they liked to stick their noses where they didn't belong.

Remus found a note in his History of Magic textbook one afternoon:

_I know I said I wouldn't badger you but do you really think they won't figure it out with all the essays we're being set on the subject? I'm serious Remus. I'll stand behind you one hundred percent, you know that. _

_Ellie_

He resolved to settle the matter as soon as possible.

Elise had fallen asleep reading by the fire; the Easter holidays were starting and she could finally take a break from school work and personal drama. Remus crept down to the common room with a blanket for her; this whole ordeal was making him feel very alienated from the other Gryffindor third-year boys. He was glad she was there to talk to but he wouldn't be uncomfortable if she hadn't brought it up in the first place. He marked her place in the book and tucked the blanket around her. Remus was sure she was right; Elise could see the best in people, a fact which never ceased to amaze James and Sirius whenever they hexed a Slytherin. With a glance over his shoulder, Remus went back up to bed.

Elise woke in the morning to the warm sunlight spilling onto her face instead of the early morning noises of her fellow Gryffindors. The Easter holidays had officially begun and the few remaining students were making use of the late mornings. She went back up to her now empty dormitory and changed into a silky golden sundress to celebrate the warm weather; she tied her hair back with a bright ribbon for a finishing touch and walked down to breakfast positively glowing.

None of the boys were at breakfast when she arrived. Elise had some bacon and eggs and took a stack of toast back to Gryffindor Tower with her. All was still quiet. She climbed the stairs to the boys' dormitory and listened a moment before knocking at the door. Remus answered. The dormitory was unusually silent behind him.

"Er, is everything alright?" she asked.

"Yeah. I suppose it is." He looked relieved.

She peered around him into the room. James, Sirius and Peter were sitting on a bed, heads together, whispering. They looked up at the conversation at the door.

"'Morning Ellie," Sirius said feebly.

"'Morning," she replied.

"I think Remus has something he should tell you," James encouraged.

Elise smiled and shook her head. "It's okay. I already know."


	6. Rough Waters

**What Life Could Have Been**

**Rough Waters**

The unveiling of Remus's big, bad secret had two effects on the group of friends. First of all, it seemed to bring them all closer, knowing they had a secret and had to protect it. This development perplexed Lily and the other Gryffindor girls to no end: while they still got along quite well with Elise they just couldn't fathom how anyone in their right mind would willingly associate with Sirius Black and James Potter.

The second effect this revelation had on James and Sirius was of a very different nature. It was during one of their early "useless badgering sessions", as Remus called them, that James and Sirius suddenly put their heads together and began to whisper conspiratorially. They were both grinning broadly by the end of their conversation and even Elise beginning to worry about their sanity. When Sirius opened his mouth to explain, she put up a hand to stop him.

"Sirius, think about what you're going to tell us before you say it," she sighed. Elise had quickly come to recognize the maniac looks that Sirius and James got on their faces when they were up to something that she and Remus, not to mention many other unnamed people, would object to.

For a fraction of a second she thought he was going to reconsider. "As I was going to say before, James and I have thought of a solution, well somewhat, to your dilemma Rem." He paused for dramatic affect. "We'll become Animagi."

This genius idea was received much differently than they had expected. Elise stared, Peter looked confused and Remus snorted with laughter.

"Don't you two ever pay attention to McGonagall? That's very advanced and very dangerous magic."

"You worry too much Remus; it'll be fun."

"Ellie, what's an Animagi?" Peter asked quietly.

The question seemed to bring Elise out of a trance. "An Animagus is a witch or wizard who can change into an animal, Peter. And Remus is right; it's very advanced, very dangerous, _and_ the Ministry of Magic would never approve students." She looked at James and Sirius. "You do know about the Ministry's identification and regulation of all Animagi, don't you? I looked it up after we learned about them in class. It's a very long process and they'd never let us. Besides, you'd probably get bored with it after a while."

"We most certainly would not. It's for Remus. And who says the Ministry needs to know?" James asked. Sirius nodded in agreement.

Remus shook his head in bewilderment at the audacity of the idea. Elise stood up.

"You come find me when your egos have deflated and your heads are back on your shoulders," she said irritably, stalking off.

* * *

Over the next few weeks it became apparent that Sirius and James really were set on becoming Animagi and that Elise was really not going to speak to either of them while the idea ran rampant in their heads. In other circumstances Remus might have been thrilled at the prospect of having his friends transform with him every full moon, but the task would take a long time if Sirius and James decided to follow through with it and in the mean time he was acting as go between for them as Elise was being as stubborn as they were.

The only person who seemed to be remotely happy about this new turn of events, as all parties involved in not speaking to each other were miserable and Peter was oblivious, was Lily, though she merely thought that a friendship had run its course between two very different sets of people. While she was not understanding, Elise was grateful for Lily's attempts to cheer her up. Her Hogsmead visits became more enjoyable; she hadn't really liked spending hours in Zonko's or hiding under James's Invisibility Cloak to attack unsuspecting Slytherins all that much anyway. With Lily, Alice and Jane she could go to the little bookshop or have a butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks without being there under false pretenses.

But Elise found that the prolonged absence of Sirius, James, Peter and Remus, for she still spoke to Remus but he usually went off with the others, was harder to endure than she had expected, especially since they had stopped trying to get her to talk to them again. She longed for the days when a paper bird would fly over to her desk in the middle of History of Magic.

"How's their research going?" she asked Remus one afternoon when Sirius and James were pouring through books in the library.

"Well, seems to going good. Look, why don't you talk to them? If you three carry on like this you'll never speak again. We all miss you," he said, gathering his books. "Especially Sirius. Got to go now. See you Ellie."

Elise sighed and went up to the dormitory; boys were so stupid.


	7. Follow the Butterflies

**What Life Could Have Been**

**Follow the Butterflies**

The days were much warmer and the school year was drawing to a close. With exams looming over them students enjoyed all the time they could spend in the warm weather. Elise sat with Lily, Alice and Jane out on the grass by the lake's edge; they thought it was far enough away from the other Gryffindor third years but Elise could nearly always hear what they were doing.

One Saturday, while Lily and Jane were at a Divination study group and Alice was on the Hogsmead visit with her boyfriend Frank, Elise sat halfheartedly under the big tree where she had seen Sirius, James, Remus and Peter before, but she knew they must be in the library. Her battered copy of Les Misérables kept her company on this sunny afternoon, though it turned out to serve her better as a pillow as she soon fell asleep in the sunlight.

Elise awoke to the fluttering of little wings and the tickling sensation of tiny feet crawling across her cheek. She opened her eyes to find a butterfly resting on her face and many others gliding along above her. Under closer scrutiny she saw that most of them were made from brightly colored paper and as she sat up they came to rest in her lap. Elise looked around for the source of the butterflies, which had taken flight again. She thought she heard a rustling in the branches of the big tree but there was no one there when she looked.

Puzzled, she made her way back up to the castle, trailing paper butterflies behind her. She found Sirius and James in the Common Room with their heads together over a book. They looked up momentarily when she entered and back down when she climbed the stairs to the dormitory. Elise only paused to get the butterflies off her before going back down stairs.

"See you lost your butterflies," James said.

"Yes," she replied casually, "they were very pretty but I'd prefer not to cause a scene at dinner."

"Who set them after you?" Sirius asked.

"No one. They just flew in with the normal butterflies."

James laughed. "How do you know? You were aslee—."

Sirius elbowed him in the side. Elise smiled.

"You wouldn't possibly have an Invisibility Cloak hidden under your robes, would you?"

"I, we..."

"See you at dinner."

Elise left the Common Room again, satisfied when she heard the Fat Lady's portrait open again and footsteps run after her.

"Ellie, wait! Wait!" Sirius ran after her. "I'm sorry. We didn't mean to spy on you. We didn't think you'd be asleep."

"It's okay. I liked the butterflies."

They stood in the corridor, looking at their feet.

"I'm sorry I didn't—."

"I'm sorry I wasn't—."

They both grinned and started to walk to the Great Hall.

"So, you need help with your research?" she asked.

"Well, to tell you the truth, we really do. We haven't been able to find that book you were talking about and nothing else has really helped," Sirius confessed.

"I'll see what I can do," she said, knowing she could get McGonagall to sign a slip to the restricted section.

"What would we do without you?"

"Follow the rules?" she suggested.

"Nah."

Elise took her old seat between Remus and Sirius.

Remus leaned in a whispered to her while Sirius was looking for James. "So the butterflies worked did they?"

"I was looking for an excuse. I hated not talking."

Just then James ran into the Great Hall and dove under the table between them.

"James? What the bloody hell are you doing down there?" Sirius asked, peering under the table.

"Are you daft? I'm hiding!" he whispered.

"What from?"

James peeked out from under the table, his face turning white.

"Quick! Sirius, sit. Pretend I'm not here," he begged.

Sirius sat just as Lily came storming into the Great Hall, a swarming mass of paper butterflies around her head. Sirius sniggered and even Remus had to repress a smile.

"Black! Where's Potter?" she demanded.

"No idea Evans. Last I saw he was in the Common Room," he said innocently.

She stormed out of the Great Hall again. Sirius looked under the table at James's horrified face.

"Tough luck mate. You don't seem to have quite the flair for butterflies."


	8. Friends and Family

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: Thank you all very much for the encouraging reviews. Sometimes it's hard to write but I'll keep at it as long as you want me to. Anyone finish _Deathly Hallows_ yet? **

**JKR still owns it.**

**Friends and Family**

With the weight of disagreement lifted from their shoulders, exams passed quickly for the Gryffindor third years. All too soon their trunks were packed and they were spending their last afternoon under the big tree by the lake.

"What're your plans for the summer holidays, Ellie?" Remus asked.

"Going to spend them with my family in France. You have any plans?" She was absentmindedly levitating stale Cauldron Cakes into the lake, coaxing the giant squid to the surface. James and Sirius were mildly amused; Peter thought it was brilliant.

"Probably visiting my aunt and uncle. James is having Sirius to their summer home in Devonshire, right?" He looked at Sirius, who was now throwing the Cauldron Cakes into the lake unceremoniously.

"Yeah, thanks again mate. Can't stand all my mum's pureblood rubbish. It's disgusting. And our house-elf is just as bad. I hate the lot," he grumbled, flinging a Cauldron Cake with vehemence at the inquisitive tentacles; they immediately recoiled.

Elise fixed him with an inquiring look. "Now, you can't _really_ mean that, can you? They must be okay sometimes."

James shook his head. "No, Ellie. I've met them _and_ I'm from a pureblood family. I think disgusting is the right word."

"James is just saying that 'cause he fancies Evans."

Peter got a Cauldron Cake in the face. Elise sat quietly while the boys carried on, folding and unfolding a Chocolate Frog card, her long summer holiday looming before her.

* * *

The train ride home was just as pleasant as her first, albeit with less dread before. They played Exploding Snap almost without stop: James had to take a break around lunch to attack some Slytherins who insulted Lily in the corridor and Sirius had to join in the fun as much as Peter had to watch. Elise and Remus didn't bother trying to stop them. They did see the results when they got off the train to meet their families. Elise met the Potters and got the Black family pointed out to her from across the platform.

"Sirius, I promise I won't think anything less of you if I ever meet your family," she assured him.

He shrugged and changed the subject. "Where do I send a letter to you in France?"

Elise blushed. "The Chateau de Cygne," she answered.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "A chateau?"

"My cousins. Look, pass that along to James, Remus and Peter; I'd love to hear from all of you. Have fun in Devonshire."

"You too. Come visit if you get back early."

"I promise."

She waved goodbye as she met her parents by the barrier.

"Did you have a good year?" her father asked, taking her owl from her.

"Yes. Hogwarts is great."

"When do we get to meet your new friends?" her mother asked.

"Why don't we have them round for tea when we get back?" Mr. Silvestri suggested.

"I'll write them. When are we leaving?"

"As soon as you've repacked and rested a bit. The Rémy and Lucienne said to come whenever we're ready. Philippe and Manon can't wait to see you. In the letter they said they've got a surprise for you."

Elise smiled. She would miss her new friends but her cousins would ensure her a good time as usual.


	9. A New Year

A New Year

Elise got her Hogwarts letter while at Chateau de Cygne and her school things in the neighboring wizarding village. She had received many letters from James and Sirius in Devonshire and from Remus, who was summering in Wales.

The surprise Philippe and Manon had for her was tickets to see the French National Quidditch team play China. It was a spectacular match, lasting two days with the French team winning by just thirty points and making the game all the more enjoyable for the three cousins.

A large number of people were visiting Chateau de Cygne and the children were able to make a mock Quidditch team to while away the days on the large estate, switching teams and positions almost daily. Elise put all of this in her letters and received many helpful tips from James and Sirius, who were both on the Gryffindor team.

Elise also spent many days reading in the garden to the left of the chateau, with its unicorn shaped hedges and its many marble fountains. She could never remember how this chateau had come to her cousins' family but the thought never bothered her for long. She wrote most of her letters in the Swan Pavilion at the garden's center and often fell asleep on its couches.

She was very sad to leave when the departure date arrived but the prospect of seeing her school friends again kept her sadness mostly at bay. Elise received a letter the same day inviting her to meet James, Sirius, Remus and Peter in Diagon Alley the following weekend. She agreed, excited to see them and interested to see if they had made any progress in the Animagus direction, for she had not heard a thing about it in any letter.

RULER

Elise and her parents arrived early, still needing the few items they could not get in France, such as school books and certain potion ingredients. She found them at the predestined time outside Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor.

"Sirius, if you do that to your ice cream one more time I'll hex you and it'll be worth the expulsion," she heard Remus growl. James was sitting next to him doubled over in fits of laughter.

Elise waved and a look of relief came over Remus's face, followed by a malicious one.

"Or you can show Ellie, she's standing right behind you."

Sirius gagged and sputtered, dropping his ice cream and hastily wiping his mouth as he turned in his seat.

"Hi," she said.

"Er, hi," he said. James was falling out of his chair laughing. She thought Remus's look of triumph was just as effective.

"I think you've managed to get your face the same shade as Lily's hair. What'd you think James?" she teased.

Sirius narrowed his eyes and threw his discarded ice cream at James, who finally fell off his chair. He emerged with the cone sitting perfectly atop his messy black hair and the orange ice cream dripping down his nose.

All four burst out laughing anew.

"Sirius, that's disgusting. You know where that's been."

"C'mon James, you know you liked it."

He stood up fully, wiped the ice cream out of his hair and handed the cone back to Sirius. "Next time you want to molest an ice cream, please do it in private," he said haughtily. "And your face totally matched Lily's hair mate."

"Only you would care," Sirius said, examining the ice cream cone with mock concern.

"I'll bet what you did counts as marriage in some countries," James said.

Peter sniggered, Remus rolled his eyes and Elise looked over her shoulder and waved to her parents as they emerged from Flourish and Blotts. They walked over just as Sirius and the ice cream were having a very romantic moment. Remus didn't bother kicking under the table; all three were laughing too hard.

"Did you get that book on Quidditch, Mum?" Elise asked a little too loudly.

There was a crunch as Sirius accidentally bit into the cone, eyes wide with horror. The three boys stopped laughing immediately.

"Yes. It's right here," her mother was saying as she dug into the bag of books. She handed Elise the desired book and Elise turned back to the now silent table.

"Mum, Dad, this is Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. I met them on the train at the start of term last fall," she introduced, pointing to each in turn. The four faces turned towards her parents were solemn and polite, nothing like she'd ever seen. "Right," she continued, "guys, these are my parents, Peter and Georgiana Silvestri."

'Nice to meet you' echoed from around the table.

"It's wonderful to finally meet all of you," her mother said. "Have you all had a good holiday?"

Their four heads nodded.

"Well, we'll be having a drink in the Leaky Cauldron when you've finished," her father told her. "We've got everything?"

She nodded.

"Alright then." Her parents walked past her toward the brick wall at the end of the street.

The five friends looked at each other. Sirius looked down at the jagged remains of his ice cream cone.

"'Til death do us part," he murmured.

Fortescue himself came out and asked them to leave.

RULER

"Hakes, Romy _and_ Cutter were all seventh years. We'll have three new players, not to mention a new captain," James was saying as Elise opened the compartment door. The Gryffindor boys looked up as she entered.

"Where've you been?" Remus asked.

"With Lily, Alice and Jane," she answered.

"You've seen Lily?" James asked excitedly.

"Give it a rest mate," Sirius groaned.

"I promised not to tell you what compartment she's in. Listen to Sirius; you'll see her at the feast anyway."

She sat down. "Don't let me interrupt," she told them.

"Right," James started again. "I was saying that the team'll be totally different this year so the four of us will have to whip those new three into shape right away. We don't want Slytherin to have an advantage because they've got the same players as last year," he finished.

Sirius sighed. "James, the only two things you're ever serious about are Quidditch and Lily Evans and _that's all you ever talk about!_ It'll be fine; there are plenty of good Quidditch players, all we have to do is find them."

"What positions do you need?" Elise asked.

"Two Chasers and a Beater," James answered. "And we'll have a new captain. Probably Jepson, she's seventh year."

"You afraid we'll lose the Cup?"

"Don't say that, Ellie," Sirius warned. "He's been worrying over that since last week. It's like deep down he thinks Slytherin is _better_ than us."

James gasped. "I do not!"

"_Then stop worrying!_"

Elise stood up. "I'll be right back; I have to send a quick letter."

She returned to the compartment where Lily, Alice and Jane were seated playing Gobstones.

"Want to join? We've almost finished," Jane offered.

"No thanks. I've got to write my parents. I forgot something." She took out quill, parchment and ink from her trunk and scribbled a quick note. Then she took Genevieve from her cage and gave her the note before releasing her out the window.

"Bye."

She left the compartment again.

"I don't know what she sees in them," Lily said. Jane and Alice nodded.

The conversation had turned from Quidditch to their holidays. James and Sirius were telling tales of the charming Muggle girls of Devonshire while Peter listened with rapt attention and Remus tried to read without breaking his concentration. The story was broken up before it came to its grand finale when the witch pushing the lunch trolley came by.

They spent the rest of the train ride swapping Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and Chocolate Frog cards and playing Exploding Snap. Remus informed Elise that James and Sirius had already hexed the Slytherins before she arrived in the compartment.

When they arrived at Hogwarts, everything was just as she remembered it. The carriages, the feast, the Sorting, even James chasing after Lily right before, only she supposed it was funnier now that she knew them both. Elise was quite ready for bed when she arrived in the dormitory with the other Gryffindor fourth year girls. There was a package lying on her bed when she drew back the curtains. It was the item she had sent home for: her broom. Attached was a note from her parents:

_Good luck Ellie, we know you'll do well._

_Love Mum and Dad_

She moved the broom to her trunk and tucked the note into the drawer of her bedside table before letting herself kick off her shoes and crawl into bed fully robed and ready for sleep.


	10. Qualms and Quidditch

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: I'd like to thank xforgottenxmemoriesx for informing me that James was a Chaser, not a Seeker. It's little things like that that bother me, though I don't think it will be important to the plot. Thanks again.**

**Qualms and Quidditch**

The weeks leading up to the Gryffindor Quidditch team tryouts seemed to whiz by for Elise. On the other hand they seemed to drag by for James and Sirius, who were beginning to share the same attitude towards the event due to the people they had heard talking of trying out. It was for this reason that Elise had not told them of her plan and the weight of her secret nagged at her endlessly.

Venus Jepson, the seventh year Seeker who had indeed been made the new captain, had called a meeting of the remains of the teams by the end of the first week back and it seemed that she too shared the misgivings that James and Sirius were so bothered about. Elise suspected that Venus had told them to persuade anyone they knew was a good flyer to try out because she caught James and Sirius at it all the time. And they were without much success.

She finally told Lily what she was planning and while Lily resented the idea of Quidditch she thought it was brilliant that Elise was going to show up the two most arrogant people she had ever met. Elise didn't share this sentiment but was glad of Lily's encouragement, even if it was for the wrong reasons.

"Lily, you don't know about Quidditch, how can you say I'm good?"

"I've just got a feeling. Besides, you wrote to your cousins, _they_ said you were."

"I know, but—."

"Please stop worrying, Ellie. Nothing bad ever came from trying. Go to bed or you won't be able to fly straight tomorrow."

"Okay. Good night."

* * *

Elise woke early, had a bit of toast in the Great Hall and left for the pitch. It was almost completely deserted when she arrived but Venus Jepson greeted her, inspected her broom and showed her where to wait. There were a few other early arrivals, though Elise didn't recognize them. At Venus's encouragement she flew a few laps around the field and was heartened by the good feeling it gave her. Venus was impressed too. 

"Did Black and Potter bully you in to trying out by any chance?" she asked when Elise touched down gracefully.

"No. They don't even know I'm trying out."

Venus smiled and pointed to the locker room entrance, where James and Sirius stood staring at her openmouthed. "They do now."

Sirius dropped his broom and ran over. "How long have you been planning on doing this?" he demanded.

"Lay off Black."

"No, it's okay Venus. I've been planning it since the train. Have you got a problem Sirius? I thought you wanted people who could fly to try out."

Sirius opened his mouth to say something and then thought better of it and ran back to where James was explaining what had happened to Remus and Peter. A tall, broad shouldered sandy-haired boy joined Venus as they watched the spectacle that was James and Sirius.

"Aspen Locke, Keeper," he said, extending a hand. Elise shook it.

"I haven't tried out yet, you know."

"Yeah, but I saw how Black and Potter reacted. I'm sure you're great."

There was now a sizable group waiting for Venus to start tryouts. She blew her whistle to get James and Sirius's attention. They broke off their conversation with Remus and Peter, who went to watch in the stands, and joined Venus and Aspen. Elise left to wait with the others.

"I don't know what's wrong with you two but I don't want any more nonsense. We'll try out the Chasers first, but I want everyone to fly three laps around the field just to make sure they can. Locke, Black, and Potter will play normal positions and I will be a Chaser with Potter. We'll try to get the Quaffle away from each person. Let's say five goals in ten minutes?" The group nodded. "Good."

Venus turned and addressed the waiting group. "All wishing to try out for the position of Chaser please form a group to the left, Beaters to the right. Chasers will be first. Please get into groups of three."

Venus directed the groups to fly three laps around the field. She judged the flyers against each other and some groups were eliminated all together. Of the original twenty-two who had separated into the Chaser group there were eight left.

"Venus is brutal," James whispered to Sirius as they got out the ball box.

"Yeah, but that's why we win, isn't it?"

James nodded. "Ellie's pretty good, why're you so bent up?"

Sirius ignored him as he wrestled a Bludger out of the box. Venus gave him a thumbs up and he let it go, jumping on his broom and grabbing his Beater's bat from James.

"Take it easy on them," James called. Sirius grinned and flew off down the pitch after the Bludger.

The trials for the two Chasers went very well, four of the eight made their five goals in ten minutes; three made six. It was between them that Venus chose the two that would stay. A fifth-year, Thomas Coltridge, had the fastest time, and Elise was thirty seconds behind him.

"Congratulations," Venus said, shaking hands with each of them. "We'll be having a brief meeting after the Beater tryout, if you can just wait in the stands."

Elise joined Remus and Peter in the stands, a large smile on her face.

"Wow, that was awesome, Ellie," Peter marveled.

"Thanks," she replied.

"Yeah, James and Sirius might lose some of that hot air now," Remus smirked. "I'm no expert Ellie, but that was some pretty neat flying."

She blushed. "Let's watch the Beaters."

The Beaters took much less time and soon Venus was thanking everyone for trying out and Elise and Thomas made their way back down to the pitch.

"You better not make this a problem, Black," Venus said, as the three new players made their way over.

"What?"

"Oh please, you're practically as bad as Potter is over Lily Evans."

James snorted. Sirius flushed pink for a moment before retorting. "If you're saying I fancy...Silvestri, I'll have you know I'm going with Lucy Clearwater. So you don't have to worry."

Venus rolled her eyes and Aspen and James sharing a knowing look before turning to congratulate their new teammates.

"That was brilliant flying, Ellie. I liked how you didn't _try_ to show off; James still hasn't figured that bit out yet."

James kicked Sirius in the shins before giving out his own congratulations.

Apart from Thomas and herself, the third new player on the team was a third year called Rosemary Hart, who had particularly good aim and a few clever tricks that Sirius had been very impressed with. Venus set a meeting for Wednesday in two weeks time and assigned lockers and put in the orders for new Quidditch robes.

Elise watched Sirius carefully as they walked back to the castle, talking of the different moves they had seen and what they thought of Coltridge and Hart. When they entered the Great Hall for dinner, Sirius went off towards the Ravenclaw table. The rest sat down in their usual spots, saving Sirius his.

"James, where did he go?" Elise asked. She couldn't recall Sirius ever going to the Ravenclaw table before.

"Oh, he's done it once or twice so far. You were probably too worried about Quidditch," she smiled at this, "but he's going with Lucy Clearwater, a fourth year in Ravenclaw. But I wouldn't pay him too much mind right now." James laughed. "He's just trying to prove to Venus that—." James stopped. _That he doesn't fancy you, _he thought. "That he's not as hopeless at inter-house friendship as he seems to be. Funny thing about Venus, she's very competitive but she thinks Sirius and I go about it the wrong way, hexing Slytherins." He shrugged and served himself some potatoes.

"She's right about that. You shouldn't hex Slytherins just for fun. Sirius's brother is a Slytherin and—."

"And a git. They're all gits; don't listen to what anyone tells you Ellie. They all turn out bad in the end."

"Who's a git?" Sirius asked, sitting down next to Elise as usual.

"Regulus."

"Yep, he's a git."

The conversation continued like this for the rest of the meal. Elise kept craning her neck to see if she could glimpse Lucy Clearwater but no Ravenclaws were looking their direction and she felt she was being a bit too obvious so she listened halfheartedly to exactly why Lucius Malfoy was appealing to Sirius's cousin Narcissa. The reason, it turned out, was because they were both pureblood scum who thought the rest of the world was beneath them. 'A match made in hell,' as Sirius put it.

* * *

The prolonged presence of Lucy Clearwater bothered Elise more than she tried to let on. She was a perfectly agreeable person but Elise simply could not stand her, especially the way she laughed at _everything_ James and Sirius said, which only encouraged them. 

Lily, Alice and Jane were only too happy to have her spending more time with them and they were well past gloating as they had done last year; if Elise was determined to try with the thick headed imbeciles in their year who called themselves Gryffindors then they'd let her try all she wanted and pick up the pieces when something went wrong. Elise thought this was the wrong way to deal with the boys but as they were currently doing exactly as Lily said they would, she politely ignored them.

"Why don't you just say something to him?" Lily asked.

"About what?"

"Lucy Clearwater. It's obvious you don't like her."

"Of course I don't like her. Do you?"

"I don't really know her."

Elise sighed. She couldn't explain to Lily what she didn't like about Lucy; Lily thought James and Sirius were the scum of the earth.

"Well, how's Quidditch practice going?" Lily asked to change the subject.

Elise groaned. "Well, she turns up there too. It's ridiculous. At least Venus is happy." She got up off her bed. "I'm going to go read in the Common Room for a while," she said picking up Les Misérables.

"Do you ever read anything else?"

"Yes, but this is my favorite. Can't say why. See you at dinner."

Elise took her favorite chair by the fire and opened her book to the marked spot. She had only read a few pages when the portrait opened and James and Sirius came in, arguing in low voices.

"Sirius, I can't stand her. Just drop her, you don't even like her."

"I like her fine, you're just jealous because I've got a girl and Evans still looks at you like you're some dead animal a dog dragged in."

"Stop denying it Sirius. This is just like last year. She hurt your ego and now you're both being stubborn."

"My ego's just fine."

"No, that's just your Black family blood. You say you're different from them but you've got the same haughty attitude."

Elise was shocked that James would say that to Sirius. She assumed it was Sirius who stormed up the stairs to the boys' dormitory but when she looked neither boy was still in the Common Room. She left for the library where she found Remus doing his homework, away from the drama in Gryffindor Tower.

"Remus, how'd this go all wrong?" she asked weakly, sitting across from him.

"James heard Lucy making a comment about the practices she's come to, and her friend just happened to be a Ravenclaw Chaser. James lost it and Sirius is still defending Lucy. Those two love Quidditch more than life, it's ridiculous."

"Huh."

If Lucy Clearwater was talking to her friends about the Gryffindor Quidditch practices than her relationship with Sirius wasn't likely to last.

"I'll see you at dinner, Remus," she said, getting up. She knew it wouldn't last.


	11. Christmas

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: Last update that I can gaurantee until next week, but I'll keep writing while on vacation.**

**Christmas**

James's worries were for nothing when Gryffindor crushed Ravenclaw in November. To Elise's dismay this meant that Lucy Clearwater stuck around, though she sensed a change in Sirius, as little time as she spent with him.

James invited her to have a Butterbeer with them in the Three Broomsticks on the last Hogsmead visit before holidays. She had plans with Lily, Alice and Jane but she told him she's try to make it. The girls finished their Christmas shopping early and Elise bid them farewell and headed for the warmth of the tavern. When she looked the window she saw James, Remus and Peter sitting at a table, Butterbeer in their hands and gloomy expressions on their faces. She went inside and sat down in the fourth chair.

"Where's Sirius?" she asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Madam Puddifoot's," James said with disgust. "Lovely Lucy's going home for Christmas so she wanted to go there with him instead. How'd your shopping go?"

"Great," she said, glad to change the subject. She showed them the gifts for her parents and her cousins at Chateau de Cygne. When the weather outside turned worse they gathered their cloaks and trudged back to the castle.

Sirius pulled the door of the Three Broomsticks shut against the howling wind. He looked around the busy tavern for his friends; he was only a half hour late, they should still be inside.

"Your friends just left, Mr. Black," Madam Rosemerta said from the bar. "The weather's getting bad, you should probably go too."

Sirius uttered a thanks before pulling his cloak back around him and returning to the cold December weather outside.

* * *

Elise woke to an empty dormitory the next morning; the other three girls usually went home for the Christmas holidays. She pulled on her dressing gown against the cold and began to unwrap her presents. Remus had gotten her a beautiful new copy of Les Misérables and James a book of Quidditch moves by the most famous Chasers to play for England, Ireland and Scotland. At first she was surprised to not find one from Sirius right on top, but she figured he was still angry at her for something and she'd find something small on the bottom. When she was down to a single card, Elise began to feel quite hurt. She had been sure that no matter what she had inadvertently done he could have forgiven her by now.

She pulled the festive tab on the envelope and it burst into tiny snowflakes, covering her lap and the bed around her in fake snow. In place of the envelope she now held a tiny packet made of gold paper. Elise opened the packet and a necklace fell into her snow covered lap; the gold paper folded itself into a butterfly and flew in lazy circles around her head. She grinned and examined the necklace. Attached to the gold chain was a gold broomstick pendant with a tiny ruby Quaffle. Elise knew exactly what it all meant. She put on the necklace, extracted Remus's book from the pile on her bed and ran down the stairs to the empty Common Room, grabbing her favorite seat by the fire.

No one else was awake by the time James, Sirius, Remus and Peter returned from the kitchens with a Christmas feast. Elise abandoned all rehearsed forms of apology and threw her arms around Sirius when he had put his load of Christmas pudding down.

"Er, Happy Christmas, Ellie. You liked your present then?" he said awkwardly. She could see James smirking behind his shoulder.

"Yes," she beamed.

"Good." He sounded relieved. "Hungry?"

She nodded and they sat down to the feast pilfered from the kitchens. Elise knew everything between them was okay. After all, she knew how difficult it would have been for him to apologize in front of James, and she really did like the butterfly.

* * *

They had snowball fights almost every day for the rest of the holidays, and when it was too cold they played Exploding Snap. Sirius had a great desire to remain busy; Elise guessed he was dreading the Lucy Clearwater backfire when she returned after Christmas.

Many mornings she would wake up to find the Common Room empty of her friends and they would not return until after lunchtime. It wasn't that Elise minded especially, she had many long talks with Venus about the tactics in the book she had received from James; it was the secrecy that bothered her. She knew they would let her in on it eventually. On one of the last days of break her wish came true, but it wasn't what she had been expecting at all.

"Ellie! Ellie, come down here!" Sirius called one morning.

"What is it?" she asked sleepily.

"Ellie, we've done it! We've figured out how to become Animagi."


	12. Mischief Managed

**What Life Could Have Been**

**Mischief Managed**

"Sirius, I've already told you. I'm not going to do it. Besides, when are you going to find the time? The process will take a while, as you've just explained to me."

"Well, we we've started already. And we have OWLs next year; you don't expect us to do it then."

"What does Remus think of all this?"

"He thinks it's stupid, just like you do."

"Why won't you listen to us then?"

"Ellie, you're not changing our minds. Even Pete wants to do it."

"Peter worships the ground you walk on."

"Never mind all that. I didn't come to ask you to help us on that. I came to ask you to help us on _this_," he said, pulling out a sheaf of parchment and handing it to her.

Elise flipped through the parchment. "Sirius, what is this rubbish?"

"_This_ is what I want your help on." He tapped the parchment and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Ink spread across the page in Sirius's handwriting.

"'_The Marauders' Map_'? Sirius, stop being so cryptic."

"It's a map, Ellie. We're not very far yet and, well, you are very good at these sort of things aren't you."

"What do you mean 'these sort of things'?"

Sirius sighed. "Fine, I'll stop being 'cryptic'. We'd like it if you'd help us with it. This map. You're ace at Ancient Runes and Arithmancy and you don't have our reputation, so…"

"_So_," she prompted.

"So you can investigate and snoop around without getting in trouble?"

She raised an eyebrow.

Sirius sighed. "And you could get signed notes for the Restricted Section?"

"Sirius, what exactly is the purpose of this map?"

Sirius explained all that he and James had planned. Elise was impressed by the bits of magic they had already worked on the parchment, and even more impressed by the idea of the finished project.

"So, you'll be able to see _everyone_ in Hogwarts and where they are? And the map won't lie? Even if you use Polyjuice Potion? And you know how to do all this?"

"I'm deeply hurt Ellie, deeply. You and Remus aren't the only ones with brains."

"Right, we just apply ourselves."

"Hey!"

"Quidditch doesn't count."

Sirius pouted. "You girls are horrible at taking compliments. You know, it's not an easy thing to do. I should count myself lucky you don't react like Evans."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" she asked angrily, standing up.

"I don't know why I bothered asking," he replied, tapping the parchment and saying "Mischief Managed."

Elise scowled and left the library. She had just said the password and was about to storm up to her dormitory when James came down from the boys' staircase dressed for Quidditch practice. Elise saw him and swore before running up the staircase to change.

"Where's Sirius?" James called after her.

But she didn't reply. Sirius trudged in moments later.

"Oh, what have you said to her this time?"

He threw up his hands. "James, I just can't say anything without hitting a nerve. I don't know what it is. I'm through with Clearwater and I complimented her skill in Ancient Runes and Arithmancy. I guess she doesn't approve of this map business either. I think Evans has had a bad effect on her."

James ignored his last comment. "Well, don't go about it like last time. Don't bring up the map again and don't say anything stupid. Especially during practice, Venus'll flip."

"Practice!" Sirius ran up the stairs to change.

* * *

The rain and the mud did not improve anyone's foul mood as they left the Quidditch pitch. Venus was somehow attuned to Elise and Sirius's little spat and she took it out on both of them.

"Which obviously didn't help them make up," James finished telling Remus, who shook his head. "Has anyone else ever been _more_ obvious?" he wondered aloud.

"Well, you are about Evans."

"Shut up."

Sirius's lapse in interest about the map and lack of witty, charming phrases meant that Elise didn't _completely_ ignore him. She spoke to him about homework and Quidditch and trivial things like headlines in the Prophet but otherwise she kept her nose in a book and her eyes downcast to avoid sharing any awkward glances.

When James's assessment of their argument was down from a ten to a three Sirius decided to breach the subject of the map again, only much more tactfully so. He spent a whole study session planning what to say. Onlookers were shocked by the intensity of his concentration.

Sirius found Elise in the library, books and parchment spread out around her; she had taken to doing her homework in the library lately. He cleared his throat discreetly. She looked up, eyes questioning.

"What do you want Sirius?" she asked. He was relieved not to hear an angry edge in her voice.

He sat down next to her and she closed her book to look at him. Sirius was taken aback at her attention but stumbled on nonetheless.

"Erm, well, first of all I'd like to apologize for being so tactless. And then I'd like to beg you to speak to me again and to help us on the map."

Elise stared at him. "Just like that?"

"Er…yes?"

"Are you feeling quite all right Sirius? You _never_ speak to me plainly," she said, crossing her arms.

"Oh, Ellie, please don't be mad. I'm trying to _not_ be a prat, if you can believe it."

She smiled. "Okay then. Yes."

Sirius grinned. "Great. Can I help you finish this?" he asked, pulling a book towards himself. He frowned as he flipped through the book. "Ellie, what exactly is this?"

But she didn't need to answer him. At that moment he pulled out the piece of parchment that Elise had been working on. Expecting to find an essay on Summoning Charms, or something similar, his eyes widened at the drawings crammed onto the frequently folded sheet. Sirius couldn't seem to find the right words; he just stared at her.

"Really Sirius, you should count yourself lucky I don't react like Lily. Stop gawking at me."

"But this is Hogwarts!"

"Yes."

"And you weren't talking to me!"

"Yes."

"I don't get it."

"I'm trying to not be stubborn and take compliments. And it did seem like a very interesting bit of magic."

"…"

She patted his arm. "Mischief managed."


	13. Summer

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: Sorry updates take so long. Enjoy.**

**Summer**

Elise's parents were worried. Their daughter barely came down from her room at the Chateau de Cygne, and when she wasn't up there she very nearly disappeared. They were relieved that she still showed interest in Quidditch and still played with her cousins. She showed no signs of illness or homesickness; once they asked her if she missed her school friends and didn't want to stay any longer but she told them she was perfectly content to stay in France. What her parents didn't know was that the contents of her trunk didn't consist of school books but books on Hogwarts and magical maps, that she was doing magic in secret in a castle full of wizards (and therefore was unlikely to be detected) and that Sirius Black had given her one of his two-way mirrors.

James, Remus, and Peter were experiencing similar difficulties with Sirius. The four were spending the summer with James's family in Devonshire, as Sirius had done before. They wrote Elise regularly about their progress towards becoming illegal teenaged Animagi. Their biggest breakthrough had come mid-July when Sirius had successfully transformed into a big black dog, though it had taken hours to get him back as he could not keep his wits about him and ran into the forest chasing squirrels. The letter containing this news had been a huge source of amusement to Elise. Sometimes she wondered if joining them in their crazy endeavors would be worth it, but the voice of reason at the back of her mind always spoke up when she wandered down this road and talked her out of it.

The mirror was no secret in Devonshire. All four boys wanted to hear about the progress on the map. After all, the use of illegal magic is an immensely exciting pastime. She could spend hours talking over little technicalities with Remus, who despite his involuntary urge to follow rules, was also very interested in James and Sirius's little piece of magic. Elise could hear Sirius grumble in the background whenever they would have these talks. She couldn't help but smile, or roll her eyes.

"Hang on Ellie, they're at it again."

Remus's face disappeared and Elise was left with a palm-size view of James's ceiling. She sighed. It was typical for things like this to occur; especially when Remus was "hogging the mirror."

" 'ello love! Whass a pretty thing like you doin' starin' out of a newspaper?"

Elise spat out her pumpkin juice. She picked up the mirror and shielded it from the bright midday sun; a scruffy, scarred face leered at her, winking at her expression of shock.

"Whass a matter dearie?"

Elise scowled. "What did you do to Remus?"

"Remus? Oh, ye mean that mutinous little git "Professor" Lupin? Threatenin' te spoil our fun? 'e's coolin' 'is heels in the brig, love."

"More like the rigging," a voice grumbled from behind the grinning pirate. Another voice sniggered and was silenced.

Elise sighed. "I see you're busy with mutineers so I'll let you get on with it then. Goodb—."

"Elise, make him let me down!" came Remus's muffled voice.

The look Elise gave Sirius would have made Professor McGonagall proud, because, obviously the pirate was Sirius.

"Sirius Black, what the hell are you doing?"

"Piratin', love."

"Stop calling me that. And let Remus go. Why are you dressed like that anyway?"

Sirius sighed. He disappeared for a moment and reappeared as the cocky, grinning boy she knew. Elise's severe look did not disappear. She raised her voice. "James, get Remus down and then remove him, yourself and Peter from the room. Please."

There were many hushed voices and sniggers before the door shut.

"Sorry. It was too good an opportunity, I couldn't pass it up."

"But why pirates?" Elise asked.

"I like pirates. Besides, _marauders_ are kinda like pirates, don't you think?"

"You weren't showing off to the Muggle girls, were you?"

"No."

"Yes, he was!"

"You were too."

"So?"

"Expelliarmus."

"Ow!"

Elise sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Why don't you just write me?"

"This is more fun."

She smiled.

"How's the map coming?"

"Great. Though, obviously I can't make it work completely until we're back at school."

"Why's that?"

"Because we don't have a complete map for one, and I can't do the spell unless we're in the castle. It only works at the specific location, I've told you this many times."

"Have you tried it out?"

"Yes. I made a little one of my tower room here. I can tell when my parents are coming up the stairs and I have to hide everything. It's quite useful."

"Can I see?"

"I'll show you at Florean Fortescue's on the twenty-second. That work for you?"

"Of course."

"Will you please give Remus a break when he's helping me?"

"Possibly."

"Sirius?"

He winked. "One last thing then?"

"Okay."

"Will ye jolly me roger? Eh?"

Elise frowned. "Goodbye Sirius Black."

The mirror went blank.

"Pirates, honestly."

* * *

"That was pathetic Padfoot."

"No more pathetic than you are, mate. Least she talks to me."

James scoffed. "You are so blind."

"Say what you like Prongs."

Remus sighed. "You're both pathetic, now let me down. And go get Wormtail out of the longboat."

* * *

"Thank Merlin you're here Ellie. I can't stand these idiots for a moment longer," Remus said, sitting down across from her outside Florean Fortescue's.

"Where are they?" she asked.

"Hexing Snape, I think. You'd think with all the negative energy they put towards him, they would come up with something more creative. Not that I think they should," he added.

"So, apart from being marooned, how was your summer?"

"Great, I got to deal with three budding Animagi. I don't know why we didn't talk them out of it."

"Because I didn't want to hate them for the rest of my life. C'mon Remus, don't you think it'll make your transformations more enjoyable?"

"Ellie, if you only knew what you were talking about..."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean it like that."

Elise changed the subject. "I'll show you the map of my tower room. It worked while I was there so I'm pretty sure I can use the same spell at school. Of course, we've got a lot more snooping around to do. Think James and Sirius can stay out of detention?"

"Can goblins write sonnets?"

"Good point." She dug into her purse and pulled out what resembled an old scrap of parchment. She held it out to Remus who studied the calligraphy and the runes, while nodding thoughtfully.

"Ellie, this is very good. But there's no one in the room."

"I've thought of that already. I sent an owl to my cousin this morning, asking if I left my Potions book in my room. She should be checking any moment, if I timed the owl right."

Remus went to the counter and ordered them both butterbeer floats; by the time he returned Elise's cousin Manon was rummaging around the room, labeled by a little black dot.

"Ellie, this is brilliant."

"What's brilliant?" James asked, sitting down next to Remus and taking the parchment. His untidy black hair was cropped much shorter than usual.

"What happened to your hair?" she asked, trying not to giggle.

"All in the process of becoming an Animagi," he said loftily.

"Which means we had to chop it off because he couldn't get all the antlers to go away," Sirius said, arriving with Peter and their ice creams. He was sporting some fading bruises on his arms and Peter's looked a lot like hoof prints. Sirius saw her looks and added, "Prongs is a deer with a rather short attention span."

"Meaning," Remus said, "That James hasn't really been himself for long after he's transformed. It's rather funny really. I hope Lily won't be jealous."

Elise looked from Remus and Sirius to James whose cheeks matched the cherry on top of his sundae. "Nothing happened," he muttered.

"Only because we caught you in time."

"Yeah, well, Sirius chases squirrels every time he changes into Padfoot."

"Hey! It's fun. Besides, I do it by choice now," he said, flicking a pecan at James.

"This is all very entertaining, but why don't you take a look at this map before my cousin decides that my Potions book is in my trunk where I left it." She passed the scrap of parchment around the table.

"You never did answer my question Ells," Sirius said.

Elise raised her eyebrows at the new variation of her name.

"Sorry, Ellie. I've spent too much time around James. But you never did answer my question."

She scoffed. "Sirius, I'm sure you know the answer to that question," she began, but upon seeing the look on his face, she continued, "and I'm sorry to disappoint you. Maybe some other time."

"I'll hold you to that you know."

Elise remained silent as she weighed the consequences of her responses. She had never wanted to wipe that sarcastic grin off of Sirius's face more in her life. The other three occupants of the table watched them with interest. James cleared his throat and pointed at the map, "This is great magic Ellie."

"Yeah, it's brilliant," Peter chimed in.

"Thanks, it wasn't easy though." She grabbed the change in topic and hung on. "And I'm going to need a full map of the castle before I can perform the spells, so as much as I know you enjoy detentions, I'm sure with the snooping you'll be doing and the work on your transformations, you won't have much extra time to hex Slytherins, et cetera," she finished.

"Thanks Mum," James muttered. Sirius elbowed him in the ribs.

Elise sighed. "So?"

"Ellie, if you can accomplish what I've been trying to do for years, I'll be forever in your debt," Remus said. She couldn't tell if he was making fun of her or if he was serious.

"Alright, fine. Have it your way. I'll see you on the train," she said, grabbing her things and stalking off.

"This is going to be a _great_ year," Sirius mused.

His hair remained sticky from the butter beer float for weeks to come.


	14. Midnight Wandering

**What Life Could Have Been**

**Midnight Wandering**

Elise was sprawled across an armchair by the fire, Arithmancy book slipping from her grasp as she slept. The fifth years had been experiencing a larger homework load than ever before and even her valiant attempts to get ahead were being foiled by the human need to sleep. The book's loud thud wasn't enough to wake her, but the shadow that sniffed her fingers, planted its big, black paws on her collarbone and licked her repeated in the face certainly was. Her eyes snapped open but before she could scream the dog transformed in one fluid movement to Sirius, who grinned down at her and raised a finger to her lips.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Sirius?" she whispered.

"Well, showing off I suppose."

"Good answer. Please remove your hands."

"Oh. Sorry." He climbed off her and sat on the floor, brushing dog hair from his pajamas. Elise scowled down at him.

"What? You can't exactly accuse me of interrupting your studying, now can you?"

She said nothing.

"Oh, c'mon Ellie. Is there ever going to be a time when you're _not_ mad at me? Because sometimes I get this funny impression that we're pretty good friends."

"Sirius, that's not fair. You just assaulted me as a dog, how am I supposed to find this amusing?"

"Maybe you're in denial."

"What did you really come down here for?"

"I thought you'd never ask. I've got something to show you." He jumped up, ran to the staircase and came back with the Invisibility Cloak. "C'mon, up you get."

"Sirius, are we sneaking out?"

"Of course, but I promise you that it's worth it."

"..."

"Don't look at me like that, you might grow up to be McGonagall."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise. Think of it as a date if you like."

"Sirius, remember that you _are_ trying to convince me, not the other way around."

"Let's just go," he said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her under the cloak and towards the portrait hole.

"This had better be good."

* * *

"You dragged me out of bed to look at the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy and the trolls?! Sirius, I can't even decide which hex I want to use on you right now."

"Ellie, calm down. I haven't shown you the best part yet. Close your eyes and hold on to my arm."

Her glare would have made McGonagall proud. Elise kept her eyes closed but she could tell they were just walking up and down the corridor. Sirius went slowly so she wouldn't trip and when he stopped and told her to open her eyes they were in front of the same tapestry. Before she could protest Sirius turned her around. Where the wall had been there was a large door.

"Where are we?" she whispered.

"Open the door Ellie," he replied.

They moved across the hallway and she slowly stretched a hand through the cloak and pushed on the heavy, wooden door. It swung open silently and Sirius pulled her inside. Elise gasped. They were in a large room, and definitely still in the castle but trees and flowers grew from the floor and instead of the ceiling there was the starlit night sky; dewy grass carpeted the floor. Moonlight shone through the branches of a large oak. She slid out from under the cloak and ran into the center of the room, all anger and misgivings forgotten. Sirius folded the cloak and followed.

"Sirius, this place is beautiful. Where are we?"

"I wanted it to become something you'd be impressed by so that's what it became."

"What do you mean?"

"This place becomes whatever you need it to be." You were cross with me so I just thought 'I need somewhere to impress Ellie' and it turned into this forest room."

"It's beautiful." Elise lay down on the dew covered grass.

"I found it when I needed to hide from Filch. It turned into a little room with a Foe Glass and about a hundred magical locks on the door. Obviously, Filch never found me, lousy Squib."

"It's fascinating. What's it called?" she asked dreamily.

"The house elves call it the Come and Go Room, but it's also called the Room of Requirement. Most people don't know when they've found it and they can't find it again when they go looking for it," he said, sitting next to her.

They watched the stars in silence.

"You know, I don't think we're going to be able to put this room on the map," Elise said after a while.

"Yeah."

"Sirius?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"Anything for you Ellie."

Sirius put the folded up cloak under her head as she fell asleep. He curled up as Padfoot beside her.

* * *

Elise woke in her chair by the fire, sunlight streaming in through the Common Room windows. The Common Room was nearly empty; it was a Hogsmeade weekend and no one wanted to be caught studying. She yawned and stood up. A folded piece of parchment fell to the floor. She picked it up and read it.

_Meet me in the library when you wake up sleepyhead. Sirius_

* * *

A few days after they had visited the Room of Requirement, Sirius slipped Elise a note during passing period. This note said: _Common Room at midnight. _When she tried to ask him about it he pretended he didn't know what she was talking about.

"You don't want the others to know, do you?" she asked as they walked through the dark corridors.

"What's wrong with that? Can't we have some secrets?""

"I suppose. But you never told me where we're going."

"Another empty space on the map. It'll be worth it."

They walked much farther than they had the previous time, going down many floors from Gryffindor Tower. Finally Sirius stopped her. Elise had no idea where they were.

"Sirius, I have a bad feeling about this."

"Close your eyes."

They walked a little farther before she heard him give a password. Sirius took her hand and led her inside the new place.

"Okay, open."

There were no windows in this room. It had a high vaulted ceiling and what wasn't black was draped in green and silver. Serpents adorned everything from chair legs to the chandelier.

"Sirius, why would you bring me here?!" she whispered harshly.

"So you can map it."

"What!"

"Here, do it quick." He pulled out the Marauder's Map and opened it to the dungeons.

"Why couldn't you do it yourself? I don't want to be here."

"Don't be afraid. I know enough hexes for the whole house."

"That's not what I meant." She dug into her robes for her wand. "Give me the map."

They moved into the center of the room. Elise crouched down and whispered the spells quickly over the map. Ink lines spread from where her wand touched the parchment, labeling the Slytherin Common Room and the dormitories.

"Are you satisfied?" she hissed.

"Just a minute." Sirius moved them to the entrance of the dormitories and aimed a hex at ankle level. "That'll be fun in the morning."

"We're going now!"

"Okay, okay."

They walked in silence back up to Gryffindor Tower.

"Ellie?"

"What?" She paused on the stairs to the girls' dormitory.

"Want to do Ravenclaw tomorrow?"

"Goodnight Sirius."

* * *

Elise continued to get little notes from Sirius when he had found some place particularly interesting and they would go out in the cloak in the middle of the night. The map had doubled in size by Christmas when Sirius finally told the others what they had been up to. James was both jealous and excited at the same time and Remus was horrified that they had gone out all those nights. Peter was in awe as usual.

During the holidays they were able to wander the school during the day and work on some of the finer details, like handwriting, in the warm, inviting Common Room devoid of other students. Most important of all, James, Sirius and Peter were able to spend hours fine tuning their Animagus forms while Elise and Remus worked on said details. They even managed to get all their homework done. It was a wonderful Christmas.


	15. OWLs

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: Sorry it takes me so long to finish a chapter but here's a nice long one. **

**OWLs**

The long period of undisturbed work on the Marauder's Map and the Animagi forms meant that all parties involved had a hard time getting their heads out of the clouds and preparing for the OWL exams that were fast approaching. Of course, all the extra charm work Elise had put into the map meant that she could now achieve an O on occasion in Charms but even her attention was elsewhere. Most often on the night Sirius had taken her to the Room of Requirement. It took all of her concentration to get through the mountains of homework they were being assigned daily. She received many suspicious looks from Lily every time she asked her for help, not to mention many disapproving looks every time she would laugh during a lesson. Professor McGonagall suggested she see Madam Pomfrey for an anti-anxiety potion.

"Ellie, I think we've had a bad influence on you," Sirius said to her one day when McGonagall had finally gotten fed up with them and assigned both Elise and Sirius detention.

"What do you mean? A little detention never hurt anyone."

"I can't believe you're not upset. Elise, you _never_ get detention."

"So?"

"Never mind. You've spelled 'disruptive' wrong again."

"Shut up."

* * *

An evening doing lines will straighten anyone out and the detention did indeed serve its purpose. Elise had enjoyed being distracted from the grueling test preparations but she knew that eventually it had to end. It was Sirius who made her a study schedule and vowed to make sure she passed her OWLs. Of course, he was not the best example to follow.

"You said what to McGonagall?" Remus asked, horrified.

"Well, she asked me about career choices and I told her that my uncle left me loads of money so I didn't really have to worry about it."

"And she didn't hex you?"

"Of course not."

"She gave him three detentions for being impertinent," James informed them.

Elise laughed. "Did she really say that?"

"Actually, she was much more eloquent," Sirius grimaced.

"Did you ever give her a real answer?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, but it's not like it matters."

"Yeah, you've got loads of money, right?"

"No, I'm ace at everything."

* * *

By the time the OWLs arrived Remus had had to go to the Hospital Wing, James and Sirius had received at least a weeks worth of detentions and Peter had reduced his Charms book to ashes. Elise did most of her studying with Lily, Alice and Jane to discourage any other disturbances of this kind. To her chagrin Lily made her get help from Snape because her Potions grade remained immobile at an A. James and Sirius were horrified when she told them. Horrified until Remus told them that he had asked Snape for help as well. It was all sorted out when they hexed him after Herbology. Lily was livid.

"Lily, leave me alone. It was not my fault. I never encourage them to hex people, you know that," Elise groaned.

"Yes, but they like to show off in front of you. If you let them know how stupid it is then maybe they'd stop," Lily persisted.

"They'd show off even if they'd never met me. You know that."

"I do, and I also know that Sirius Black would do anything you asked him to."

Elise blushed. "No he wouldn't. Not if it involved _not_ hexing Slytherins."

"It depends on what's at stake."

Elise gasped. "I'll not snub them because _you're _angry. Do it yourself."

"I _do_ snub them and it makes James even more persistent."

"Then I suggest you reconsider your tactics. Besides, it's your friendship with Snape that makes James so jealous in the first place."

"What makes James so jealous in the first place?" Sirius asked, popping out from behind a bookshelf.

"Go away Black, we weren't talking to you," Lily snapped.

"So sorry, but I need to consult Ellie on a most important matter."

"Well, I'm sure she'll find you when we're finished."

"You can't just monopolize someone's time like that, Evans."

"I can answer for my self, thank you. Lily, I'll be back in five minutes. I'm sure we can sacrifice that much," she said, getting up. "Alright, what do you want Sirius?"

"Come over here," he said, leading her to the shelves containing books on the Goblin Wars.

"Why do we have to talk here?" she asked, picking cobwebs from her hair and dusting off a place to sit.

"Eavesdroppers."

"Okay, I'm listening."

"Well, I've been thinking that you should get credit for the Map. I mean, it's got all of_ us_ on it but _you're_ the one who figured all the spells out."

Elise smiled. "That's sweet of you. But I don't have a pseudonym like Padfoot, and it was you and James who thought of it. It's fine Sirius."

Sirius wouldn't give up that easy. "Go finish studying for History of Magic with Lily. I'll surprise you," he grinned and left.

"You always do," Elise sighed and returned to her study session.

* * *

Depending on who you talked to, the OWLs were classified from anywhere to a near death experience, to a waste of time better spent practicing Quidditch, to a completely necessary cliff that needed to be climbed on the journey to the top. Elise found them to be simply annoying. Annoying because when she wasn't sitting a test, she was studying for the next one. Annoying because Lily and Remus were constantly obsessing and agonizing over every question after an exam. Annoying because James and Sirius hardly picked up a textbook or bothered to practice a spell and still finished each exam early. Annoying because it was beautiful outside.

"Don't be so cross, there's only a few left," Sirius said after she snapped at him for disrupting her reading.

"We don't all have loads of money from dead uncles. You know I need to work extra on Potions."

"You could always marry some rich bloke, then you're marks wouldn't matter. And don't forget about the benefits of stirring counter-clockwise."

"Thanks. Why do you think I'd _plan_ on marrying rich? That's absurd. Please, let me study, I'm sure you'd get more satisfaction bothering Lily, negative attention and all."

"Whatever you say Ellie. Remember, counter-clockwise stirring."

* * *

Elise sighed in relief as time was called and she could finally set down her quill. Until the written exam, Defense Against the Dark Arts had been one of her favorite classes; now it was tedious busywork. The werewolf question had been a relief and she couldn't wait to ask Remus what he thought. She gathered her things and followed the throng of eager fifth-years out of the Great Hall and onto the warm sunlit grounds. Elise broke away from the crowd to follow James, Sirius, Remus and Peter to their favorite tree by the lake when Lily grabbed her arm.

"What is it Lily?" she asked. Lily looked quite distraught.

"Oh, Ellie, what did you write for questions three and four? I just know I botched them both and I need good marks in this OWL." She wrung her hands anxiously.

"But the exam is over, it doesn't matter now."

"Oh, please, just reassure me."

"Alright." Elise followed Lily in a different direction to where it seemed a bunch of other girls were discussing the exam.

After a few minutes of incessant nervous twittering, Elise couldn't help but sigh in frustration. She saw Sirius looking over at them and James's constant ruffling of his messy hair. It was pathetic.

"That's pathetic," Lily said. She too had been absently watching the sad excuse at long distance flirtation.

"Never mind them Lily, what did you want to know about number four?" Elise asked, trying to distract her.

"Well, it was something about Inferi, wasn't it...oh no!" She was still watching the shameless display of male hormones, but unfortunately Severus Snape had strayed into what any enemy would know was the daring duo's designated territory. "Sev, you idiot, they're bored you know they'll hex you. C'mon Ellie, we've got to stop them," she said, jumping up and looking impatiently from the quickly unfolding scene to Elise's confused expression.

"Elise, you and I have the power to stop this."

Elise begrudgingly got up; she hated being dragged into James and Sirius's inter-house war with Slytherin. "Okay, but Snape doesn't help them get along any more than James and Sirius mess it up. You know that right?"

"Yes, fine. C'mon!" She grabbed Elise's hand and strode across the grass.

Elise got a sinking feeling in her stomach when she saw how noticeably Sirius perked up as she and Lily came running over. Several other students had gathered to watch James torment Snape and James was clearly enjoying the attention.

"Leave him alone, Potter!" Lily yelled.

"Hello Evans. What can I do for you on this fine afternoon?" he said with a bit too much swagger in his voice.

"You can leave him alone, Potter and then throw yourself to the giant squid for all I care!" Lily was livid.

"I'll never hex Snivelly again if you go out with me Evans," he offered.

"I'd sooner go out with a flobberworm. You think I don't see you always messing your hair up so it looks like you've just gotten off a broomstick? And all those Slytherins you hex? You think I find that courageous? Potter, you disgust me."

James wasn't giving up that easily. "I'll leave him alone if you just go on one date with me. Here," he said, muttering the counter-jinx. "See? No harm done."

But as soon as Snape was free of the jinx he grabbed his wand and threw a hex at James. A gash appeared on the side of his face and blood splattered his robes.

"Oy!" James flicked his wand and Snape was suspended upside-down in the air. Onlookers roared with laughter.

"Let him down Potter!"

"Just one date?" There was another flash and Snape was on the ground in a heap again. He dove for his wand but Sirius put him in a full body bind. James, Sirius and Peter were thoroughly enjoying themselves. Elise could see Remus behind his book; his eyes weren't following the words. Lily pointed her wand at James.

"Leave him be! Don't make me hex you Potter."

Everyone could tell Lily was serious.

"All right, take it easy Evans," James said defensively, undoing the full body bind. "You should count yourself lucky Evans cares so much Snivelly or—."

"I don't need help from a filthy Mudblood like her," Snape spat.

Lily gasped as though she'd been slapped; the crowd was silent.

"Apologize to Evans," James growled, pointing his wand at Snape.

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologize; you're just as bad as he is."

"Lily, James would never say anything like that to you," Elise said quietly.

"Don't you dare stick up for him. I'm sick of you always showing off Potter. Kindly never speak to me again. You make me sick." She stormed off, only stopping to glare at Elise who had not been following after her. Elise quickly followed her without a word; she had been rudely surprised by the whole spectacle.

* * *

She thought it was just as well that she didn't have much time to speak to James or Sirius over the next few days with the finishing of the OWLs. Elise was quite out of things to say to them apart from letting them know that she presently shared the majority of her opinions about them with Lily. Lily had been extremely angry with her for a very short while. After that she decided she did want someone to be disgusted about boys with and they spent most of their time studying together up in the dormitory with Alice and Jane.

Elise could sense that Remus had been delegated to bridge the seemingly ever present gap between them every time she spoke to him. She received a number of sorry looks from all four boys and was quite beside herself with what to do. When exams were finally over and she could avoid speaking to them no longer she allowed Sirius to approach her.

"Ellie, I'm sorry. I know there's nothing I can say besides that to make you happy, right?"

Elise narrowed her eyes. "Sirius Black, there are many things you could say that would make me happy. Frankly, I doubt you ever will so let me put it simply. Your actions disgust me. You're very lucky you're not dead set on making me yours for all eternity like I'm convinced James is of Lily because I'd say you have very little chance of it, though, probably much better than James does."

At her last words, Elise thought she saw something flicker across his face but it was gone as soon as she'd considered it.

"So...?"

She sighed. "I'll speak to you but I want you to understand how I feel and I want you to convey that to James as well. And stop making poor Remus your go between; he's got more honor _and _more to deal with than you and James put together. I'll see you in the morning.

* * *

It was the last night of term and Elise left dinner early to finish packing. She always put it off, even though she'd be returning in a few months time. She saw the parchment lying on her bed from the doorway. It was the blank Marauder's Map, a small scrap of paper with an ink paw print on it stuck out from the folds. Elise hadn't seen the map for a while; James and Sirius constantly required it. Some days Elise thought that it had been a bad idea to encourage them, but the map was a great piece of magic.

The scrap of paper also contained the words _What do you think?_ Puzzled, Elise tapped the sheaf of parchment and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

The familiar spidery lines spread from the place her wand had tapped the parchment and slowly their grand map of Hogwarts castle took shape. It all looked the same to her.

"_Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present The Marauder's Map and_..." she trailed off. There had never been an 'and' before. "_And extend their sincerest thanks to the Silver Lady for all her brilliance and tolerance in the matter of this most magical map_," she finished. Sirius, or probably Remus for that matter, certainly had a flare for words.

Flipping through the map she saw the dot labeled _Sirius Black_ loitering at the bottom of the girls' staircase. She scribbled '_Thanks, I love it. See you in the morning' _on the back of his note and bewitched it to fly down to him. His dot returned to the boys' dormitory moments later. That small matter out of the way, her thoughts turned to summer and the OWLs results she would be receiving. The Marauder's Map was packed safely in the bottom of her trunk, inside her copy of _Les__ Misérables._


	16. Sweet Dreams

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: I come bearing three nice, long chapters and the promise of at least one more fairly soon. Sorry for the wait. )**

**Sweet Dreams**

"...mmrgh...Siri...Sirius!" Elise sat bolt upright in bed. She looked around frantically and realized she was at home in bed. It had been a dream.

"A dream. Just a dream. Nothing to worry about. Going back to bed. Just a dream," she reassured herself, turning out her light and lying down. She stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours, convincing herself.

"Ugh, but he _would_ be that stupid," she said aloud, turning her light back on and getting out of bed. She scribbled a note, ran up to the attic and sent Genevieve to Sirius's house, for she had a feeling he was at home and not in Devonshire yet. Elise sat at the window, absently tapping the glass, waiting for her owl to return.

When Genevieve returned an hour later with the note she had sent, Elise decided that her fears had been confirmed.

"What should I do?" she asked the owl, who regarded her quizzically.

"I'll go to his house and knock down the door; I want answers!" She stood resolutely, grabbed her wand and rummaged for some Sickles before running downstairs and out the door. If Genevieve had been able to understand her, she would have shaken her head.

Elise stood at the curb in her pajamas, thinking. _What was it her mother had said about the Knight Bus? Stick out your wand arm? Must be._ She stuck out her wand arm, rational thought completely abandoned. A few seconds passed before a set of headlights punctured the darkness. A deep purple, triple-decker bus materialized and stopped inches from her outstretched hand. She boarded the bus as soon as the doors opened, startling the young, sleep deprived conductor.

"Whoa, there. No need to hurry. We'll get you where you need to go in good time. My name's St—."

"Nice to meet you. I need to go to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place right no—."

"Ellie? What're you doing here? Nice pajamas." Sirius extricated himself from a pile on the floor and dusted himself off. "Stu, you gotta give passengers more warning than that. Almost lost an eye."

"Sirius...you're here...that's great," Elise sputtered, brain finally slowing down at the appearance of her friend. "Er, sorry Mr. Conductor. I guess I don't need to go anywhere anymore. Good night. Sirius, c'mon!"

Sirius dug his bags out of the jumble on the floor and followed her into the house.

"What were you thinking!" she yelled, though he could sense the underlying worry in her voice.

"Erm, I don't know exactly what you're talking about Ellie. Feel free to explain anytime you want," he said, sitting on his trunk and trying not to laugh at her sincere worry. "Give the adrenaline a break; you'll wear yourself out."

Elise took a deep breath before sitting on the kitchen counter across from him and fixing him with a very serious look. "Don't you dare laugh at me Sirius Black. I had a dream. I'm not in Divination so I won't pretend to know anything about dream symbolism but it really worried me. I tried to go back to sleep and I couldn't, so I sent you an owl and it came back without a reply. Yeah, I guess I overreacted but turning up on the Knight Bus does kind of confirm my thinking that you'd done something stupid, doesn't it? Just what did actually happen?" she finished, taking another deep breath.

"Well...from what I understood, you were very worried about me because of something you dreamt and you let yourself get carried away. You're right, I suppose. I ran away from home. I couldn't stand my family and their pureblood nonsense any longer. I don't know if you've heard anything about this Lord Voldemort character but the stupid Slytherins think he's so great. I just couldn't stand it. Bloody stupid. Weird that you had a dream about me. Were there any Slytherins or dark wizards in it as well?"

"You ran away?"

"Were you listening to anything I said? Really, Ellie. You should be a better example."

She rolled her eyes. "Where were you planning on going?"

"James's place."

"Have you written him?"

"No. He's probably asleep like most sane people usually are at one in the morning."

"I had a dream!"

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry."

"You should write him before you just show up."

"I can't believe you're thinking of being courteous at a time like this."

"It's not like you need to show up there this instant, is it? You can stay here tonight...this morning...whatever."

"Shouldn't you ask _your_ parents?"

"They're not here. They're at a Ministry conference in Croatia. They won't be home for a week," she said, jumping off the counter. "Want some pumpkin juice?"

"Sure." He followed her into the kitchen.

"Stop looking at my pajamas."

"Maybe you shouldn't have writing on your bum, or such short shorts."

"Sirius Black, no one but my parents usually sees me in my pajamas, so it doesn't _usually_ matter what they look like. It only says _The Weird Sisters_. Not like it's hard to read. Besides, it's hot out; I can wear shorts if I want to," she snapped, handing him a glass of pumpkin juice and leaning back against the counter with a Lily-esque scowl on her face.

"Sorry I said anything. I was only enjoying the view."

"Control your testosterone or you can go to James's now," Elise warned, leaving the kitchen.

"Where are you going?"

"To change!"

* * *

With the pajama dispute settled, Elise and Sirius played Exploding Snap until they fell asleep on the carpet around dawn. Elise woke to the sound of excited barking and worried whining. Her semi-comatose brain knew there was some reason why she should be more bothered by being woken but it was not until she went into the backyard and was almost knocked down by an overly worried Circe that she realized there was another dog in her yard. 

"Padfoot, come!"

The large, black dog bounded across the yard and landed in a heap at her feet. She bent over and tapped him on the snout as a reprimand only to receive a slobbery dog kiss in return.

"Bad dog!" She raised her hand to slap his rump, a punishment she used when Circe was really naughty, but stayed her hand. He would only enjoy it. "You change back right now so I can slap you in an appropriate place."

Padfoot whined and hung his head. Elise was not convinced.

"Change back or I'll lock you in the kennel, and I promise it won't be comfortable for you to change in there."

Padfoot ran a few yards away before changing into Sirius, smirk and all.

"That was not funny."

"I know," he said with mock sincerity. "I've been horrible and you should punish me." He turned around and bent over.

Elise sighed. "C'mon Circe, we'll get you come breakfast away from the nasty boy dog. C'mon girl."

Sirius came into the kitchen a few minutes later where Elise and Circe were enjoying a breakfast of eggs and bacon. Elise pointed to a bowl of dog food on the counter next to her.

"Eat up."

"Hey!"

"Circe wanted your eggs, sorry. I figured I should make it up to her for inviting such a poorly trained dog into her house without asking first. Right, sweetie?" she cooed to the dog. Circe barked in agreement.

"Circe doesn't know what I see in you, or any boy for that matter. Boys are no good." Affirmative bark. "No, Circe, not even for reproduction. That just gives them bad ideas."

"Look Ellie, this is very cute, you talking to you dog about me, but I could really use some breakfast. Chasing birds in your yard can work up quite the appetite. I'm sorry, okay? Hear me, Circe? I'm sorry."

"What do you think? He did say he's sorry." Another affirmative bark. "I suppose. Your plate's in the oven," she said, putting the bowl of dog food on the floor.

"You're a funny girl," he said, sitting next to her with his plate. "She's a funny girl, isn't she Circe?"

Circe cocked her head to the side and looked at Elise.

"Yes, I know. He's a silly boy. You want to go back outside?" Affirmative bark. "Okay girl, let's go outside!"

Elise threw the ball for Circe until she was tired, all the while discussing Sirius's behavior with her trusty companion. She poured Circe a fresh bowl of water as she lay panting in the shade of the porch. "Stay cool. It's going to be hot today. I've got to change out of my inappropriate pajamas before this dressing gown gets too hot." Jealous whine. "I know, poor Circe can't take off her fur in the heat. I'll let you inside if it gets too hot," she said, closing the back door.

"Help yourself to anything you can find if you're still hungry," she called to Sirius as she went upstairs. "I'm off to put on something else we can pick a fight over," she said quietly to herself, smiling.

* * *

"James says it should be fine with his parents but since they're not home he's gonna write again when they get in. Is it okay if I stay a while long...alright, I know you deliberately put that on, so don't snap at me for looking," Sirius said, as Elise came to the bottom of the staircase. 

"You're absolutely right, Sirius Black. I don't like to dress comfortably in the summer, I just have no respect for your testosterone or your wandering eyes. I'm only wearing this flattering French sundress to torture you. Now," she said, placing a wide-brimmed hat on her head, "would you like to come for a walk? The neighborhood park is lovely in the summer."

Sirius sighed. "Yes, Ellie, I'd love to. Just don't walk near any fountains or I might have to push you in." She gave him a disapproving look. "I'm only being honest. I thought you encouraged that."

"I'd pull you in with me if you did. James would be quite jealous."

"Evans would be incredibly frustrated with you."

"It's a good thing there aren't any fountains in the park, isn't it?"

"I suppose it is. Are you going to let Circe in before we leave?"

"Good idea. I'll only be a minute."

Elise went to the back door and called Circe in, placing her water bowl on the floor in the kitchen. "I think we were wrong about boys, Circe. Sometimes they can be quite fun," she whispered. "Don't let anyone in while we're out."

* * *

"When you're telling James _every_ juicy little detail, be sure to put yourself in a good light or I'm sure he'll do something stupid around Lily come this fall. I'm counting on you to be a good example," Elise said as they walked in the door. 

"C'mon Ellie, do you really think I tell James _everything_?"

"Yes, especially if it'll make him jealous. Don't worry, I wouldn't willingly do anything that I didn't want James to hear about."

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, don't look at me like that. Do you want a towel?"


	17. Hide and Seek

What Life Could Have Been

Hide and Seek

"So, Ellie's still invited up here, right?"

James shook his head in disbelief. "I really don't understand this world."

"Don't take it personal, mate. Lily will come around if she's meant to. It's not your fault, it's Snivelly's. But Ellie can still come, right?"

"If you two can control yourselves," James said.

"What? It's not like we were snogging or anything."

"Don't sound so indignant. I'd give anything to have Lily look at me like I was human."

"Ah, young love."

"Shut up, Moony. No one asked you. And get rid of that sarcasm, it doesn't suit you."

"Oh, please," Remus replied, "it's the only weapon I've got against you hoodlums."

"Yeah, apart from a vicious werewolf alter-ego," James muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," James and Sirius said in unison.

"Where's Peter?" Remus asked. "He should have been here an hour ago."

"He probably got lost in the village again. Let's go find him."

* * *

The fire flared up in the Potter's kitchen. Elise coughed; she wasn't used to communicating by Floo Powder.

"Hello, Mrs. Potter."

"Hello, Elise. How's your summer been?"

"Great, thanks. Does the invitation still stand for me to come for a few weeks?"

"Of course, the boys will be delighted."

"Um, could you _not_ tell them I'm coming? I'd like to surprise them."

"Certainly, I dare say they've got it coming." Mrs. Potter smiled conspiratorially. "When can I expect you?"

"Would later this afternoon be okay? I've still got to pack."

"This afternoon will be fine. You'll be using Floo Powder, right?"

"Yep."

"Well, I'll make up a room for you and keep them out of the house. See you later."

"Goodbye Mrs. Potter, and thanks again." Elise pulled her head out of the fireplace and brushed the ashes from her hair. "I sure wish there was a more comfortable way to communicate long distances."

"Who were you talking to Mum?" James asked, as the three of them made their way through the kitchen and out the backdoor.

"My sister."

"Is she coming for a visit?"

"She's thinking about it. You three have fun in the village, but don't bother those poor Muggle girls too much."

"Don't know what you're talking about Mum. We're going to find Pete; he's gotten lost again."

RULER

"I gave you a room on the quiet side of the house, if you know what I mean," Mrs. Potter said as she helped Elise carry her things up the stairs. "They're off in the village at the moment, I think Peter got lost."

"That sounds about right."

"Here we are. This door's the closet and that one's the bathroom. Dinner's around six and down the hall to the left are the stairs to the roof. The terrace up there is a lovely reading spot. You can get to the village by going down the drive and taking the road right. If you need anything I'll be downstairs."

"Thanks so much Mrs. Potter."

"Don't mention it. I love having all you teenagers around; my husband thinks I'm crazy, but I do."

She left Elise to unpack and think about the best way to keep her presence unknown.

* * *

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what, Pete? Honestly, I think you've lost it."

"No, Sirius. I heard it too," Remus said.

"You better listen to Moony, he's got very sensitive hearing," James said seriously.

"Stop it Prongs. There it is again. You're parents aren't home, are they?"

James got up and opened the door, peering out into the hallway. The house was silent.

"I honestly don't know what you two are on about. There's no one here," Sirius said, turning back to the map they had been studying. "James, is this part of the forest on your property? James? James are you still out there?"

Sirius got up and looked out into the hallway. "He's wandered off!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "It's his house, he can't have gone far."

James came back into the room and shut the door. "There's definitely someone else in this house, and it's not my parents." A door slammed on the floor above them.

"This house isn't haunted, is it James?" Peter whispered.

"Don't be stupid Wormtail."

"I really don't see what the problem is. I'm sure whoever is here has a perfectly good reason," Remus said.

"Moony, don't be so rational." Sirius stood up. "I say we split up and find whoever it is."

"Yeah! I'll get the cloak."

Remus crossed his arms. "You can't turn _every_ situation into an adventure. I just don't see what there is to be excited about."

"Remus," Sirius said, putting away the maps, rolling up his sleeves and pulling his hair back into a ponytail, "you never let yourself have any fun. You could at least _pretend_ it's exciting? Wouldn't want all those brain cells to go to waste over the summer, would we?"

Remus sighed. "Fine. Get me a magnifying glass and a trench coat and I'm your man."

"That's more like it!" Sirius said, missing the sarcasm.

Soon the four boys were running all over the house, searching through broom closets, linen cupboards and all manner of unlikely places. Elise sat in her room, wondering what on earth they could be doing and where they had come from so quickly. It had been a very quiet morning. There were footsteps on the stairs and she heard James and Sirius run down the hall towards the stairs to the attic and roof.

"I'll check the attic Padfoot, you check the rooms below."

"Oh fun," Elise said to herself. "They're searching the house. Nothing for it, I suppose." She sat on the edge of the bed, hands folded in her lap, looking resolutely at the door. Elise could hear Sirius moving rapidly down the hallway, banging doors open and slamming doors shut.

The door banged open. "Bloody hell!" Sirius said.

Elise sighed. "Hello, Sirius."

He gaped at her.

"Do come in and close the door."

Sirius shut the door and sat next to her. "Ellie, when did you get here?"

"Yesterday."

"Why didn't you say?"

"Can't I have any fun?" she pouted.

"Fun? You gave us quite a fright."

"Ha. Maybe I gave Peter a fright. I bet Remus was skeptical and you and James ran around like a pair of headless chickens."

Sirius scratched his head and looked at the ground.

"It's okay."

"So, what do you want to do Ellie? Oh, I don't like that smile."

"All I want you to do is pretend I'm not here. I'll get to the others. Just don't go tearing the house apart, okay?"

Sirius nodded. "Will do."

"And, well, you can help if you want. If you don't give me away." She winked at him. "Go on then. Keep looking for me."

"I'll come back later."

"I know you will."

* * *

Elise was sitting in the kitchen helping Mrs. Potter with dinner when James came in.

"Hello, James."

"Ellie! What're you doing here?"

She looked at him blankly. "You invited me."

"Right, yes. When did you get here?"

"Hmm...yesterday afternoon, I think. Yes, that's right."

"Does Sirius know you're here?"

"No. I want to keep it a secret as long as I can. You won't tell the others I'm here, will you James?"

James grinned; he couldn't wait till Sirius found out Elise had been hiding from him. "Of course not Ellie."

"Thanks. Carrot?"

* * *

From her position on the roof, Elise could tell the four boys were up to no good. She was really enjoying the nice, quiet hiding she had been able to accomplish so far. She was currently reading _Hogwarts: A History_ and working on a base tan for all the Quidditch playing she knew she would be doing. If the boys weren't pretending she wasn't there, she would never have been able to get away with wearing a bikini around them. So Elise couldn't help sighing when she heard footsteps on the stairs. She was just retying her straps when Remus emerged onto the roof.

"Ellie!? Oh my God, I'm sorry...I'll just...er..." He immediately turned his bright red face the other way.

"No, you're not going anywhere. Help me tie this."

Remus quietly complied, trying to tie a knot while looking the other way.

"Oh, c'mon. I don't care if you look at my back. With the company you keep I'm surprised you're so embarrassed."

Remus was so shocked by what she said that he stopped blushing. "Excuse me?"

"Yes, you're being a prude. What, are you afraid of Sirius or something?"

"No, I'm not afraid of Sirius...I'm—."

"Good, because he doesn't even know I'm here."

"Really? Wait, how long have you been here?" he stammered.

"This is the third day," she giggled, "and I'm having _so_ much fun."

"Are you trying to get back at Sirius for something? From what he's said, it sounds like you two had quite a nice time."

She smiled. "Oh, I don't know. I just thought the opportunity was too good to miss. Am I making you uncomfortable?"

He blushed again. "Well...not really."

Elise grinned. "Good. You want to help me mess with their heads?"

"I'd love to. This is much more fun than their harebrained schemes."

"I thought this would be your kind of thing. Just don't let them know I'm here."

* * *

"When's James going to get back?" Peter asked.

Remus sighed. "He'll get back when he gets back Pete. Quit nagging."

"Yeah. It's your turn Wormtail," Sirius said. "Leave poor Moony to his reading."

"Yes, please do. But Pete, do you really think it's wise to _gamble_ with Padfoot?"

Peter's face fell. "Wanna play Gobstones, Sirius? I've got a set upstairs."

Sirius sighed. "If you can get Moony to play."

"Moony?"

"Oh, alright. Go get your Gobstones."

Peter ran out of the room.

Sirius frowned. "Moony, I get the impression that you don't approve of my gambling."

"Where ever did you get that idea?"

Peter turned on the light and had already started going through his bag by the time he realized there was someone else in the room.

"Ellie! You...you scared me."

"I'm sorry. I wanted to get you alone."

"Wait...when did you get here?"

"Three days ago. Can you keep this a secret? I don't want the others to know"

Peter grinned. "This is brilliant. Are you mad at Sirius?"

"Why would you jump to that conclusion, Pete?"

"Uh...well I've seen how you two get along sometimes. I mean it has been three _years_..." he said nervously.

She sighed. "Yeah, we are stupid sometimes. No. I'm not mad at anyone. I just want to have my own share of the fun. Besides, you know they'll think it's brilliant when I tell them."

He nodded. "I've got to go play Gobstones. I won't tell them, I promise."

"Thanks. Have fun. Don't let Sirius cheat."

* * *

By the fifth day Elise had had enough. She really wanted to be in on whatever it was that they were getting up to every day. She waited until they were all eating breakfast before walking into the kitchen and bidding everyone 'Good morning' like she had been there all along, which she had.

"Good morning Elise, how would you like your eggs?" James's mother asked.

"Scrambled, please. What're you four staring at? Please, _I _don't want to see what you're eating."

Mr. Potter was shaking with silent laughter behind the morning _Prophet_. James frowned. "Were you two in on this?"

"Of course we were dear," his mother said.

"You _really_ didn't suspect that I was here?" she asked, barely able to contain her laughter.

The four identical looks of annoyance told her enough.

"Maybe I should rephrase that. You _really_ didn't tell each other that I was here?"

The four identical looks of confusion confirmed it. Elise burst out laughing.

"Hey..." Suspicious.

"Wow." Impressed.

"Huh?" Clueless.

"Ellie..." Warning.

They finished breakfast in silence, apart from Elise's continued giggles at the looks on all of their faces. When the last plate was clean they chased her from the room.

"Ellie, come out of there right now!" Sirius demanded.

"What're you going to do to me?" she laughed.

"Horrible things," he growled.

"Then I don't think I will thanks."

"Fine." Footsteps stomped away.

"Poor Sirius," she said, opening the door and peering into the hallway. Someone unseen grabbed her from behind. "Hey! The cloak is cheating! Put me down! Where are you taking me?"

It was the first of many times someone was thrown in the lake that summer.

"Stupid boys," Elise muttered, wringing the water from her hair.


	18. Sixth Years

What Life Could Have Been

Sixth Years

The compartment door banged open and Sirius and James dove in. They lay on the floor motionless until a gang of Slytherins rushed past. Sirius gave Elise a pleading look and she drew the curtains, allowing James and Sirius to sit up.

"Those Slytherins got huge over the summer," Sirius exclaimed, gesticulating wildly.

"Yeah, all except Snivelly," James snickered. He caught a look from Remus. "Oh, sorry. What're you two looking at?"

"OWL results. We were too preoccupied to share them over the summer. You clowns saw to that."

"Oh, Ellie, don't be cross," Sirius said, jumping up off the floor to sit next to her. "Ooh, you did well, didn't you?"

The look she shot him was nothing _but_ cross. "If you had bothered to find me _before_ you tried to curse Slytherins twice your size, then I wouldn't already be in a serious discussion with Remus, would I?" She waved him away.

Sirius went back to sitting on the floor with James, who was trying very hard not to laugh.

"What's so funny, Prongs?"

"Oh, what? Nothing, nothing at all."

Sirius removed himself to the opposite corner and pouted until the lunch trolley arrived with a frightened Peter in tow. He took one look around the compartment and sat quietly next to Sirius and James, chewing on a licorice wand. Elise and Remus had all the old exam papers from the previous year spread around them as they poured over their marks. Sirius's boredom had reached its threshold.

"Ellie, what did you end up telling McGonagall you wanted to pursue," Remus asked quietly.

"Well, I'm still not sure but I think it'd be worthwhile to be an Auror. I did get the marks I needed. What do you think Remus?" She was watching Sirius's changing expression over the top of the parchment

"An Auror? Really, Ellie?"

"Didn't ask you."

"Well, if I'm not trying to divert the conversation, can't I join it?"

"I suppose."

"_You_ want to be an Auror? But, Ellie you're a girl."

Elise folded her arms across her chest. "Do you mean to tell me that you're of the _old-fashioned_ idea that witches shouldn't be Aurors? Really Sirius, it's 1976!"

"Now, Ellie, don't you—."

"I'm not going to take anymore of this from you. If you feel the need to come out of the Dark Ages, I'll be in Lily's compartment. She grabbed a sheaf of parchment and stormed out of the compartment.

Remus sighed and put his parchment away. James just shook his head.

"What?"

"You're never going to get it together, are you mate?"

"Get stuffed, Prongs."

* * *

"Well, I'm not surprised. All the Blacks are like that. It was bound to show in Sirius sooner or later," Lily condescended, flipping through _Witch Weekly._

"Lily, you barely know him. He's not as bad as you'd like to think. He's just so _stupid_ sometimes. How'd you do on your OWLs?"

"I passed everything."

"And what field are you considering?"

"Same as you, actually."

"Really?"

"Yes, are you surprised?"

"Well, yes. Just a little. Though I can't really say what I would've pegged you for anyway. You are ace at Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Thank you, Ellie."

The compartment door slid open. James poked his head in.

"What do you want Potter?"

"A word with Ellie, if you don't mind, Evans."

"It's fine James," Elise said, getting up and following him into the corridor. "What is it?"

"Well, Sirius won't admit it, it's his Black family ego you see, but he's really sorry. And if he's not sorry for what he said, he's really sorry for your lack of company. _I_ know he's completely wrong; I mean, just look at what you did with the map."

Elise smiled. "Thanks."

"Well, please think about what I've said. It'll do everyone a lot of good. See y—."

James ducked as Elise whipped out her wand and aimed a spell over his shoulder. "Merlin, Ellie. No need to show off."

"Slytherins. He was sneaking up on you," she said, looking around James and frowning at the sight of Sirius lying on the floor in a full body bind. "Oops. Sirius, you shouldn't lurk like that," she said, trying not to laugh.

They watched with interest as he tried to make a face, but he only his left cheek twitched.

"I think I'll just leave you like this; it'll teach you a lesson," she said, turning and going back to the girls' compartment.

James muttered the counter-jinx and helped Sirius to his feet.

"You really don't want to mess with her mate. I think you should try groveling, it'll be more effective."

"Yeah, you're probably right Prongs. Just don't read too much into it, alright?"

James smirked. "Whatever you say.

* * *

Elise made her way up to the castle with Lily, Alice and Jane. She was surprised that her actions not only kept Sirius from bugging her, but kept James from running after Lily as well.

"That was unusual," Lily said, as their dinners disappeared and the table magically filled with desserts. "Potter hasn't made his grand appearance yet."

"Maybe he's grown up."

"Maybe he's restraining Black," Lily retorted, unwilling to give James a chance.

Elise glanced up the table; the four boys were laughing but they were behaving better than usual.

"I've been watching them," Alice said, "they've been looking down here all evening."

Lily smirked. "Pathetic."

"Merlin, Lily. What happened between you that makes you despise them so? Or don't you have a sense of humor?"

"When I first met Potter he was an arrogant pureblood prat and being Muggleborn makes me sensitive to a lot of the things they do. You wouldn't understand."

"Did he call you Mudblood?"

"No, of course not."

"It's been six years Lily. I think you need to forgive and forget. They've matured quite a bit since then."

"You obviously don't understand, Ellie. Just eat your pudding."

* * *

"You've gotta help me with Evans, Ellie. I've exhausted all of my usual tactics," James pleaded, rumpling his hair halfheartedly.

Elise sighed. "I can see that. Now, maybe you'll have a chance."

He frowned.

"Yes, alright. I suppose you can't be blamed for being clueless. Sirius is just as bad. You know I'm right, don't you?"

James nodded. "I tell him so all the time."

Elise laughed. "He must be really clueless if even you notice."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Look, Lily hates it when you show off, when you act like an arrogant pureblood git, and when you're immature. You're probably going to have a very difficult time changing your behavior, but I bet if you just watch Remus you'll get somewhere; Lily likes Remus."

"I'm a goner, Ellie. I should just give up on her now. Why d'you like us so much? You and Lily are so different. I don't understand girls at all," he rambled despondently.

"You'll understand someday. Just give it a shot. Stop messing up your hair, stop hexing Slytherins, put effort into your schoolwork and don't purposely show off in front of her. It'll be a start. Don't ignore her; just treat her like any other person. Treat her like me. We've had an entire conversation and you haven't done anything that I can think of that would make me dislike you."

"Yeah, but you're so different from her."

"You'll be fine. If you do something stupid or have no luck, I'll try to think of something else."

"Thanks Ellie."

"You're welcome. And don't you dare give Sirius any of this advice."

* * *

Lily stretched and sighed contentedly. She, Elise and Alice were sitting in the relatively empty Common Room during one of their free periods, books and parchment spread out on the table.

"Why're you so happy?" Elise asked glumly, moving her elbow and dislodging a stack of parchment.

"Well, I though this year was going to be a nightmare, but I feel so free and refreshed."

Elise and Alice looked at each other and then the mountain of homework that was taking over the table. "Is she okay?" Elise asked Alice in a mock whisper.

"I'm fine! I just don't feel hassled is all."

"Lily, look at the table! Are you blind? Can you see all those books there?"

"Yes, it just doesn't bother me."

"It's not healthy to like homework this much Lily. Are you in denial? Do you need to see Madam Pomfrey?" Alice asked.

At that moment the portrait opened and James entered the Common Room carrying his own stack of books and parchment. He set his load down on a table across the room and approached Elise with a roll of parchment.

"Hey Ellie. Can you proofread this for me? I've spent almost two hours on it and want to make sure it's perfect," he asked politely.

"Sure James," she said, taking it from him.

"Thanks so much Ellie. I've got to go help Sirius write his; his marks have been dropping lately. See you later."

"Bye."

As soon as James had gathered his things and left the Common Room, Alice and Lily rounded on Elise.

"What the bloody hell was that all about Ellie?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, that was kind of weird," Alice agreed.

Elise sighed. "He wants me to proof his paper, what's the big deal? I do it for you two and Jane all the time."

"That wasn't rehearsed or anything?"

Now it was Elise's turn for an outburst. "Rehearsed! You think I'd stoop that low to get you to like James? That's absurd Lily. You know I barely speak to them. You remind me of it quite often."

They were both surprised at her reaction.

"Sorry Ellie. I didn't mean anything by it. Wow," Lily said to herself, "James Potter focusing on schoolwork. I'd almost forgotten he was here. I've seen so little of him recently."

Elise scoffed. "You sound almost disappointed."

Lily blushed. "Well, I'm not. At least I'm not mooning around, missing Sirius Black; that boy will never grow up."

"I have _not_ been mooning around or missing him. He's a depraved and insufferable prat and I don't want anything to do with him. Why would you even think that?" She didn't give them time to answer. Elise gathered up her books and parchment and made to leave the Common Room before she remembered that the boys were in the library. She went up the staircase to the girls' dormitory instead and spread her homework out on her bed, cursing Lily and her knack for reading people like the books she enjoyed so much.


	19. These Games We Play

**What Life Could Have Been**

**These Games We Play**

Elise returned James's essay at dinner and complimented his grammar and penmanship. She also slipped him a note when no one else was looking. 

_Meet me later. We need to talk._

He gave her an affirmative, though slightly confused nod and she returned to her seat next to Jane.

It was a lot easier than she had expected. They sat at a far table in the Common Room to go over his essay one more time and everyone avoided them like they had a bad case of dragon pox.

"So Ellie, what do you need?" he asked quietly. 

"I'm frustrated and I want some results. Lily and Sirius are so incredibly frustrating!"

"Ellie, you've barely spoken to Sirius since that day on the train."

"Your point is...?" she asked, pointing to a random spot on the parchment to keep up the charade.

James knew that it would be very unwise to discuss her current behavior, so he said again: "What do you need? I'll help you anyway I can."

"Really?" 

James didn't like the look in her eyes.

"What? Ellie, what're you thinking about?"

She took a quick look around the room and, satisfied with whatever she saw, promptly leaned in and kissed him. He froze. Through the Common Room noise, Elise heard a yelp of pain and an angry voice question, "What the hell, Sirius?" 

She quickly whispered, "Just go with it James."

And he did. And Sirius stormed up the staircase to the boys' dormitory. And there were multiple wolf-whistles. And when they were done, Elise went right up to bed, drawing the curtains tightly and ignoring all attempts at waking her.

* * *

The next morning on the way down to breakfast, James jumped out from behind a tapestry and pulled Elise in with him. 

"Please tell me if you're going to do something like that ever again," he said sternly.

She smirked. "James, I think this is going to work. Unless you're uncomfortable? I can find someone else to help me."

"I don't follow."

"Sirius and Lily are insanely jealous. Didn't he try to confront you when you went up to bed?"

"No, he ignored me."

"Just you wait. He'll confront you sooner or later. If studying with Snape is a punishable offense, then I don't know what this is. Anyway, after making sure I was asleep, which of course I wasn't, Lily, Alice and Jane stayed up talking for quite some time. She's _so_ jealous." Elise giggled a little too loudly.

"Honestly!" came an exasperated voice from the corridor. The offended person quickly walked away.

"Do you really think this is going to work Ellie?" James asked uncertainly.

"Yes, I do. But I think you should watch out for Sirius."

"Yeah, he can get a little carried away."

"I apologize in advance in case he decides to hex you. I can only imagine he'll see this as betrayal."

"But it isn't really, right?"

"Of course not. You're a great guy James, but if you don't know me by now, then you're a bit of a dunce. C'mon, let's go down to breakfast."

* * *

"Who would've thought _this_ could ever happen?" Lily wondered aloud one evening, distracted from her homework by James and Elise for the umpteenth time. 

"It's so shameless," Alice agreed.

"I doubt they'll get anything done," Remus said. 

Sirius grunted.

"What're the uses of dragon blood?" Peter asked, trying in vain to work out his homework on his own. 

"I just don't get it," Jane said.

They all sighed as Elise laughed at something James said. Again.

* * *

Two weeks later, Remus walked into Ancient Runes on Tuesday morning with resolve. He sat down next to Elise and looked her straight in the eye.

"Is this because of Sirius? Are you two having another stupid row?"

She blinked at him. "Remus, what're you on about? You can't just walk up to me and demand an answer with prefacing."

He sighed. "Oh, please don't play clueless with me Ellie. You and James. Is this about Sirius in _any_ way?"

"Remus, am I really that conniving? I'm insulted. I thought James was your friend, I don't see why you disapprove."

"Yes, well I thought you and Sirius were..." He looked at her awkwardly, not sure what he meant.

"Yes, Remus?"

"Erm, well, I thought that you two were, you know...Oh, you'll just be mad if I say it. You know what we all thought Ellie."

"Yes, I do."

"He's really upset. You know he'd never say anything, but we can all tell."

"I know, Remus. Did you ever think that maybe you were wrong? Did you ever think that maybe I _really_ like James, that I'm not just using him?"

"Is he using you to get Lily jealous?"

"Remus John Lupin! How dare you!"

"Well, it is James's style, don't you agree?"

"First, I would never willingly agree to anything like that, and second, he would tell me. You're all horrible at keeping things from me."

Remus scoffed.

"Oh?"

"Well, I'm not going to say anything now, am I? I just wanted to make sure you weren't trying to get at anyone."

"I'm glad you're _so_ concerned."

"This thing has messed up everyone else's lives as well. Sirius barely speaks to anyone and Pete and I have to keep him away from James. I'm willing to bet you're not speaking to the other girls much either."

But at moment the professor walked in and Elise turned to the front of the classroom, quill in hand and ready to drink in every word of the lesson.

RULER

"Well, Pete, I just don't know. It looks like the real thing," Remus said, sitting down across from Peter and Sirius in the library. "You get your Potions figured out?"

"No."

"Give it here then."

"What'd she say Moony?"

Remus looked up at the sound of Sirius's voice. He was very quiet, not at all usual for Sirius, and had a downtrodden look about him. It was a pitiful sight.

"Sirius...it wasn't a conversation that I think you want to hear repeated. I guess everyone was wrong. About you two, I mean. According to Ellie, both she and James are serious." 

"Then it must be James's fault, unless you don't think she was straight with you?"

"No, she was, but what do you mean 'James's fault'?"

Sirius stood up. "D'you have the map?" 

"No..."

"D'you know where James is?"

"Sirius...," he warned.

"Nevermind Moony. See you at dinner."

He slouched out of the library. Remus wasn't sure if he wanted to follow or not. Or if it was safe to follow. Sirius had such a temper. Maybe it was better to let him do what he was going to do and get a detention for it, instead of bottling his anger up.

"Okay, what're you having trouble with Pete?"

* * *

"Where were you?" Elise demanded of Remus as he sat down to dinner.

"What do you mean? I was helping Pete with his Potions homework in the library."

"Sirius broke James's nose. He's in the Hospital Wing getting it fixed. I thought _you_ were keeping them apart."

Remus looked uneasily at Peter. "Where's Sirius?"

"Hell if I know." She quickly ate some steak and kidney pie before getting up again. "I'm going to the Hospital Wing. Wanna work on Ancient Runes later?"

"Sure," he muttered as she left.

* * *

James was already back in the Common Room by the time Elise arrived at the Hospital Wing. When she returned to Gryffindor Tower, he was sitting with Lily doing homework. Elise was a little surprised, but inwardly hopeful that Sirius's attack would win Lily's sympathy. She sat down next to him, kissed his cheek and took out her own homework, ignoring Lily's dark look. Finally, some progress; she hoped it all worked out in the end.


	20. Reconciliation

**What Life Could Have Been**

**Reconciliation**

The weeks went by and still no one had cracked. Elise was tired of the games. Everytime she passed Sirius in the corridors, she got a horrible gnawing feeling in her stomach. It was all her fault they were like this. She had been too stubborn to let him be himself. 

"Oh, James this is killing me. Do you have any ideas on how to get out of it? I'd feel horrible having to tell everyone we _were_ doing what they thought."

"You should have thought about that in the first place, Ellie. Sirius is really upset."

"He's talking to you?"

"Of course he's talking to me. I'm the closest he can get to you and I'm his best mate."

"Even though you're a backstabber?"

"Yeah, I suppose we should get out of this, shouldn't we?"

"How's Lily?"

"You could say we're polite acquaintances bordering on kind of friends. She doesn't avoid me but I'm sure she'd side with you if I ended it. So that's out."

"Well, just spend as much time as you can with her and I'll get jealous. But let's not drag it out. I can't bear to look at Sirius anymore, I feel so guilty."

* * *

James spent most of the weekend studying with Lily in the library and when Elise walked into Ancient Runes on Tuesday morning she sat down in a huff and tapped her quill irritably until Remus asked her what was wrong.

"Lily! She just won't leave James alone. I must say I never thought _that_ would happen. And _he_ spent all weekend studying with her!" She sighed heavily and spent that lesson glaring at the wall opposite her desk.

* * *

Remus found Sirius lying on his bed covered in the Invisibility Cloak during their free period that afternoon. 

"You okay mate?"

Sirius stared blankly at the hangings of his four-poster bed. 

"Ellie told me something that might cheer you up," he prompted.

Sirius turned his head to look at Remus.

"She was really upset in Ancient Runes this morning. It seems that James and Lily are spending a lot of time together and neither of them cares how she feels about it. I think we're witnessing the beginning of the end."

"Since when did you take pleasure in others' pain Moony?"

Remus sighed. "I'm trying to cheer you up. Nothing seems to work these days. Why don't you take a page out of Lily's book? Elise is upset, go and comfort her. Or you can just wait until it gets worse and pick up the pieces. I'm done trying with you!"

As he left the dormitory, something akin to a smile crept onto Sirius's face.

* * *

Elise had been gloomy and short-tempered all week. Now James and Lily weren't just doing homework but they were idly chatting and walking to class together. Most of Elise's unhappiness was just good acting but she was beginning to get irritated with Sirius's lack of action. If he and James were indeed talking, she was sure James had said something about spending a lot of time with Lily. After all, he was extremely pleased with the turn of events and Elise was a little hurt that Lily cared so little for her feelings.

She spent her Saturday afternoon reading in the abandoned corner of the library that held the books on the Goblin Wars. It was an extensive section and it took her quite a while to dust off a suitable corner. James and Lily had been having a great time with Alice, Jane and Peter when she left and Elise felt she was entitled to a good pout in a dreary place. She was being ignored by her fake boyfriend and all of her other friends were too busy hanging out with him to bother to inquire about her. Elise felt alone on so many levels. 

* * *

"Hey Ellie." Sirius walked over to her in Charms. 

"Hey," she said, not looking up from her book.

"Do you, erm... you wanna be my partner today?"

Elise looked up. "What?"

"You know, for when we practice later in class?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure." She tried to hide her smile.

"Great." He walked back to where James, Remus and Peter were sitting, almost instantly lowering his head to whisper something to them. 

Elise smiled into her book and twirled her hair around her wand all through the lesson.

* * *

Elise and James let the charade fade away. She stopped pretending to be jealous about Lily and Sirius stopped being awkward and distant around her. Soon they were all enjoying some of the last mild autumn days down by the lake together and taking up the big table by the fire doing homework in the evenings. The whole ordeal was forgotten like it had been a big misunderstanding; only one person was at all upset over James and Lily's new friendship: Severus Snape.


	21. Friends and Enemies

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: I'm back! Disclaimer still applies, etc.**

**Friends and Enemies**

The winter months had not only been filled with snow, rain and howling winds but with another kind of nastiness. This particular nastiness took the form of greasy, lurking Severus Snape. During the course of an average day, he could be found hiding around corners and listening in doorways whenever Lily was around, especially if she was with James. They were all pretty good at ignoring him but in the event that something secret was to be discussed, which was more often than not, Snape became a bit of a liability.

"Lily, can't you speak to Severus about the lurking? It's really getting annoying," Elise sighed one afternoon in the library. The Gryffindor sixth years had pulled two tables together and some illegal activity was taking place amid all of the homework.

"Yeah, Snivellus is really getting on my nerves," Sirius grumbled, doing his best to conceal the Marauder's Map from Snape's inquisitive gaze.

"Alright, but I don't see what good it will do," she said, getting up and wandering over to Snape's obvious hiding spot.

Everyone watched for a few minutes until Lily gave them a harassed look.

"I'm sure glad _I_ don't have a personal stalker," Elise murmured, rolling her eyes and turning back to her homework.

"Yeah, or Padfoot would break his nose."

"What'd you say Moony?"

"Oh, nothing," Remus said innocently; Elise stifled a laugh.

When Lily raised her voice, Madam Pince came over angrily and Snape stormed out of the library, saying something about betrayal and arrogant idiots.

* * *

True to what Elise assumed was Snape's word, he stopped hanging around Lily all the time. However, she began to notice him around more and more when she wasn't. For instance, when the boys were pouring over old maps of the grounds and planning a moonlit adventure, she was sure she saw Snape in the dusty corner devoted to the Goblin Wars.

She mentioned this to Sirius when she noticed him sitting at the near end of the Slytherin table for two weeks running.

"Sirius, have you noticed Snape more often than usual these past few weeks?" she asked during lunch one day.

"No, why do you ask?" he said, mouth full of potatoes.

"Sirius, that's disgusting."

"Sorry," he swallowed.

"It's just that I think he's been sitting a lot closer to us than usual. And I could've sworn he was spying on us in the library when you were planning the last full moon. He's making me nervous."

"Why should you be nervous?"

Elise sighed. "You're so dense sometimes. If he found out about you, James and Peter _or_ about Remus, he could make life pretty awkward for you four. Just be careful what you say around him."

"Oh, Ellie, you read too much. Snivelly's not smart enough to figure out what we're up to all the time," he said matter-of-factly. "I'll see you in Potions; I've got to go check something."

"Sirius Black, you are such an arrogant fool," she muttered to herself, pushing her steak and kidney pie around her plate with distaste.

* * *

Over the Easter holidays Sirius and James came up with some "brilliant" plans for the Shrieking Shack; Dumbledore himself encouraged the rumors about the house so the boys decided to get creative.

"I thought you said you'd researched these creatures," Elise questioned as she looked at their lists. "There's no way anyone will believe the Shrieking Shack's got a nest of Quintapeds in it. Most of the wizarding world thinks that story's a myth and rest believes those creatures are confined to their ancestral island somewhere remote. What put that harebrained idea into your heads?"

James and Sirius looked at her in disbelief.

"Did we do something to offend you Ellie?" Sirius asked evenly.

"No, why?"

"You're being awfully harsh."

She sighed. "I hurt your feelings, is that what you're saying?"

They looked at each other, unsure of what to say.

"Well, I'm so _very_ sorry that you can't be sensible. I just don't want Snape to find out that you're _illegal_ Animagi or that Remus is, oh I don't know...a werewolf! Do you ever think about what comes out of your mouths?" She stalked out of the Common Room and up to the girls' dormitory.

James patted Sirius on his astonished shoulder. "Don't worry mate. She just gets like that when she feels strongly about something. You should know that by now."

* * *

The sharp whites and blacks of winter melted into the muddy browns, grays and greens of spring shortly after Easter. Sirius and James were doing their best to be sensible but Elise was still far from appeased. She decided that ignoring her anxieties would be a healthier pastime than constantly nagging so she simply gave them a weekly reminder and let the matter rest.

Unfortunately, James and Lily got into an argument over something trivial within Snape's hearing and he resumed his lurking. He could not be silenced by any pleas from Lily or any threats from James. Elise became increasingly snappy when Snape was around and Sirius didn't seem to understand what discretion meant.

* * *

Elise was enjoying the quiet of the girls' dormitory when she heard a commotion down in the Common Room. Normally she wouldn't have been disturbed but this was an outburst of epic proportions. Laying her book spine up on her bed, she went to the door to investigate; it was a beautiful spring evening so she was surprised to find anyone inside at all.

"—could you have said something so stupid! He was standing right there."

"..." Elise couldn't hear the retort but she knew the angry voice to be James.

"You know what tonight is. It's dangerous Padfoot."

"..."

"Fine, go wallow in self pity! I'm going to find him." Elise heard the Fat Lady's portrait slam shut and footsteps go up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

"Sirius Black, what have you done now?" she wondered aloud as she descended.

No one else was in the Common Room so she quickly ran up the boys' staircase and knocked softly on their dormitory door.

"Sirius?"

No answer.

"It's me."

Still silence.

"What's the matter? What's James so angry about?"

"Please go away Ellie."

"No. I don't want you two fighting."

"I understand that but I don't want us two fighting either. You'll hear from James soon enough anyway."

Elise sighed. "I'm not going to let you be stubborn with me."

She tried the door. It was locked.

"What, like I'm not a witch? _Alohomora!_"

She marched over to his four-poster and pulled back the curtains. Sirius lay staring blankly at the hangings over his head.

"If you don't want me to be angry with you for whatever it is you did, we'd better talk about it now before Peter tells me all about it, huh?"

"Damned if I do, damned if I don't," he muttered.

"Exactly, so fess up. It's not like you haven't done stupid things before, right?"

Sirius sighed.

"Sorry. I'll be quiet then."

Sirius stared at the hangings for a while longer before turning his head to look at Elise. She started to say something but the look of total fear and remorse in Sirius's eyes stopped her.

"Snape knows," he said quietly.

"He knows what Sirius?"

"Well, he as good as knows." He looked away again.

"Please Sirius, we've so many secrets. What did you tell him?"

"I didn't tell him anything."

"Well...?"

"Prongs and I were saying bye to Moony before Madam Pomfrey took him to the Willow and when we came in we saw Snivellus watching them go."

He paused and looked away again.

"I just...I just hate him so much Ellie. I can never stop myself. He made some snide remark about Moony; I don't even remember what it was. James pulled out his wand but I...oh, Ellie, I told him all he had to do was to prod the knot on the tree trunk and he could get in after him." He rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in a pillow.

Elise didn't even know what to say. She didn't want to say anything either so she laid a tentative hand on Sirius's still shoulder. He let out a breath he had been holding in and she patted him gently on the back.

"I don't know why I still bother with you really," he mumbled to the pillow.

"What do you mean?"

He freed his face from the pillow and met her eyes. "I'm just not good enough. I can't be what you expect. I never live up to your expectations. But I still try and whenever I do it ends in a fiasco like this. There's just no point to it. I'll only make a mess of things the harder I try."

Elise blushed and looked away. "I...I'm so sorry. I never meant to be so controlling. I just thought I was being sensible...I never meant..."

"You were being sensible. We never think about the consequences of what we do and you do. It's great, but I'm not very good at it. James gets it, that's why he's so mad. I wonder what's happening out there..."

"It'll all be taken care of. The worst that can happen is Remus eating Snape, right? That wouldn't be too bad."

Sirius laughed derisively. "You know it wouldn't."

"Anyway, don't worry about what you think my expectations are. You wouldn't be you if you weren't reckless and stubborn. And you know how much I like you as you are, right?"

She looked back at him and they shared an embarrassed smile.

"It'll be okay. If James won't drop it, just keep apologizing. Be very understanding if Remus is angry. And more than anything else: avoid Snape. We've only got one year left, I think you can manage. But don't beat yourself up too much if you slip; I know I can be short with you sometimes but I hate it when we fight."

"You certainly do have a temper."

"And you're stubborn and reckless." She smiled and lay down next to him. "So, tell me what you find so interesting about these curtains; you were quite captivated with them when I came in."

"You always surprise me Ellie," he said, trying not to laugh.

"I certainly try to. I expect it's why you like me so much; I never get boring."

"Can I kiss you?"

"It's about bloody time."


	22. The Last Year

**What Life Could Have Been**

**The Last Year**

Elise spent the entire summer with her cousins. Manon had gotten married the previous year and she and her husband, Julien, had brought their four-month-old daughter to spend the summer with her grandparents. Elise adored the tiny baby; she spent many hours pampering Soline when her cousin needed to rest. Manon was so flattered that she named Elise godmother.

However, more time with her darling goddaughter meant less time with Sirius, whom she missed dreadfully. They used the two-way mirrors and wrote each other but she was reminded of their separation by little things that were hiding everywhere. The most irksome detail was the way that Julien reminded her of Sirius, a fact that she neglected to tell anyone for fear of dying of embarrassment. Their behavior was similar in many ways; no coincidence considering Julien was only a year older than Sirius. Elise caught herself watching him a lot, which meant she mentally kicked herself a lot too.

All things considered, it was really just as well that she spent so much time with Soline.

* * *

By the time September first rolled around, Elise thought she would burst with anticipation. They had gotten back to London only the day before and with the last minute school shopping she hadn't gotten to meet up with Sirius. Elise was all smiles as she kissed her parents goodbye and pushed her luggage cart into King's Cross Station and towards the border between platforms nine and ten.

When the bright red Hogwarts Express appeared, Elise couldn't help laughing. She couldn't remember being happier about term starting. He was waiting for her as she pushed her cart along looking for a compartment. Elise left her luggage cart and ran to Sirius, hugging him tightly.

"Miss me much?"

"A bit."

"I got a compartment already. Let me help you with that."

Sirius stowed her luggage in their compartment and they sat by the window, waiting for the others to arrive.

"You look nice," he said.

"Thanks. I try."

"So, did anything spectacular happen in France that you didn't tell me about?"

Elise grinned.

"What?"

"Well, I did do one interesting thing that I didn't tell you about yet. It's sort of a present, but sort of not."

"Ellie, that doesn't make any sense at all."

She got up, pulled the curtains and locked the compartment door.

"Okay, now you have to close your eyes," she said, sitting back down.

Sirius sighed and closed his eyes.

Elise moved away from him and pulled up her dress to expose her right hip.

"Okay, you can come look now, but you can't say anything dirty."

Sirius did a double take when he opened his eyes. "Ellie, what kind of gift is this supposed to be?"

"Come here and look."

Sirius moved to where she was sitting and looked closer. On Elise's right hip was the tattoo of a black star, about the size of a thumbnail.

"It's for you."

"Does that mean I can see it whenever I want to?" Sirius asked impishly.

"That's not what I meant. I mean it _stands_ for you."

"Oh. Why?"

"Honestly Sirius, you can't be this thick," she exclaimed.

"_Oh_. I see."

He looked at it again.

"Hmm."

"And you can see it if you ask me, but only if I say yes."

Sirius nodded as he reached out to touch her tattoo. He caressed it with his thumb; Elise made no move to stop him. They stared at each other as he stroked her hip. Neither could move.

"Sirius," she breathed, "Sirius, kiss me."

He moved to kiss her and she met him halfway. He kissed her deeply, running his tongue along her lips until she opened her mouth to let him in. He moved from her mouth along her jaw to her ear and finally down to the crook of her neck. When he kissed her there she could not stop a quiet moan from escaping her lips.

Just then the train whistle blew, announcing five minutes before departure.

"Blast," Sirius muttered.

"Well, that certainly went farther than I thought it would," Elise admitted, fixing her dress. "Happy belated birthday I guess."

He looked at her. "I hadn't even remembered that you'd forgotten."

Elise winked. "But you see, I didn't forget."

From outside the compartment Elise and Sirius heard the beginnings of a fight: Slytherins harassing Lily and James. Elise opened the curtains and unlocked the door.

"Don't take the bait Prongs," Sirius yelled down the corridor.

Moments later James and Lily appeared at the compartment door.

"You're one to talk," Lily said.

"No, I've reformed my evil ways," Sirius said solemnly.

Remus and Peter arrived shortly thereafter; Alice and Jane joined them after the train had started on its journey. The atmosphere of the compartment was much different this year. Maybe it was because Lily, Alice and Jane were there or maybe it was because they were seventh years. Remus and Alice were pouring over their new Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook. James, Lily and Jane were discussing the NEWTs that they would be taking at the end of the year; Peter listened on in horror. Elise had been reading _Les Misérables_ until Sirius asked her to read to him. He lay across the seat with his head in her lap and insisted that he would understand it even though it was in French.

When Snape and the other Slytherins decided to drop by James did nothing more than to bewitch the doorknob of the compartment so that it glowed red hot. Once the Slytherins had sustained third-degree burns they gave up and left. The rest of the train ride passed uneventfully and they arrived at Hogwarts under a clear night sky resplendent with stars and crowned by a thin crescent moon.

"This is our last year," Lily observed sadly as they walked through the great oak front doors.

"And we're gonna rule the school!" Sirius whooped as they made their way to the Great Hall.

"Look out first years, here comes Sirius Black," Elise warned.

"This is going to be some year," Remus said, as James and Sirius raced through the entrance hall, intent on making themselves look like a pair of complete idiots at the start of their last year. "At least they'll enjoy themselves."

Elise saw Professor McGonagall at the top of the stairs. "Until they get detention."


	23. Two Moments in Time

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: I'm back. Sorry I take so incredibly long to write. I'd like some opinions on a thought for the story by the way. Should I put it in two parts, like while they're in school and when they're adults, or just continue and have one long story? I've already got some later chapters planned so I'll need to make a decision sooner or later. Whatever makes it easier on my dear readers! R&R as usual please!**

**Two Moments in Time**

Sirius and James sat at the lake's edge one warm, spring afternoon in deep discussion. Many of those passing by did not know quite what to make of it, whether they understood the content or not.

"It's just not fair!" Sirius exclaimed in frustration. "Why're they always so secretive and elusive? It's like they're another species…"

"They kind of are Pads, in case you'd forgotten," James supplied.

Sirius grumbled and threw a clump of dirt into the lake. "But how do you ask them anything without them getting one of those looks on their faces?"

James shrugged. "I dunno mate, you'll figure it out eventually."

Sirius looked puzzled. "What do you think I'm worried about asking?"

"I'm assuming it's big or you wouldn't want to consult me so in depth."

"It's about as big as it gets!"

"That's what she said," James sniggered.

"Get stuffed Prongs."

"What!?"

"You'll need to be able to ask it too someday."

"I'm not nearly as awkward as you are Sirius."

"If you call all of your brilliant plans to get Lily's attention over the past six years anything but awkward, I'll get 'Awkward' tattooed on my forehead."

"Yes, well Lily's one thing but you're still kind of awkward around _her_."

Sirius grinned deviously. "We're not as awkward as you think."

"I don't want to know Pads…"

"I don't want to tell you."

They both sighed and stared in silence at the rippling surface of the Black Lake.

"What about…nope, never mind."

"Seriously? Padfoot it's like talking to any other person except you have to be really careful you don't do anything too stupid because you want to spend the rest of your life with them. You need to be polite, not too intense and obviously romantic or something. Just think about what they like and go from there. If it's appropriate, you'll know. Well, maybe you won't but she's kind enough to tell you when you're being inappropriate, isn't she?"

"Merlin's beard James, how do you do it?" Sirius asked.

"Not a clue. The only insight I've got is that you're crazier for her, but I could be wrong."

"I doubt anyone could be crazier for anyone than you are for Lily Evans."

"I think a good number of people would disagree with you Sirius."

Sirius considered these assertions. "James, I think we've both got it bad. You tell me when you're going to ask and I'll do the same, okay?"

"Deal."

* * *

Elise and Sirius sat under their favorite tree at the edge of the lake, listening to the sounds of spring and enjoying the other's presence. With NEWTs out of the way, Elise had time to think about everything else. In just a few short weeks the seventh years would be leaving Hogwarts and entering the wizarding world as adults. She was both excited and afraid.

Sirius had been giving her a very intense look for the past few minutes and it finally broke her out of her reverie. Elise couldn't quite pair an emotion with his gaze but she was both frightened and awed by it.

"Sirius?"

"Hmm?"

"What have you been thinking about? Just now you had the most intense look of adoration on your face…" she whispered.

He kept looking into her eyes. "The future and what could be."

"And just when I spoke to you?"

She saw panic in his eyes, but only for an instant.

"Er…"

"It's okay, you can tell me."

He sighed. "Your eyes."

"What?"

"I…I was looking at your eyes. I was just thinking…"

She held his hand and stroked it with her thumb. "C'mon Sirius…"

He moved his hand to the spot where her tattoo was. "I was thinking about how beautiful a little girl with your eyes would be," he whispered, staring into her own.

Elise's breath caught in her throat when Sirius moved his hand from her hip to her stomach. She sat up and faced him; Sirius immediately ducked his head, blushing under her gaze.

"I'm going for a walk," she said, getting up and walking away.

"Ellie…"

"I just need to be alone," she called back.

Sirius fell back against the tree, gazing into the branches despairingly. "You had to open your big mouth, didn't you? Always mucking things up."

It didn't reassure him when Elise wasn't present at dinner.


	24. At Long Last

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: Wow, I'm back with more already!**

**At Long Last**

Elise was fine after a day or two, though she still could not help blushing when Sirius caught her staring at him. Before they knew it, term was over and they had packed their trunks for the last time.

The train ride home was much quieter than usual. The boys had no desire to hex Slytherins; no one knew exactly what the future would hold. Elise and Sirius sat silently by the window, watching the trees rush by. She lay against his shoulder and he had an arm around her waist; their twined hands rested in her lap. Elise had told him that morning that she was still going to France over the summer, though she could do as she pleased now. She hoped the sad feeling she had was due to the fact that she was parting ways with some of her school friends, not a premonition of things to come.

She kissed Sirius goodbye on the platform and towed her trunk to where her parents were waiting for her, looking back many times. He watched her until she disappeared through the barrier.

"Sirius, what's up with you?" Remus asked.

James put a hand on Remus's shoulder before Sirius could answer. "He's fine, right?"

Sirius nodded and followed James with his trunk.

* * *

The boys were all staying at James's parents' house in London for the summer, now that they could come and go as they pleased. After a few days of moping around, James decided that Sirius needed a distraction and so that's how the four young wizards ended up at a Muggle sushi bar. Though he acted like it, James knew nothing about sushi.

The four had a great time, falling easily back into their old rambunctious tendencies. A great time, that is, until their waitress brought their fortune cookies.

"'Look before you leap'," James read with disgust. "That's a bit clichéd, don't you think?"

"No better than mine," Remus grimaced. "'The wind of romance blows around you.' What's that supposed to mean?"

James shrugged. "Pete?"

"I ate mine," Peter mumbled.

"Pads? What've you got?"

Sirius was staring at his tiny slip of paper with disbelief in his eyes.

"Sirius?"

"'Go forth and seek your heart's desire for it shall be yours,'" he said hoarsely.

"Oh dear," Remus whispered.

Sirius looked around the table at his friends. "You know I've got to go. I…I'm sorry. I'll be back eventually. Don't worry about me." He stood abruptly, threw some Muggle money on the table for the food and walked from the restaurant.

"Good luck mate," James said, crumpling his fortune on the table.

* * *

Elise spent her days in the gardens playing with her goddaughter, reading and swimming in the canals. She was happy for the distraction of Quidditch when there were enough people around for a game. But even the distraction of beautiful little Soline could not keep Sirius from her thoughts; in fact, it often made her think of him more because of their conversation by the lake. She had not heard a peep from the two-way mirror all week.

One rainy day she thought she heard Padfoot barking as she lay reading on a chaise longue. Elise was at the window when Soline came toddling over.

"Un chien?" she asked eagerly.

"Non, ma chérie. C'est rien," Elise told the girl, picking her up and returning to the chaise. "Tu as besoin d'une sieste." She lay down on the chaise longue, holding Soline and singing softly to her in French.

When her goddaughter had fallen asleep, Elise lay still in the cozy tower room that she had called home for so many summers, looking at the paintings on the ceiling and listening to the rain. She eventually fell asleep and dreamed of the conversation she'd had with Sirius by the lake, only it ended a little… differently.

She awoke suddenly, he cheeks flushed, breath coming in gasps. Soline slept on. Elise realized it had not been her dream that had woken her, but a noise outside. She carefully settled Soline on the chaise and went to the window. Nothing stood out in the black and rainy night. When she closed the window she heard the noise again. Turning slowly, she went to the window and nearly died of fright when Sirius Black leaned in her window.

"What the hell are you doing?!" she whispered as he climbed inside and handed her his broomstick. She shoved it back at him as soon as he was inside. "Well?"

Sirius made no futile attempt at defending himself and pulled her into a cold, wet kiss. Elise thought about pulling away and yelling at him some more but she was too happy to be in his arms. She leaned into him and kissed back.

"How'd you—."

He put a finger to her lips. "Me first," he whispered.

Sirius rummaged in his pocket and before Elise could think about what was happening he was down on one knee.

"Oh my," she whispered.

"Elise Silvestri, I love you. Will you marry me and be my wife?"

She was nodding and crying before he had finished, but she managed a 'yes' before she flung herself at him. Sirius was completely bewildered as she cried into his shoulder, catching phrases like 'so stupid' and 'thought you'd never.'

When she looked up at him, her expression was one of sheer joy.

"My heart feels like it could burst right now," she confided. "Oh Sirius…I…" She grinned and wiped at her tear stained cheeks.

"Here, you never let me do this." He took her hand away from her face and slid a simple diamond ring onto her finger. "I hope you like it."

Elise held her hand out and the diamond glittered in the firelight. She simply nodded and wiped her tears away again.

"Are you going to stay?" she asked quietly.

"I can. I told the guys I might be awhile."

"How did you get here?"

"I flew. We went out to this Muggle restaurant and ate…sushi and there were these cookies with fortunes on them and mine told me to come to you, so I did."

"That's so romantic," she sighed, crawling onto his lap, despite the fact that he was completely soaked. He hugged her tightly.

"Seeing you with that little girl, Ellie, that was indescribable. This wonderful feeling welled up inside of me, thinking of you and her…I just…"

"You were really serious that day by the lake, weren't you?"

He nodded. "I've never been particularly articulate around you but I love you so completely Elise and I know, even at eighteen, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter what happens."

"I think you've gotten past being inarticulate," she said breathlessly, trying to stop the tears that kept welling up in her eyes. "I feel the same way and I was incredibly frustrated with you for being so stupid all these years. And then you'd have your moments where you spoke plainly and I knew you felt something but you were always so guarded around me that I could never tell."

"You do have a bit of a temper."

"Do not."

"James has been giving me crap for years about me being worse than him over Evans, I guess he was right."

"Well, I liked you better to start with, Lily never liked James. That's why it was so hard; you were in love with your best friend. I know. It sucked sometimes, believe me," she said.

"Why is this so easy now?"

Elise shrugged.

"I've never told you how beautiful you are, have I?" he asked.

She blushed. "You're not that bad yourself."

"How long?"

"Since that day on the train," she replied without a second thought.

"Me too."

They watched each other in silence, content by the other's presence. When Soline moved in her sleep, Elise suddenly remembered her and wordlessly extricated herself from Sirius's arms to take her down to bed. When she returned Sirius was lounging on the chaise in his t-shirt and boxers. Elise raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Too much too soon?"

She shook her head. "Not if you keep the rest of your clothes on," she said, snuggling up next to him. "You're not too cold are you?"

"Nope."

"Good." She kissed his cheek and closed her eyes.

"I love you Ellie," he whispered, before closing his own.

**A/N: you knew it was coming, didn't you?**

**Basic French:**

**un chien: a dog**

**Non, ma cherie. C'est rien: No, my dear. It's nothing.**

**Tu as besoin d'une sieste: You need a nap.**

**I love French, it's so pretty.**


	25. A Year in the Life

What Life Could Have Been

**A/N: I have returned with a very, very long chapter for your readeing pleasure. I hope you enjoy! Updates will probably be more sporadic because I have started college...**

A Year in the Life

**July**

Sirius stayed the month with Elise in France. She devoted her time to Soline, and when he was not with them, Sirius found that playing a game called soccer with the local adolescents was a pleasant distraction. But truthfully, he did spend most of his time with Elise and the little girl. He would chase her and play with her as Padfoot and fly around upside-down on his broomstick, which amused her to no end.

Elise was constantly surprised by the things Sirius was capable of. She would never have imagined that he would be so captivated by Soline, but here they were not a month out of Hogwarts and she had to keep reminding herself they weren't a little family. At least not yet. Elise found herself thinking of the afternoon by the lake on an almost daily basis as she and Sirius cared for Soline.

"You're such a different person when you're just with me," she commented one day. They had taken a picnic lunch out in the fields while Soline napped.

Sirius shrugged. "We're not at school anymore, makes sense to grow up."

Elise laughed. "Now that's something I never thought I'd hear you say."

"Is it so hard to believe I would finally realize I was in love with you after five years? I'm sure you realized it sooner than that…"

She smiled and leaned against him. "Not hard to believe. Just a relief I guess. You boys could be so single minded. No wonder it took Lily and James ages…"

Sirius toyed with a strand of her hair. "I wish we could stay here forever…"

**August**

They returned to England mid-August. Elise brought Sirius home with her to tell her parents about the engagement. They were delighted of course; they remembered Elise's summers spent away from Sirius vividly, especially the last one…

That night they met up with James, Lily, Remus and Peter for a 'night on London,' as James advertised. This simply consisted of dinner at the same Muggle sushi bar the four boys had discovered at the beginning of the summer. Apparently, it was a fascinating place that they frequented whenever they had the chance. Lily, being Muggleborn, did not find anything inherently interesting about sushi and laughed the whole evening as the others tried many dishes of questionable origin. The fortune cookies didn't have any particularly enlightening news this evening.

The only part of the evening that bothered Elise at all was the way James was acting. He kept shooting Remus and Peter meaningful looks which were received and returned with annoyance and confusion, respectfully. She couldn't quite place the kind of look he was giving them either, and she considered herself an expert on the looks of James Potter and Sirius Black after five long years. When she finally asked James if he was quite alright he just coughed and looked inconvenienced so she dropped it.

"Want to go for a walk? I know a nice neighborhood," Sirius asked once they had paid the bill and gone their separate ways.

"Sure."

They walked in silence for a long ways. Sirius took them past a quiet residential area where they didn't look out of place at all. The route through the neighborhood park was lined with fragrant flowers and crickets chirped in the hedges as the sun set and the street lamps came up.

"What do you think?" he asked as they turned out of the park and down a street flanked by charming little houses.

"This is a beautiful place, it feels magical at sunset. And the houses are adorable…" Elise trailed off, still looking around.

"Do you want to go inside one?"

"Sirius, do you really think that's wise?"

"Well, it's not wise, but it would be fun and I know you'd enjoy it. C'mon Ellie, we're wizards. We won't get caught."

She looked up and down the street; it was deserted. She sighed. "Okay, but you be careful when you pick one."

When he had picked an empty house, though she didn't know how he did it, Elise stepped cautiously over the threshold, afraid an alarm or something would go off.

"It's okay. I checked," Sirius said from the living room. "Come in here."

"This is the most beautiful house," she whispered. Elise happily explored the whole house, forgetting completely that they were trespassing.

"Muggle homes are so clean," she remarked to Sirius when she came back to the living room.

Sirius was lounging on the sofa, watching her closely as she moved to the mantelpiece and began examining the knick-knacks arranged there. Elise thought they were rather odd knick-knacks for a Muggle mantelpiece, but then she had never been to a Muggle home before. It was only when she got to the picture in the middle that her hand paused.

The picture was moving.

"Sirius," she whispered urgently. "Sirius this picture is moving. Muggles don't have moving pictures…"

He sat up. "Who's it of? Do we know them?" She shot him an angry look and re-examined the picture.

Elise gasped and dropped the picture. The glass cracked as it hit the floor.

"Careful," Sirius said. "That's a good picture."

He repaired the glass with a wave of his wand.

"Sirius, why are we in that picture?"

He grinned.

"What?" she pouted.

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"What do you mean a surprise?"

"Welcome home, Ellie."

**September**

September was a great month. Elise found she was very suited to having her own home and she loved more than anything else being able to come home and have Sirius there, and vice versa. She loved cooking meals in her own kitchen and getting her own mail, _their_ own mail. More than anything Elise loved waking up nestled in his arms, being able to lie in bed just listening to Sirius breathe in his sleep. Sometimes she felt clichéd but the feeling quickly vanished.

September was also when the Ministry began its annual Auror training program; both Elise and Sirius were very busy with that as well. They quickly found out that regardless of your OWL and NEWT scores you still had to do the boring theory work in training and both quickly tired of the paperwork that needed filing on a daily basis. At least they saw nearly everyone from Hogwarts who wasn't in Slytherin.

Finally, September was also the month when Albus Dumbledore called the first meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. All of the former Gryffindors were invited to the meeting and they noticed many others from their days at Hogwarts, though no Slytherins were among the familiar faces. Dumbledore had called the meeting because, in his words, they could no longer ignore the warning signs and action that the Ministry had not taken needed to be taken by someone else. It was a solemn affair and few besides Dumbledore spoke on the matter of the coming war. Elise held tightly to Sirius's hand throughout the meeting, pale-faced and attentive.

**October**

"Are we going to have candy for the Muggle children on Halloween?" Elise asked Sirius one morning.

"I hadn't thought about it. Couldn't we do something more fun, since we're wizards an all that?"

Elise considered this. "That could be fun, what would we do? Don't they usually say something about treats and then we give them candy?"

"Ellie, why do you think I know about Muggle traditions?"

She shrugged.

"But I'll give you a treat if you want," he said nonchalantly, pouring himself a glass of pumpkin juice. He looked at her from the corner of his eye.

"Why do you still do that? We're getting married; you can't offend me with your sexual innuendoes. Not that I found them particularly offensive in the first place…"

Sirius just shook his head.

"What?" she asked. "It's not like anyone could completely resist your shameless flirting. Now, are we getting some candy for the Muggle kids or not?" she repeated, crossing her arms and fixing him with a stern look.

"Ooh, I love it when you get angry with me. If I resist giving you an answer for another half-hour, will you punish me?" he taunted.

"Don't push your luck Sirius Black." She turned and left the kitchen.

He grinned, jumping off the kitchen counter and following her.

**November**

"I can't believe I'm getting married in a few weeks," Elise commented to Lily one afternoon.

Lily scoffed. "_I_ can't believe James hasn't asked me yet. I honestly never thought Sirius would get it together before James, but I guess I was wrong."

"But he is going to ask you," Elise encouraged.

"If he doesn't do it soon I'm going to ask him. There's a war brewing! It's not like we can plan years into the future; who knows what'll happen."

Elise grimaced.

"Don't tell me you haven't had those same thoughts," Lily said.

"Of course I have. I just try to ignore them because I get really upset. And I don't like Sirius to know how much all of this Auror training and Order business scares me. I know he'd want to take me away if he knew how I felt."

"That's ridiculous, we're all scared."

Elise nodded, staring at the coffee table.

"You've sent out invitations already, right?"

"Most of them…"

"Having second thoughts?

"Lily! How could you say that? No, I'm still thinking about the uncertain future. It terrifies me."

"Can I help with wedding stuff to get it off your mind?"

Elise smiled. "Sure. Will you be my maid of honor?"

**December**

They were married December 9th in a small church in London. The ceremony sped by and all Elise could really remember was saying 'I do' and receiving a very passionate kiss right in front of her parents. The next thing she knew she was swirling around a dance floor in her husband's arms, positively beaming. She had quite a good time dancing and feeding Sirius cake and she wasn't at all surprised when Lily caught her bouquet and had to excuse herself because she was blushing to match her vibrant hair. James ran after her and neither was seen for quite a while.

"We never picked a place for our honeymoon. Where do you want to go?" Sirius asked. The evening was winding down and they were the only couple left on the dance floor.

"I don't care, I just need you."

He smiled and drew her closer.

"Although…"

"Yes?" he asked.

"I've heard rumors that the cloak closet is pretty cozy," she said innocently.

His eyes widened. "Have you had too much to drink?"

"What?"

"We could just go home," he tried to say seductively.

"Sirius Black has lost his sense of adventure now that he's tied the knot. I never thought I'd see the day. What am I going to do now that you're boring?" she said forlornly.

"Did you just say 'boring'?"

Elise batted her eyes at him. They had stopped dancing, not that anyone was paying any attention.

"C'est une possibilité, mon cher."

"Cheating."

"Quoi? Qu'est-ce que ce mot 'cheating'?"

Sirius sighed and jerked his head towards her desired destination.

"Who knew I'd develop a weakness for her French?" he grumbled as she danced ahead of him towards the cloak check in question.

**January**

Married life didn't feel remarkably different to Elise, with one obvious exception.

"What, _every_ night?" Lily asked in astonishment.

Elise shrugged. "Mostly. Sometimes in the morning."

Lily gawked.

"Oh stop. I don't see any reason not to. I mean," she blushed, "he's so very good at it. Our banter somehow just naturally leads to…"

"Sex. All the time."

"Like you and James haven't fooled around. C'mon Lily. I'd like you to give me a believable answer as to where you disappeared to at my wedding."

Lily blushed.

"I thought as much," Elise said smugly, finishing her tea.

"Are you going so soon?" Lily asked.

Elise winked. "Why, of course. It's my birthday; I've got to be getting home."

**February**

"Damn."

"It's Valentine's Day, Sirius. What did you expect me to wear?"

"Um…something?"

**March**

Elise came home one day to a strange sight. Parked in front of the house was an odd shiny black…vehicle? It looked a little beat up. She knew it was Sirius's doing.

"Sirius?" she called, walking into the house. "Are you home?"

She climbed the stairs, hearing motion on the floor above.

"Oh! What happened?" she gasped when she saw him.

Sirius was in the bathroom cleaning a long scrape down the length of his arm.

He looked up when she came in and then back to what he was doing.

"Nothing, love. It'll be fine to heal once I've cleaned it."

"Were you attacked?"

He looked sheepish at her continued questioning, knowing he would not get off without answering.

"Well, I was riding that motorcycle out front. I'm not too good at it yet, but given some time I will be. What do you think?"

She blinked. "Motorcycle? Isn't that a Muggle vehicle? Sirius, why do you have a motorcycle?"

He shrugged. "It was cheap."

"So you mean to say, it was a passing fancy of yours and _you just bought a motorcycle_?"

"But Ellie, that's not the best part," he said excitedly.

"What's the best part then?"

"It can fly!"

"Oh for Merlin's sake! Why on Earth would you want a _flying_ motorcycle?"

"Well if you want to look at it that way, first of all, wizards don't ride motorcycles, so I'll be relatively safer from Dark Wizards. Secondly, if they do show up, I can fly!"

She shook her head. "Why do I love you so much? You're just going to get yourself killed…"

He finished cleaning his wound and muttered a spell to heal it. "Good as new. I promise I won't get killed."

"But look what you did to your arm!"

Sirius picked up his torn and grubby shirt. "Will you mend this for me? I've never been good with the spell and I like this shirt a lot."

Elise was leaning against the doorway, contemplating what to do with him.

"Are you still mad? I love you, you know, even though I do reckless stuff."

"I can't decide whether your recklessness is attractive or annoying," she said from the doorway.

"I can help if you like," he said, coming to stand by her.

"What? And go do something more dangerous? I don't think so. I just might have to put you under house arrest until you learn how to mend clothes by magic."

"I'm a fast learner, what will we do with the rest of the day?"

"I'll think of something. Maybe I can teach you to cook!"

"Ellie…"

**April**

Sirius and Elise arrived home from the latest Order meeting in silence. Neither spoke until they were in bed, or rather Sirius was in bed and Elise was sitting on the covers next to him staring at the opposite wall.

"Ellie…?"

"Please don't do it," she whispered.

He sat up and put his arms around her.

"You don't have to," she said, burying her face in his chest.

"Be reasonable. It's a very important mission. Besides, no one but you, James, Remus and Peter know that I'm an Animagus. I'll be able to conceal myself quite well."

She cried softly and shook her head.

"You've been worrying about something like this for a while, haven't you?"

She nodded. "For months."

"I know the whole situation is dangerous, and I wish there was a different way. I just don't think there is." He paused, took a moment to comfort her and continued, "I think it would be safer if you went and stayed with your cousins for a few months. It'll be over the summer just like before…"

Elise looked up at him, horrified. "You want me to leave you?"

"I want you to be safe. I don't want anyone to hurt you to try to get to me."

"I'd never let you do that."

"You wouldn't have a choice; you know I'd do anything to protect you. Please. You'll feel better with your cousins. As far as the Order knows, the danger is only here."

Elise opened her mouth to argue but Sirius silenced her with a kiss. She sighed into his touch, eager to occupy her mind with more engaging activities.

**May**

The first few days in France were difficult for Elise. Most of the chateau was empty this early in the summer. She spent most of her days in the library, reading difficult books in French to keep her mind busy; though even this could not keep her from thinking of Sirius indefinitely. Elise made herself sick with worry on many occasions, often waking in a panic to find him not there.

When Manon and Julien arrived with Soline for the summer, Elise had mixed feelings. Seeing the darling girl brought back memories of the previous summer, though she had grown so much that Elise had to be on her toes all day just to keep up with her. All in all it was better that they were there.

**June**

As the summer progressed more and more members of Elise's extended family arrived at the chateau. She was able to escape her anxieties for most of the day, surrounded by people, but her mornings and nights were not improving. She was restless and sleep deprived and often had no appetite for all the nausea her worry caused.

One day when she had not appeared by mid-afternoon, Manon went to her room and knocked softly on the door.

"Elise? Elise, are you okay?"

She opened the door when she did not get a response.

Elise lay in bed crying softly, her well-loved copy of Les Misérables clutched in her hand.

"Elise, ma chérie, what is the matter?" Manon asked, coming to sit at her side.

"I'm so worried. I miss him so much and we can't have any contact. I just…I…," she managed, wiping at her tear-stained cheeks.

Manon hugged her, stroking her hair. "It will be okay, chérie. He will come back to you."

Elise nodded, still crying.

"Are you okay physically? You're not sick or anything, are you? I could have a doctor here by this evening if you think you might be ill. Or I could make you a potion. Please, let me help you."

Elise wiped her eyes and shook her head. "I can't think of anything. I haven't done anything out of the ordinary lately, unless excessive crying and worry can make you sick."

"Maybe you're just depressed. Sunlight will make you happier," Manon suggested.

A look of realization spread over Elise's face.

"Oh," she said quietly.

"What? What did you remember? Elise…?"

She was quickly counting on her fingers and did not answer her cousin.

"Elise…"

If a face could be both overjoyed and miserable at the same time, then Elise's was a perfect example. In a tiny voice Manon could barely hear she said, "I think I'm pregnant."

**A/N: Gasp!**

**FRENCH TRANSLATIONS**

"C'est une possibilité, mon cher."/ It's a possibility my dear.

"Quoi? Qu'est-ce que ce mot 'cheating'?"/ What? What is this word 'cheating'?

Ma chérie/ my dear


	26. News

What Life Could Have Been

**A/N: I bring you one more!**

News

Sirius safely completed his mission, as he had so boldly predicted, though not without a few scratches. He would have flown straight to France had the Order not required that he lie low in a safe house for a few weeks after such an extensive mission. When he was finally allowed his freedom in mid-September, he took off for the Chateau de Cygne with only his wand and travelling cloak.

After her initial discovery, Elise was able to calm down and enjoy her time in France. She had a link to Sirius that she knew would bring him back to her, no matter how dangerous the mission. Soline was very curious about her growing belly and when Manon told her that it was a baby growing inside, the little girl was absolutely delighted.

Elise was positively radiant throughout the summer. She spent her days in the gardens with Soline or wandering the grounds. Manon insisted that she move to a room on the ground floor so as not to slip on the stairs. The appartement that Lucienne moved her into was light and airy and made her feel more like an expectant mother than she already did. She would spend leisurely mornings in bed reading to her unborn child and watching out the wide windows for a shaggy black dog.

"Bon matin, ma belle cousine enceinte. Comment ça va aujourd'hui?" Elise's cousin Julien asked, coming into her room with a tray and a copy of the Daily Prophet.

Elise moaned and rolled over, not ready to get up yet. Julien set the tray down and knelt next to the bed.

"Tu sais que ton mari retournera. Tu n'es pas triste encore, oui?"

She opened her eyes and rolled over at the worry in his voice. "Non, Julien. Je suis juste fatiguée. Est-ce que Soline se réveille?" she asked.

He smiled. "Oui, elle se réveille. Mais, j'ai pensé que vous avez besoin d'un repos."

"Ah, merci." She lay back against the pillows, bringing her arms around her pregnant belly and smiling. "Il fait chaud pour Septembre, n'est-ce pas?" she asked idly.

Julien sat on the bed and they conversed in French for a while. Elise had picked it back up quickly and she loved the sound of the language; she read Les Misérables aloud to her baby in the evenings.

Both were startled when the doors to the appartement banged open.

"Ellie!" Sirius was halfway across the room before he took in the sight of her and panicked.

Julien took out his wand, which gave Sirius the completely wrong idea.

Elise sighed. Some things never changed.

"Julien, allez et dites à Manon que mon mari est arrivé. Ignorez-lui. Merci," Elise said calmly, not taking her eyes from Sirius.

Once Julien had left, Sirius bounded across the room and stood by the bed, looking down at Elise with a perplexed and hurt expression.

"Oh mon Dieu," she sighed. "Really? Really Sirius? I can tell exactly what you're thinking by looking at me like that. Why on Earth would you think that I was unfaithful to you? I've been miserable without you!"

A look of realization dawned on his face. "You mean…?"

"Of course it's yours! Julien is my cousin!"

He looked slightly ashamed. "Oh, right."

Elise smiled. "Now, get over here," she patted the bed next to her, "because I haven't seen you in almost five months."

He eagerly complied, vaulting right over her and landing in a heap of pillows.

"Nice place you got here," he observed as she snuggled up next to him.

"Lucienne didn't want to risk me slipping on the stairs. And before you go off about me not telling you, you told me not to have any contact. It's your own fault."

Sirius was relatively calm about the whole situation; he gently stroked her belly under the covers and leaned against her head. "What were you saying to your cousin?"

"I told him to ignore my stupid husband and tell his wife that you were here. You always make such a fuss," she mused, fidgeting with his sleeve.

"Well…yeah okay. I'm over it though." He grinned.

She sighed happily, glad to be safely reunited.

"Is it safe to go home now? I want to see my parents. And James and Lily and Remus."

"Well, of course we have to go home. James and Lily are getting married in a week!"

**FRENCH TRANSLATIONS**

"Bon matin, ma belle cousine enceinte. Comment ça va aujourd'hui?"/ Good morning, my beautiful pregnant cousin.

"Tu sais que ton mari retournera. Tu n'es pas triste encore, oui?"/ You know that your husband will return. You're not sad again, right?

"Non, Julien. Je suis juste fatiguée. Est-ce que Soline se réveille?"/ No Julien. I'm just tired. Is Soline awake?

"Oui, elle se réveille. Mais, j'ai pensé que vous avez besoin d'un repos."/ Yes, she's awake. But I thought you needed a rest.

"Ah, merci."/ Thanks.

"Il fait chaud pour Septembre, n'est-ce pas?"/ It's warm for September, isn't it?

"Julien, allez et dites à Manon que mon mari est arrivé. Ignorez-lui. Merci,"/ Julien, go and tell Manon that my husband has arrived. Ignore him. Thank you.

Oh mon Dieu/ Oh my God


	27. Expecting

What Life Could Have Been

**A/N: I'm back! And you can expect a few more chapters shortly because I've already got them started. Read, review and enjoy!**

Expecting

"Sirius, what exactly do you think you're doing?" Elise asked sleepily.

"Er…what do you think I'm doing?" he replied.

She groaned. "_I_ think I'm trying to sleep. Do you remember the Hogwarts motto?"

"The Latin one about the sleeping dragon?"

"Well, it applies as well to your sleeping wife who happens to be eight months pregnant. Can't you just sleep like a normal person?"

Sirius sat next to her on the bed, as she pulled the covers over her head. He wasn't sure how to tell her it was after eleven o'clock. Especially if she was comparing herself to a sleeping dragon.

"Ellie?" He peeked cautiously under the blankets.

"What?"

"Well, a few things actually."

She sighed and pulled the blankets down past her face.

"First, you have a letter from Lily that says 'Sirius, let Elise open this' on the outside." He set the letter down by her chin. "Second, I thought you liked it when I was sweet and cuddly, as you like to put it."

"But not when I'm sleeping!"

"Which brings me to my last point. Beautiful though you are when you sleep, believe me I get almost as much enjoyment out of it as you do, it's after eleven o'clock and I thought it would be wise to wake you up."

She sighed. "Why are you so annoying when you're charming?"

"Because you're pregnant and your hormones are doing the talking. I'm always charming, though. That's not your hormones."

"Well, I suppose it's okay if you're trying to be sweet. I'm sorry if I get snappy sometimes. I know how excited you are," Elise allowed, trying to hide her smile.

"You should open Lily's letter. I want to know what it says."

"Oh, alright."

Elise sat up and he settled down next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head.

"You know you go overboard with your hovering sometimes, right?" she commented, breaking the seal on the letter.

"When the baby comes and you're exhausted you'll be thankful that I'm an accomplished hoverer," he pointed out.

Elise scanned the letter. "Oh! How wonderful. Lily's pregnant too!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'd better go warn James. You pregnant women can be rather troublesome."

Elise hit him with a pillow. "You can't tease me, I'm pregnant."

"You use that as an excuse for a lot of things..."

"It's true!"

"Well that's too bad because I seem to recall that you find it sexy when I'm mischievous. Compliments like that go to my head."

Elise sighed and shook her head.

"I love you," he said.

She smiled. "I know. You probably should warn James. I have a feeling he's going to drive Lily insane. He seems like a hoverer too. Ooh, the baby's kicking," she said, holding his hand to her belly.

They lay together in silence, hands feeling the baby's movement.

Elise kissed him on the cheek. "Only a few more weeks," she said breathlessly.

He squeezed her hand and kissed her back. "I'll go make you some breakfast."

All things considered, she really did appreciate all of Sirius's hovering.

* * *

By the time Elise went into labor, Sirius's hovering had reached epic proportions and she had written James and Lily to have them there as well.

"Sirius, please calm down. Women do this every day and they have been for thousands of years. How do you think you got here? Or me f or that matter…" Elise said as calmly as she could.

"Oh really Ellie, don't bring up my mother during the birth of our child! My parents are the last thing I want to think about."

She squeezed his hand. "Sorry. I know you'll be a wonderful father. Don't even think about it. Are James and Lily here yet?"

He raised an eyebrow. "James and Lily are coming?"

"Oh, well naturally. I thought you could use some company, and some distraction," she said innocently.

Sirius frowned. "Ellie…"

"You don't have to leave me if you don't want to. I'm not saying that, I'd never say that. But you've never seen a baby born either."

"If you think that I wouldn't be here just because—."

"Sirius, for Merlin's sake, do _not_ argue with me while I'm in labor!"

"Right, yes. How thoughtless of me." He nodded fervently, kissing her cheek and wiping her sweaty brow.

She smiled. "Good, now will you Floo St. Mungo's again and see if someone is on their way? I can't say I'm particularly comfortable here and I don't want you to have to deliver this baby by yourself."

His eyes widened and he quickly left the room. Elise heard two popping noises from the other room, signaling the arrival of two people by Apparition. She also heard Sirius directing them to their bedroom in a nervous manner.

"Sirius, calm down!" she called as James and Lily entered the room. Lily ushered James back out to control Sirius, who now had his head in the fireplace filled with green flames.

"How are you dear?" Lily asked gently, settling in the chair Sirius had recently vacated.

"I'm not terribly comfortable to tell you the truth," Elise replied breathlessly. "I'm quite ready for this baby to be born."

Lily patted her hand. "Someone from St. Mungo's will be here soon," she reassured her.

"Yes, they will!" Sirius called triumphantly, bounding into the room with James behind him.

His grey eyes sparkled and he had soot smeared across his nose and cheeks. He sat down on the bed beside her and Elise had to control her laughter so she could breathe properly.

"You'd better not be like _that_," Lily said as Elise rubbed the soot from her besotted husband's face.

James nodded silently, intent on containing his laughter.

* * *

Penelope Céline Black was born on January 17th 1980 around eleven o'clock in the evening. She was everything her parents had wanted and more. She had her mother's blue eyes and her father's black hair. Elise insisted she had Sirius's elegant face and he insisted she did not, afraid of his Black family blood. He was eventually silenced when his exhausted wife fell asleep holding their newborn daughter.

James and Lily left Sirius sitting at Elise's side while they went into the kitchen to make tea. Making tea was always the right thing to do.

"Padfoot, they'll be okay if you leave them for a few minutes. Come have some tea," James called from the kitchen.

Sirius reluctantly joined them at the table, though he kept looking over his shoulder until Lily insisted that he switch seats with her. He sipped his tea thoughtfully, watching James and Lily look at each other awkwardly.

He set his cup down. "What is it with you two? You were fine earlier…"

"Don't know what you mean. You must be really tired," James said.

Sirius rolled his eyes and poured himself another cup of tea. "You're thinking about being parents. I can tell." He started laughing. "It's such an amazing feeling…I can't even describe it. But you'll know what I mean in July."

Lily smiled and held James's hand on the table. Sirius began sipping his tea, once again in deep thought.

* * *

"Are you going to be able to sleep with her in another room?" Elise asked when Sirius had been staring at the ceiling for a good half-hour.

"Hmm?"

"You're so attached to her already; I'm going to have to vie for your affections, aren't I?" she teased, snuggling closer to him.

He laughed quietly and stroked her hair. "Happy birthday Ellie."

"I'd completely forgotten."

She felt him smile against her cheek and place his hand on her now empty belly. "Let's have another."

"I think I need a bit of a break," she whispered.

"I know, but later."

"Okay."


	28. Prophecy

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: Sorry for the long hiatus, school is demanding.  
**

**Prophecy**

Elise and Sirius were completely enthralled by their daughter. Elise decided to forego finishing her Auror training to care for her child; she spent hours simply watching her baby girl, delighting in every movement she made. Sirius would often return home to find her lying asleep on their bed with little Penny cradled to her breast. He would lie beside her and gently kiss her awake and they would watch over Penelope together.

"My darling, you have the same expression while you sleep," Elise noted to Sirius one evening.

"You watch me that often?" he teased.

"I watch both of you that often. I happen to be up quite a lot in the middle of the night."

"And asleep quite a lot in the middle of the day."

"And just what are you trying to say to me, Sirius Black?"

He smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "Only that I love watching you while you sleep too, Elise Black."

* * *

Moments of happiness became harder and harder to find as the threat of Lord Voldemort and his malevolent followers grew stronger. At James's insisting, Lily refrained from Order missions during her pregnancy, though both she and Elise still attended the meetings, though they gained little comfort from it.

They spent most of their afternoons together, drinking tea, talking about motherhood and worrying about their husbands and friends who were out fighting for the cause. One cold and rainy spring day, Lily arrived quite beside herself with worry.

"Lily! Whatever is the matter? Come here and get dry," Elise said to her very wet friend. She sat Lily down by the fireplace and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. "I'll get you some tea."

When Lily was warmed, dried and calmed, Elise asked her again what it was that was troubling her.

Lily withdrew a letter from an inner pocket of her robe. "We had this from Dumbledore today," she said, handing the letter to Elise. "Read it for yourself."

She watched as Elise's confused expression changed to one of horror.

"Oh, Lily. Oh, this is quite terrible. I…What are you going to do? Have the Longbottoms had this same letter then? What do you think Dumbledore will do?"

"Please, don't panic Ellie."

"Oh, right. I'm sorry."

"Dumbledore is a great man. I have no doubt that he will think of a solution," she said serenely. Elise could tell she was merely shoving her panic aside, but she knew it was what Lily had to do. "Shall we talk of something else? I've wonderful plans for a garden this year."

* * *

The birth of a healthy baby boy to the Potters on July 31st, 1980, christened Harry James Potter, was a solemn event. Sent into hiding shortly after Dumbledore had given them news of the prophecy, they were almost completely isolated from the wizarding world.

Much of the next year passed quietly for the Potters and their friends. Dumbledore assured them that hiding was only temporary, that he would find another, better way for them to live in safety. That a triumph over Lord Voldemort could come without their deaths.

Elise's worry grew with every passing day. She could not fight her sense of foreboding. It wasn't fair that a life that had been so happy had to be eaten away like this. She was happily married with a beautiful daughter and had the best friends she could ask for. And _all_ of it was threatened for reasons she wasn't even entirely sure of. She and Sirius wrote the Potters almost daily, remembering all the birthdays and holidays, keeping their friends as close as they could. They watched each other's children grow through pictures and words, laughed at each other's joys, cried at each other's pains.

A week or so before Halloween, Dumbledore came up with a brilliant plan: a Fidelius Charm. Lily's letter radiated relief at this development. There would be nothing safer, especially with Sirius as their Secret Keeper. Only Sirius saw this as a problem. He thought the choice was too obvious, and he knew Elise would live in constant fear. He suggested another of their friends instead, and Dumbledore and the Potters agreed. After all, no one was more unremarkable and easily forgotten than Peter Pettigrew.


	29. Betrayal

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: I know it's sad but we had to get to this point eventually. Please keep reading and reviewing!  
**

**Betrayal**

"I'm leaving to check on Peter," Sirius called.

Elise came out of the kitchen holding Penelope and smiling at him. "Isn't she beautiful? Say goodbye to Daddy, Penny."

"Bye, Daddy," Penny said sleepily.

Sirius kissed his daughter's small forehead before kissing her mother much more ardently.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too. I'll see you in a bit."

Elise smiled as she heard his absurd flying motorcycle come to life and zip off down the street. She put Penelope to bed and sat up re-reading _Les Misérables_ for what was probably the hundredth time. She had put quite a good dent in it before Sirius returned. Only when she heard him at the door did she look at the time and worry. Elise met him halfway up the stairs.

"Sirius! You look awful, what happened? What took so long?"

She put her arms around him as he staggered up the stairs. Sirius slumped down on the bed, head in his hands.

"Sirius, talk to me. What's happened? Is Peter alright?" Her voice was steady and serious but the worry in her tone was building.

At the mention of Peter's name, Sirius looked up. "Oh, he won't be when I find him, that's for certain," he said darkly.

"What?"

"They're dead, Ellie. James and Lily. Peter's betrayed them and I made him Secret Keeper. Dead."

Elise was horrified. "Dead? But...Peter? Sirius, I..." Her voice trailed away, tears ran down her cheeks. Sirius wrapped his arms around her. "Harry? Is he..."

Sirius shook his head. "No. Harry's not dead. Hagrid took him to Dumbledore; he's going to live with Lily's Muggle sister and her husband. He stopped Voldemort, Ellie. Poor kid has a big gash on his forehead but Voldemort couldn't kill him."

They sat in silence, holding each other tightly and wondering at the cruelty of the world. Then Sirius leapt up, grim determination on his face.

"Where are you going now?" Elise held on to the sleeve of his robe. "Don't leave me," she pleaded.

"I'm going to find him. When I do, he'll wish it was Voldemort he had betrayed."

"Sirius, don't. Please. I can't stand all this. I don't want to be alone. I know you're angry but James and Lily wouldn't have wanted it. And you have a family too. Please, stay with me. I wouldn't be able to bear it if something happened to you."

"Nothing will happen to me, I swear. If I don't catch him, he can keep doing their bidding. Voldemort may be gone but the Death Eaters are still out there. Peter knows the Order's secrets. I have to stop him."

"Sirius this won't bring them back! Please…please, come to bed. I need you. Don't leave me alone with these horrible thoughts," she pleaded.

Sirius softened, hearing the fear and need in her voice. He sat back down on the bed and held her to him, stroking her hair as she let herself cry.

"Is Remus…?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know love, but he wasn't mixed up in this mess. He should be fine."

Elise kissed him fiercely, trying to drive away her fears. Sirius had always made her feel brave, she couldn't quite understand why. They were perfect compliments, two halves of a whole.

"I need you, now," she whispered.

Sirius heaved a mock sigh. "How is it you have such a voracious appetite at such an odd time?"

Elise raised an eyebrow.

He grinned his devilish grin and pushed her back into the pillows.

* * *

When Elise was asleep, Sirius quietly dressed himself and recovered his wand from the bedroom floor. He stood a moment and watched her sleep, her brow sweaty and her cheeks still flushed. She was so beautiful. He felt incredibly guilty about what he was going to do, looking down at her.

He kissed both her and Penelope goodbye before stealing out into the night, vengeance still on his mind.

***

When Elise woke alone near midday, she guessed immediately where Sirius had gone.

"If he comes back, I'll kill him."

She lay in bed, fuming at his bullheadedness. As the day wore on, however, her anger gave way to doubt and fear. She hadn't heard a ruckus, hadn't heard screams or explosions. He couldn't have gotten into anything too horrendous, he was only after one person and Peter had never been as gifted and Sirius and James.

She whiled away the rest of the day with Penny, accomplishing nothing and looking alternatively between the clock and the front window every few minutes. She was restless all night, waking at the smallest sound and checking on Penny obsessively.

Elise spent the next morning as she had the previous day. When the doorbell rang hours later, her heart leapt to her throat and she rushed to the door. At the sight of the Ministry official on her threshold, she paled and clutched the doorframe.

"Mrs. Black?"

She nodded, unable to speak.

"I have come on behalf of the Ministry of Magic to inform you that your husband Sirius Black has been arrested for the murder of twelve Muggles and one wizard by the name of Peter Pettigrew, as well as breaking the Statue of Secrecy in plain sight of a street full of Muggles. His wand has been terminated and he will shortly be sent to Azkaban prison. He had this on him," the official concluded, producing a folded sheet of parchment with her name on it. "Good day, ma'am." He Disapparated.

Elise stood frozen, the piece of parchment clutched in her hand. A sob racked her body and she slid down the doorframe. Her breaths came in gasps as she tried to comprehend what had just happened. The Potters dead. Peter a traitor. Sirius in Azkaban. It didn't seem possible. She cried against the wall for what could have been hours or mere minutes before she shut the front door and dragged herself to bed where she cried harder. She couldn't even summon the strength to write Remus and make sure he was okay.

She wasn't even angry at him. He couldn't have killed all those people. Something must have happened to him. Maybe the Imperious Curse. But he wouldn't have killed innocent bystanders. Elise cried harder at the thought of her husband doing something so vicious.

She felt empty, unable to completely comprehend that he would never hold her in his arms again. Never laugh and play with Penny. Never be there watching her sleep. Never kiss her. Never touch her. She would never have another of his children. The word 'broken' seemed too simple to encompass how empty and incomplete she felt.

Elise cried herself to sleep, dark thoughts plaguing her dreams.

* * *

It was two days after the fall of Lord Voldemort before Remus Lupin could get away from his Order duties. He sent a very brief message to headquarters and Apparated to the Black's backyard. From the back porch he could make out Penelope's cries mixed with the loud, raucous notes of the Muggle rock that Elise was blaring at the radio's highest capacity.

Remus entered the house, hands clamped firmly over his pounding ears. He found the offending radio and tapped it with his wand, changing the station and cutting the volume in half. Elise was lying on the couch, her wailing daughter cradled in her arms and a half empty bottle of wine on the coffee table. Her eyes were red, her cheeks tear-stained and she was huddled up in Sirius's favorite traveling cloak and her now wrinkled wedding dress.

"Ellie..."

Elise looked up at him. She looked broken, like Sirius was more than just her husband, like he was a physical part of her and she couldn't keep her life together without him there. Remus crouched down next to her and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"What can I do Ellie?" he whispered.

"I can't live like this. I don't know what to do."

"Think about Penny, you need to take care of her. She should be your reason to go on."

Elise buried her face in the couch pillows and sobbed into them, shaking her head and mumbling something incoherent. Remus could tell there was nothing to do at the moment. He gently removed the sniffling Penny from her mother's arms and took her to her room. Once she was calmed he returned to the living room, silencing the radio and vanishing the wine with a wave of his wand. He hoisted Elise up and carried her to bed, drawing the curtains and tucking the blankets in around her.

Remus combed the house for things to do, things to keep him occupied from his own grief. He did chores without magic to waste more time but eventually the feeling of loss overwhelmed him. Finally, he sank onto the couch, face in his hands.

Lying awake, Elise could hear him weeping as she stared at the same spot on the wall. Why was the world so cruel? The downfall of Lord Voldemort should have been a reason to celebrate, but it had taken the lives of the Potters and stolen her husband from her.

She heard the door open and Remus came in and lay next to her. Elise wrapped her arms around her miserable friend. They lay on the bed together, letting their sorrows consume them, each glad of the other's company.


	30. Changes

**What Life Could Have Been  
**

**A/N: Going to be jumping around a bit after this. You'll get what I mean with the next few chapters, just bear with me.  
**

**Changes**

Given that the circumstances were bleak for all of them, Remus took it upon himself to get Elise out of her melancholy. Not that it was going to be an easy task. Or a particularly enjoyable one. But he needed to stick with her, especially considering a large percentage of their good friends had just been killed or sent to prison. And she had been there to help him with his 'furry little problem.' And Penny needed a mother for Merlin's sake.

Remus decided to give Elise her space for a few days, sleeping on the couch and taking care of Penny. When she asked for Elise, he told her Mummy was sick. When she asked for Sirius, he told her that Daddy had to go away for awhile. He only hoped he was making the job easier for Elise because he felt horrible for lying to the little girl about the state of her family.

* * *

When Elise did emerge from her bedroom, she was pale, unkempt and had a sickly look about her. She was still wearing her now very distressed wedding dress. Remus had to catch her as she stumbled down the stairs, tripping on the train.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, worry clear on his face. He steered her into a chair at the small kitchen table.

"Not really. But I'll have some toast to keep you from worrying," she said quietly.

"Thank you. I have been worrying. Will you take some tea as well?"

She nodded.

Remus set the prepared tea and toast in front of her and sat down across the table. Elise stared at the toast on the plate.

"Would you like some jam?"

"Just give me time."

"Okay."

He listened to the minutes tick by on the clock. She continued to stare at her toast. When the clock struck ten, Remus excused himself to get Penny up. She had just mastered walking but still held fast to Remus's hand when he brought her into the kitchen. He set her chair up next to her mother and got her toast with strawberry jam. Penny quietly watched her mother, who seemed to be staring past the toast now, though she had nibbled at a corner.

"Mummy?" Penny asked softly.

"Mummy's sick Penny. She's trying to eat but she doesn't feel very good," he tried to explain.

Penny pointed to the small bite taken out of the toast. "Eat," she said.

"Yes, that's very good. See? Mummy's trying."

With this clarification and the reassuring sight of her mother, Penny was able to enjoy her toast. Elise took another little bite, but she clearly wasn't hungry. Remus was watching her with concern and when she looked up he saw the tears in her eyes. She looked from Penny, happily eating her toast, and back to Remus, the despair plain on her face.

"I know," he said.

She nodded slightly and took a shaky breath.

"Penny, how would you like to visit Grandma and Grandpa today?" Remus asked the little girl.

She smiled and nodded, her mouth full of toast.

"Sounds like fun. Do you think Grandma will bake you cookies?"

Remus was thankful it was easy to get a child excited so quickly.

"I'll go send your Grandma an owl and let her know we're coming and you see if you can get Mummy to eat another bite of toast, okay?"

"Okay!"

Remus gave Elise a sympathetic look and rushed out to send the owl and pack Penny a bag.

"Toast Mummy! Eat toast!"

Elise managed two more bites to please Penny and even a few sips of her now cold tea. Remus returned promptly with the bag packed for Penny.

"Puppy?" Penny asked, pointing at the bag.

"Yes, I packed your puppy," he said, eyes on Elise who was fighting to contain a sob. "We're just waiting for an owl from Grandma, okay?"

Penny nodded. "More toast?" she asked, crumbs and jam smudged all around her mouth.

"Of course."

He heard Elise steadying her breathing while he busied himself with the toaster.

"Mummy?"

"Mummy's okay Penny," Elise replied. "Just a little sick." She did her best to smile and take another bite of toast. "Remus, tu comprends le français?"

"Un peu."

"Je ne veux pas voir mes parents, comprenez?"

"Oui."

"Je te voudrais rester avec moi encore, s'il te plait."

"Oui, bien sur."

"Merci."

"De rien."

* * *

An owl returned from Elise's parents not a half hour later and Remus took Penny to their house straightaway. Elise had not moved when he returned, but she had made a few more bites progress on her toast.

"This is really hard for me, Remus."

He took the tea and the toast away from her and brought her a glass of water, which she cooperatively drank.

"I know I need to do it for Penny, but…"

"… it was a little too much for one morning. I understand. Your mother said she'd take care of Penny for as long as you needed. And of course I'll stay with you for as long as you need."

"Thank you."

He tidied up the kitchen from breakfast and then rejoined her at the table.

"I'm barely holding on here. Please come hold me Remus, I need to cry."

Elise seemed to cry with her whole body and Remus held her through it. When she slipped from her chair, he sat on the kitchen floor with her. And when she had exhausted herself, he carried her upstairs again.

* * *

Elise went through many episodes like this and Remus did his best to help her through them. It took her a very long time to adjust; he wasn't sure if she'd ever fully recover. Penny stayed with Elise's parents for a few weeks and then she decided she needed to learn to care for her daughter despite the pain it caused her. Brushing her glossy black hair. Looking into her beloved blue eyes. Telling her that her Daddy had gone away for a long time. She dreaded the day when Penny would be old enough to understand the whole story. She wasn't sure she could tell it.

Eventually, Remus was able to go about his life, though he still checked on Elise and Penelope almost daily. Daily eventually turned into weekly. And checking eventually returned to friendship. The kind of friendship where there are only two friends who only have each other. It was a sad situation that eventually became normal, though never natural. Usual, but never easy. Tolerable, but never okay.

**FRENCH TRANSLATIONS**

"Remus, tu comprends le français?"/ Remus, do you understand French ?

"Un peu."/ A bit.

"Je ne veux pas voir mes parents, comprenez?"/ I don't want to see my parents, understand.

"Oui."/ Yes

"Je te voudrais rester avec moi encore, s'il te plait."/ I'd like you to stay with me again, please.

"Oui, bien sur."/ Yes, of course.

"Merci."/ Thanks

"De rien."/ You're welcome.


	31. The Will

**What Life Could Have Been**

**The Will**

It was a day like any other day, neither good nor bad.

Elise sat at the small kitchen table with Remus and her daughter. Remus was a guest at breakfast almost every day. Elise was as much of a recluse as Remus would let her become. He drew the line at running errands for her, but consented to run them with her. In truth, they really did need each other. They had no secrets and a very short supply of friends. Remus's lycanthropic condition was not a commonly accepted character trait among the wizarding community and Elise's surname did not earn her much sympathy. And as much as she hated to think the words 'father figure,' that exactly what Remus was for Penny and she knew that's what her daughter needed.

Penny was now five, spirited and incredibly curious about the world. She loved being read to, and by Remus best of all. He was reading to her from a book of Muggle fairytales that morning as Elise sipped a cup of tea and read the Prophet. It had been nearly four years since the Dark Lord's downfall and the imprisonment of Sirius. She had been so thankful for Remus's friendship, especially his attention to Penny.

There was a tapping against the kitchen window. Penny looked up from the picture book on the table.

"Mummy, look! It's an owl," she said happily.

"That's odd, we've already gotten the mail," her mother mused.

"Can I let it in?" Penny asked.

"Of course."

Remus took Penny to the window and held her up as she opened it. The owl fluttered in and landed on the table. Elise untied the scroll from its leg and it flew out the still open window. She read the first letter as Remus closed the window and set Penny back down.

"What is it Ellie?" he asked quietly, seeing the look on her face.

"Sirius's mother died yesterday. His brother predeceased him, so she left him everything. And it all goes to me since he's in Azkaban for life. Here's a copy of the will," she replied, handing it to him and putting her face in her hands.

Penny ran over to her. "Mummy, what's wrong?" she asked.

Elise wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "It's nothing sweetie, I'm just thinking of Daddy." Penny reached up and hugged her.

Remus was staring at the will. "Wow. This is a lot Ellie. What're you going to do?"

"Well, the letter said the money is being moved to our vault and there's an address to write to when we want to see the house," she sighed heavily. "I don't know what I want to do. Do you think I should go see the house, Remus?"

"I don't think it can hurt. I'll go with you if you like."

"What do you think Penny? Do you want to go see Daddy's house?"

Penny nodded. Elise quickly scribbled a reply before she changed her mind and left the kitchen to send it.

"What's Daddy's house like, Remus?" Penny asked.

"I don't know Penny," he said, thinking of the family that had recently inhabited the house and all of the Dark objects that it must contain.

* * *

Number Twelve Grimmauld Place was a sinister looking place indeed. It took some coaxing to get Penny to go farther than the foyer. The sight of the decapitated house elves' heads, followed by the appearance Blacks' own decrepit house elf, Kreacher, sent her crying to her mother and she refused to do any more exploring on her own. Elise and Remus discovered many nasty Dark artifacts. They were followed around by the house elf, though they only knew by his wheezing. He got very defensive upon Elise's discovery of the Black Family Tree, after which she had a very serious discussion with him until she was very sure that he understood she was 'Mistress Black' now and he would obey her by stopping his skulking immediately. Other highlights of the expedition, if they could be called that, included her chat with the portrait of Sirius's mother and the discovery of Sirius's bedroom.

"What are you thinking?" Remus asked Elise when he found her in deep contemplation of the Black Family Tree.

She smiled, almost longingly. "I should be right here. And you should be here," she told Penny, pointing to a place on the tapestry under a burn mark where she knew Sirius's name had been.

"Ellie, would you really have wanted to be part of this family? Even if it's his family?" Remus asked.

"No, not especially. I do wish things had turned out differently though. I think we're going to live here, Penny. Someone needs to do something about this horrid old house," she mused.

"Really?" Remus asked incredulously. "You want to live here?"

"It will give me something to do. I'm twenty-five, as good as widowed and I've just inherited a house and a fortune, on top of the one Sirius already had. I'm not saying it will be easy or painless, but I think it will be a good exercise for me. What do you think Penny, do you want to live here?"

Penny shook her head. "I don't like that scary elf," she pouted.

"If there was no scary elf and Mummy and Remus made the house prettier, then would it be okay?"

Penny thought about it for a moment before nodding.

"Then that's what we'll do. I'm sure Dumbledore could help me with a frightening house elf. I'll write to him when we get home. You don't mind helping me move, do you Remus?"

"Of course not."

"Good, because the first thing I want to do is find a way to get that horrible portrait of Walburga Black off the wall. And I feel like it's going to take everything we know to do it."

Remus smiled at her grim determination, though it could have been enthusiasm. He wasn't quite sure.


	32. New Beginnings

**What Life Could Have Been  
**

**New Beginnings**

Time passed quickly for the fractured family. Elise had been worried about the change, but Number Twelve Grimmauld Place turned out to be much more inviting than she had anticipated with a little work. A little work that was much improved by the extraordinary cooking and cleaning skills of their peppy exchange house elf named Cheery. It had taken Elise and Remus many months and many attempts to remove Walburga Black's irate portrait. They had received quite an earful from the crazy old woman before they managed to get her down. The portrait was stored in the Tapestry Room, which Elise preferred to avoid. Most of the family's nasty Dark artifacts ended up in the same room. As Elise cleaned and redecorated the contents of the room grew and the rest of the house seemed to emerge from its darkness.

Elise had also decided that Penny would benefit from the company of her cousins in France, since their immediate family was so small. In addition to summers at the Chateau de Cygne, Elise and Penny, and sometimes even Remus, would join Lucienne, Rémy and their children for Christmases. Soline had grown up quickly; she took it upon herself to show Penny every secret nook and cranny of the castle. Elise was not surprised when Penny picked up bits of the language.

Penny grew up right before her mother's eyes, the most beautiful daughter she could have asked for. She often thought about how proud of her Sirius would be, she had known that from the day Penny was born. Sirius hadn't been able to take his eyes off her. With Elise's and Remus's combined efforts, Penny learned what she needed to know about the wizarding world and in preparation for Hogwarts. She was an avid reader and her innate curiosity was a natural aid to her education. She was impatient for her eleventh birthday to come, letters from Soline at Beauxbatons fueling her daydreams.

* * *

Penelope woke bright and early on September the first, 1991, anxiously awaiting the trip to King's Cross Station and then to Hogwarts. She had her trunk completely packed and her owl perched in its cage before Elise had woken up. Though she was eager to leave, she knew her mother may not share her feelings of enthusiasm. Penny had been her mother's constant companion for the past ten years.

At nine o'clock she could wait no longer, so she walked down the hall to her mother's room and knocked softly on the door.

"Mum?"

"You can come in Penny," Elise answered.

Elise was fixing her hair in the mirror when Penny entered.

"Are you going to be okay today?" she asked, sitting on the big bed. Her eyes always wandered around her mother's bedroom. Even with all the changes Elise had made to the old house, the rooms still retained some of their old grandeur. But it was the portrait above the bed that always caught Penny's eye: her young parents and herself as a baby. Sometimes she wondered how her mother could keep it there.

"Of course," Elise replied. "Today is a very important day for you, chérie."

Penny smiled, her anxious feeling returning.

"You've got everything ready, right?"

She nodded again.

"Don't be so nervous. You'll have a wonderful time."

"Will you be okay?" Penny asked.

Elise turned to look at her daughter. "That's sweet of you to be concerned for me. I'll manage. If you like I can promise to write you, will that make you feel better?"

"I guess. I just don't like the idea of leaving you alone in this big house."

"Nonsense. It will take ages for me to completely sort this house out. And I'm sure Remus shares your concern and will stop by this afternoon." Elise fastened the clasp on the Quaffle necklace Sirius had given her and smoothed out the skirts on her deep blue dress. "There, what do you think?" she asked.

"Very pretty Mum," Penny said.

The portrait of Sirius winked.

"Well, I'm sure we'll cause quite a stir on the platform. I haven't really shown my face in years. I expect there are some wonderful rumors about me. I don't want you to be ashamed of your name, no matter what others say to you, okay? Be proud of who you are Penny. That's one thing you can't let bother you. I expect it will be much worse for poor Harry, being who he is, but it wouldn't surprise me if you get some odd looks and flippant remarks. It was no small thing what happened ten years ago, and your father had to be a part of it…"

"Mum?"

"What I'm saying is don't let the Slytherins bother you. And _don't_ start any fights. Slytherins are not worth your time, I don't care how much you're like your father. I'll not have my daughter hexing other students, no matter what house they're in." Elise took a deep breath. "Sorry, I didn't mean for all of that to come out. It's been going through my head for a while."

"It's okay Mum. I understand."

Elise smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know you do. I'm so sorry you had to grow up so fast. You've always been much stronger than me. That's your father in you. I always was useless without him… Anyway, I know you'll be just fine. Let's get your trunk."

* * *

Elise saw Penny onto the Hogwarts Express just before eleven o'clock. The parting was not without tears, though not all the tears shed were sad.

"One more thing," Elise said, taking a small, well-read book from the pocket of her robe. "Remus gave me this when I was a fourth year, so it might be a little difficult to read. But I've read it to you so many times, and Soline has taught you well. This book has been with me through a lot," she said, handing Penny her old copy of _Les__ Misérables_. "It will keep you company if you find you miss me."

"Wow, thanks Mum. You're sure you won't miss it too much?" Penny asked.

"Not as much as I shall miss you, my darling. I will feel better knowing you have it." She gave Penny one last hug before she got on the train. "Do look out for Harry; send him my love, even though we've never met."

Elise stood on the platform, waving to Penny as the Hogwarts Express disappeared into the distance.


	33. Hogwarts Again

**What Life Could Have Been**

**A/N: I am alive and writing! R&R s'il vous plait!  
**

**Hogwarts Again**

Elise was dreading the big, empty house that would be her only companion until Penny returned in the summer, for Elise was certain that Penny would spend her holidays at Hogwarts as she had done. She was overcome with relief when she arrived home and Remus was waiting for her in the kitchen with a fresh brewed pot of tea.

Elise accepted a steaming mug and slumped back in her chair. "Why am I so useless, Remus? I never got this impression of myself when we were at school. I quite thought I had everything together. What am I going _to do_ all alone here without Penny?" she sighed. "This is rubbish, just rubbish."

Remus patted her arm sympathetically. "You'll adjust in time. You're a very resilient woman, though you may not think so. Give it time and find something to occupy yourself. You can't be done refurbishing this house yet, can you?"

She shook her head, tracing a knot in the wood of the table with her index finger.

"That's certainly somewhere to start, don't you think?"

Elise smiled and nodded. "Thanks for the encouragement, Remus."

"Anytime."

He seemed to relax, as if this resolution had lifted a great weight from his shoulders. He leaned back in his chair, shutting his eyes and massaging his temples. He sighed heavily and sipped his tea. Elise watched him, frowning slightly. She suddenly felt very guilty for depending so completely on Remus for so long. He had it so much harder than she did and she had never really considered this, being so consumed by her own melancholy. He had been so strong for her and it was only now that she saw just how old and tired Remus looked.

"Remus?" she asked quietly.

He opened his eyes. "Hmm?"

"I…I was just watching you, thinking about how grateful I am for everything you've done for me and Penny and…I…I feel like I've been exploiting your friendship," she admitted, looking down.

"Ellie, look at me, what in Merlin's name are you talking about?" Remus leaned across the table and tilted her chin up so she was looking him in the eyes. They were shimmering with tears. "Ellie…?"

She wiped her eyes. "I…I've put myself in this situation. I wasn't forced into being so reclusive and dependant. But you…you have a much bigger burden to bear…and I feel like I've just given you more than you needed to deal with."

"Ellie," Remus cut in, "Why are you thinking these things?"

She sighed, her breath shuddering. "You just look so old and tired. I know your lycanthropy isn't easy to deal with and watching over me and Penny hasn't exactly been an easy job…"

Remus sighed. "Ellie, it was a bad time for everyone. Don't think that you've put me through any inconvenience. At least when I was here with you and Penny, I was with people who don't care what I am, but people who care about me for me. Your friendship has been invaluable to me Ellie. You know most werewolves are outcasts. So no, you haven't been exploiting my friendship."

Ellie smiled a little more genuinely this time. "I'm glad to hear that. What a pair we make, huh?"

"Yeah, we're quite the misfits, aren't we?"

Elise nodded.

"Anyway, you certainly don't have to worry about Penny, if she's anything like her parents. She'll love Hogwarts."

"I know. I certainly did alright for myself. I mean, she can't meet anyone who's a worse influence than you lot were, can she?"

* * *

Penny stood in the corridor with her trunk waiting for the crowd to thin. She hadn't imagined there would be so many students on the train. She had no idea where to start looking for Harry but she figured he would be just as confused, if not more so.

Penny was just maneuvering her trunk around a boy who had dropped his stack of books, when a boy with white-blond hair at the other end of the carriage pointed in her direction and started towards her, followed closely by two boys who looked like they could be distantly related to a gorilla. The whole spectacle made Penny nervous.

"You're a Black aren't you?" the blond boy demanded.

"Erm, well, yes, I suppose I am. But, uh, wh-who're you and why do you want to know?" she asked quietly.

"Don't know who I am?" he sneered, looking behind to his friends as if this should be funny. It was a moment before they guffawed.

Penny felt uncomfortable. She felt her face growing hot. "No. I'm sorry. I don't know who you are. Should I?" She felt the urge to look around to see if they were causing a scene.

"Well, yes. You _are_ Penelope Black, aren't you?"

She nodded.

He extended a hand for her to shake. "Malfoy. Draco Malfoy." Penny was hesitant. "I'm your cousin," he explained. "Well, actually second cousin. Our parents are cousins."

She slowly shook his proffered hand. Draco turned and nodded at his friends, who turned and started to make their way back down the length of the carriage. Penny stood in the middle of the corridor, watching their backs recede when her newly proclaimed cousin turned back.

"Aren't you coming, Black?" he asked.

"Oh! Er, s-sorry…yes, I'm coming." She hurried to pull her trunk after her as she followed them through the train, wondering just what she was going to find out about her family now.

* * *

By the time the train arrived at Hogwarts, Penny had learned many interesting things from Draco Malfoy about her pureblood heritage. She spoke very little and was sure that he must find her very odd, although she wasn't sure what to think of her new cousin just yet. The way he spoke of the importance of purity of blood made her wary. This was just the kind of talk her mother had always warned her of, and dismissed as complete rubbish. Draco had been very pleased to hear that, as far as she new, all of her relatives on her mother's side were and had always been magical.

Penny was quite relieved when she got separated from Draco and his friends in the crowd of first-years filing into the Great Hall, although, she hadn't been able to locate Harry Potter yet either. As she was staring in wonderment up at the enchanted ceiling, she realized that she would be sorted almost immediately. Penny was sure she was as pale as one of the ghosts that floated amongst the house tables when Professor McGonagall called out "Black, Penelope." She did not even notice if there were whispers or turns of head as she made her way to the three-legged stool. All she saw before the Sorting Hat dropped over her eyes was Draco Malfoy's expectant face, no doubt hopeful that his cousin would join him in Slytherin.

"_Ooh, now here's one with an interesting family,"_ she heard the old hat say.

"What?"

"_You come from many talented witches and wizards, my dear. Where do _you_ belong?"_

"I-I don't think I should be placed just based on my heritage. I…"

"_You want to do your father proud."_

"Y-yes."

"_And your mother, of course. Can't forget about her. But you're not so sure about yourself, are you?"_

"I know I don't belong in Slytherin, if that's what you mean. I don't think I'm like what my cousin was talking about."

"_Yes, I can certainly see that. Well, then you'd better try your luck in—"_

"Gryffindor!"

The old hat said this last word aloud and cheers went up from the Gryffindor table. She could see that Draco looked very put out when she passed him. Penny watched the rest of the sorting in interest, waiting to catch a glimpse of Harry. She was joined by many others at the Gryffindor table before Harry went up to be sorted. Draco, and his hulking friends Crabbe and Goyle, went to Slytherin without a moment's hesitation from the hat.

The Great Hall was silent when Professor McGonagall called out "Potter, Harry" from her list. The sorting of Harry Potter seemed to take a long time; the Hat must have had a lot to think about. When the Hat finally called out "Gryffindor!" the cheers that erupted from their table were deafening. Penny applauded along with the rest, though she wasn't nearly as excited as the bushy-haired brunette sitting next to her. To her surprise, Harry sat almost directly across from her, right next to a group of red-headed and freckled boys he seemed to know. They were all watching as a fourth boy, "Weasley, Ronald," who could only be their brother, was called up to be sorted. He also joined the crowd at the Gryffindor table.

The Sorting concluded shortly after Ron was seated and as the students listened to Professor Dumbledore give his start of term speech, Penny was sure she could see Draco trying to catch her eye from the Slytherin table. She decided to ignore him and figure out what she wanted to say to Harry.

When the empty dishes on the long tables magically filled with food, her conundrum was solved. Many of the other first years around her struck up conversations about their parents, getting their Hogwarts letters and where they were from. Harry seemed to be acquainted with the Weasley brothers already, but Penny noticed he wasn't sharing anything about himself.

"Harry?"

He looked over at her. "Yeah?"

"I just wanted to introduce myself. My name's Penny Black," she said. This earned her a look from the bushy-haired girl which she chose to ignore.

Harry nodded in acknowledgement. "I guess you know that I'm Harry Potter already then," he said.

Penny nodded, smiling nervously. "I—I don't want to be your friend just because you're famous. I…well, our parents were best of friends and… my mum is your godmother."

The surprise was evident on his face. His red-haired friend Ron was also listening now.

"I've got a godmother?" Harry asked for clarification.

"Yes. My mum tried to see you but your aunt and uncle wouldn't let her. They didn't want her to tell you about being a wizard. I remember her being very angry with them…"

Harry was eager for more information.

"Well…er…I suppose I would've known you for eleven years had things turned out differently…that's what Mum always says. And she'd like very much to write to you, if that's okay? She'd probably explain things better than me."

"Tell her I'd like her letters very much. And I'm sorry about my aunt and uncle."

Penny beamed. "Good. I'm very glad to finally meet you Harry." She reached a hand across the table and he shook it.

The bushy-haired brunette turned to her when they'd all resumed eating. "If your last name's Black does that mean that your father is Si—?"

Penny cut her off; she _did not_ want this nosy girl asking her _that_ question. "It's just me and my mum, okay? I haven't _got_ a father."

The girl was surprised by her tone and didn't ask her again.

Penny sighed and returned to her dinner, hoping that was the last time she'd have to deal with such and inquiry.


End file.
